This Drifting World
by CschMan20
Summary: [Modern AU] Naruto and Sasuke are roommates in college. When a pretty, pink-haired girl transfers into their university and rooms with Ino, their circumstances change indefinitely. And through the tangles of confusion and love, these four are ultimately transformed by their desires.
1. Before the Dive

Chapter 1: Before the Dive

" _anyone lived in a pretty how town  
(with up so floating many bells down)  
spring summer autumn winter  
he sang his didn't he danced his did."_

-E.E. Cummings

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

There was a breeze of salty air rushing in through the cracked window, and it smoothly drifted around him and passed farther into the little room. His philosophy homework was scattered before him in a disorganized heap on his desk. He rubbed his hands against his forehead and sighed heavily as he listened to the waves outside his window. Sounding like something akin to a lullaby, they sent their natural rhythms into his anxious mind. Having grown accustomed to the ocean's close, almost intimate presence over the last year, he considered it a friend these days. Occasionally, he would forget it was there because of how familiar he was with it. But then, when careful moments like this floated into his room, he regarded the harmonious crashing of constant falls and rises with a wistful demeanor.

Naruto coiffed his blond locks to the side as he leaned in his chair. Why did professors assign homework on the first week? He knew the education system was typically harsh because of the unforgiving reality of the real world, but grace was still gladly appreciated. At the very least, he was confident he had figured out what most professors usually wanted, so it was pretty easy to just focus on that and get it done.

He allowed his eyes to wander around his dorm room. His collection of photographs and pictures aligned his wall in an asymmetrical pattern. The roommate would continually remind him of how perturbed he was by how terrible it looked, but Naruto didn't care all that much. If he was being honest, he enjoyed watching the roommate fidget in frustration. The dorm had been painted a standard, dull tan color—just like all the other rooms in the building. Naruto was thankful he had chosen a university that had a single bathroom included with every dorm room. It was barely more than a tiny alcove with a sink, toilet, and shower, but he was grateful nonetheless.

Naruto had chosen to loft his bed this year while the roommate had decided on keeping his down with the earthworms. The room always felt different when the roommate was gone. Outside, the wind sped up; it swam into the dorm and brushed through his hair. He let nature fill his head with positive thoughts that would distract him longer as he closed his eyes. Grander ideas entered his mind and drifted around, sublimating him. The world carried such immaculate beauty, didn't it?

He suddenly opened his eyes and looked down at his work. He groaned at the first question: _In 4-5 sentences, describe what Beauty means to you._ It would appear his brain was dwelling on that subject a little too long. He didn't even know where to start, despite his recent musings on the weather outside his window. Sure, the beach and the ocean were gorgeous, but he was pretty sure his professor was looking for something a little more esoteric than something like that.

Just when he was thinking about taking a break, his door opened and the roommate stood in the doorway. An amused smile crept upon his chiseled features. Naruto swerved in his chair, and he groaned again. "What're you doing here? Thought you had class."

The roommate stopped smiling and glided into the dorm. "It ended early. Also, I have some info: the new transfers are coming in today."

Naruto's ocean-blue eyes shifted at the comment and then went back to his work. "I'm doing homework."

The roommate's smile came back when he saw the empty page. "Yeah, and it looks like you're working hard on it."

Naruto nodded in an exasperated fashion. "Unfortunately. On top of that, it's taking over my damn thoughts."

"That's for philosophy, right?" he asked. "Isn't that the whole point of it?"

"Maybe for someone who cares!"

The roommate chuckled softly, a sound few people were familiar with. "You won't have that class again until next week, yeah? Why are you even working on it?

Naruto turned his chair completely around and stared blankly at his roommate. "Because I'm trying to be responsible."

The roommate's smile widened involuntarily. "I would hardly consider you to be responsible."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Maybe I want to change that."

The roommate's eyebrow rose in scrutiny. "And you could not have tried this last year?"

"It didn't matter as much then, but classes will be harder this time around," Naruto reminded him.

"Ah. So, that's called being responsible, huh?"

Naruto turned back to face his desk, ignoring the question. "I need to get this done before work tonight, all right? Why are you even here, anyways?"

His roommate dug both his hands into his jean pockets. "I told you already: I was gathering information. New students, so that means?" He drew the question out with emphasis.

The disgruntled blond only turned his head this time, but his eyes were sparkling as he realized what the implication was. "New girls."

The roommate's smile was no longer comprised of amusement. "Exactly, and they're not the freshman but _transfers_. Admin got them registered late, so they're just now coming in. I also hear a considerable number of them are from abroad."

Naruto finally stood up from his chair. Procrastination was an ancient habit to the stressed student. He raced over to his shoes adjacent to the doorway and began putting them on. "You could have started with that, you know!"

Sasuke turned the corner and strolled down the hallway as he called out to his roommate. "You wouldn't have heard it. Hurry up."

After his shoes were on and an excited grin was plastered on his mug, Naruto rushed down the hallway to meet up with his best friend. Girls were always a lot more interesting than philosophy, after all.

* * *

The private university enrolled over three thousand students and more than half of them lived on-campus. A significant number of those students came from many different areas, both nationally and internationally with the demographic for Japanese students being the largest when concerning foreigners. Because the university was known for its strong community and impressive student life, many families from around the world sent their aspiring sons and daughters there.

Despite the college board's careful planning, there was always a group of transfers who were enrolled late into the first week of classes. The student life directors, being the welcoming bunch they were, decided to allow the student clubs to hold their annual "Club Fest" on the same day. The student life directors liked to think they knew how to plan better than the administrative staff ever could. Most people agreed with that notion.

When the annual transfers came into the central field next to the administrative building that particular year, they were greeted by a plethora of booths and shouting club members, pleading to get the treasured students into their clubs. Needless to say, the transfers were immediately overwhelmed and terrified by the hysteria of the festival. At least the freshman had been given some time to become familiar with the territory, but the poor transfers were clueless. The club members were usually so elated and desperate for new students that everyone would overlook this important observation; everyone except for Sasuke and Naruto, of course.

Across the field, the two roommates were surveying the groups of transfers. Sasuke was the first to notice the Japanese transfers had made their own tight-knit group. Specifically, the girls were surrounding each other away from the other transfers. Because both of the male roommates were Japanese-Americans, they were fairly confident in their knowledge and ability to woo them.

Naruto had the plan all figured out: they would approach the nervous women and suavely ask them if they would like to be escorted around to the clubs. They would then play it safe and give them a cautionary tour through the different booths. Sasuke had to admit that if they approached with confidence, then Naruto's plan would probably be effective. Even if none of the girls were interested in them, they would most likely be grateful for the assistance and protection from the desperate assorted club members. And they could work with gratitude.

As the two boys meandered over to the women, the plan changed when a loud call rang from the group. One girl broke away from the main group and raised her voice to them. "It's fine! We need to stop standing around and meet new people, OK!?"

Then, the world stopped.

Time no longer moved as everything was still, even sound. Naruto was not sure if his jaw was open, but he could sense his mind was alert, focused. In front of him, was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He was not a man who believed in love at first sight, but he knew what immediate attraction was.

Her hair ended right above her shoulders and was dyed pink. She had a harmonic, smooth voice that also somehow managed to percolate power like an undersea current. She was clearly Japanese, but her English sounded like a native-speaker. The amount of confidence she exuded made Naruto almost lose balance. Her slender frame was evidently tone and well-maintained. Her skin was fine, and he knew if he grazed his fingers across it, he would easily melt away into the texture.

And then, the world moved again.

Naruto suddenly wondered how ridiculous his face looked as he was openly admiring this woman. When he took a moment to glance at his best friend, he wondered if he could form an idea. As usual, his roommate's face was virtually unreadable. No luck there.

Before either of them could make a comment, the pretty woman turned directly to them. "Excuse me, could you two gentleman help us?" A pair of sensational emerald-green eyes peered at the two friends. The innate yearning to drown in them was founded in Naruto's blurred head.

Sasuke's eyes sharpened with resolve, but Naruto was the first to speak up. "Sure!" he called. "We could do that!"

The half dozen or so females who were also part of the group began whispering and giggling to each other. Naruto knew they were more than likely discussing how handsome his roommate was. He had gotten used to that back in high school.

Naruto initially held up his hand to indicate the standard Western greeting before he caught himself. He bowed quickly to correct his error. "My name's Naruto Uzumaki!"

The pink-haired woman brought her hand up to her lips to suppress a giggle. "I appreciate the gesture, but a handshake is fine."

She reached over to grab his hand and shook it firmly. "My name is Sakura Haruno. Pleased to meet you."

Naruto's mind was conflicted in that second. He was busy archiving the most fitting, sweet-sounding name into his brain as well as relishing her touch. He had been right; her skin was melting him. Naruto's small world shattered when her hand retreated. He would never touch anything as tender again and was probably ruined forever.

Smooth eyes glimmered when they rolled towards the dark-haired roommate. "And your name?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke's face was stoic when he answered her. He politely held his hand out. "Sasuke Uchiha. Your English is very good. You sound like a local."

Sakura grinned at that. "Yep! My mother is from the States. She actually went to college here too, and a lot of her side of the family live around here. It's kind of like a second home to me. Come on; you need to meet everybody!" She turned and gestured to the small group of girls behind her. The five of them shyly waved at the two men, and the boys were left with the only choice but to wave back. Sakura gave their names which Naruto immediately forgot. He knew Sasuke would remember them later.

As the two roommates led the little group around the varying booths, Sasuke struck up a conversation with the new transfer. "So what year are you, Sakura?" he asked. Naruto openly gawked at his friend. The quiet man rarely initiated conversation and the only time he did with a woman was when…

 _Shit._

Sakura blinked. "I'm a sophomore. I transferred here from a university in Tokyo with a major in nursing. At first, I was a little against the decision to leave home, but the college here made it super easy for me to transfer my credits over. They gave me a hell of a discount, too. Considering I love America to boot, I figured it was a no-brainer."

Naruto cut in. "Well, I for one, am thrilled you're here!"

For one moment, Sakura's eyes had widened at the sudden declaration, but then she beamed at him. "Thank you! So, what year are you guys?"

Sasuke cleared his throat. "We're also sophomores. We grew up around here, too. Our parents were friends in college together in Japan and then they both moved here. Because of them, we grew up across the street from each other."

Sakura nodded her understanding. "Wow, so you guys must be like brothers to one another."

Naruto leaned forward next to Sasuke. "Yup! We've known each other our whole lives! This bastard still won't leave me alone!"

Sakura stared at the two men. One was stoic and seemed to be slightly annoyed, and the other was grinning from ear-to-ear. Her eyes sparkled when she smiled at them. "You guys are really interesting."

She didn't know it was possible, but Naruto's grin actually grew wider. "You're not too bad yourself, Sakura!"

Sasuke nodded. "I must agree with my friend. I'm glad we found each other. You seem like a very outgoing person."

A faint tint of red brushed her nose and then vanished. "Well, I try. You guys are really sweet. Is everyone here like this?"

Naruto took his opportunity. "Yeah, but we're a lot better than any of them; I can promise you that.."

A strong glint in her eyes radiated interest. "Really? That's quite a statement. Do you think you can back it up?"

Sasuke answered for him. "We can try."

As they traversed through the raucous crowds and colorful booths, Sakura learned more about the two men. "So, what are your majors?" she asked as they looked through pamphlets given to them by the Cooking Club.

Naruto tagged in before Sasuke could. "Mine's in history and Sasuke's is in business."

Sakura turned to Sasuke. "Business, huh?"

Naruto felt a nervous finger of dread slither up his heart when he saw the look Sasuke gave her. "Yes. It's a very versatile degree, and I enjoy having options."

"I think that's very wise," said Sakura. There was an unfamiliar glow in her smile.

Naruto felt the sudden need to say something. "Do you speak Japanese, Sakura?" His voice was louder than he intended for it to be.

Sakura didn't seem to be particularly fazed over her new friend's abruptness or the apparent foolishness of the question. "Yes, I do. It's my first language, technically. I learned English alongside it as well, so I'm fluent in both languages."

"And you wish to be a nurse?" asked Sasuke.

Sakura's eyes lit up as she made her proclamation: "Absolutely! I love the medical field and I really think I can do a lot of good there."

Sasuke was about to comment more on the matter when a man with narrow, chestnut eyes yelled from a nearby booth labeled 'Literature Club.' "Oi, you bringing that gorgeous lady over here, guys, or you just going to flaunt around and pretend I'm not even here?"

Naruto stretched out his arm to wave at his friend. "Hi, Shikamaru!"

Sasuke and the others walked over to the booth. "Shikamaru, this is Sakura; she just transferred in today," he declared.

Shikamaru introduced himself and proceeded to tell her about the club. By the end of his explanation, Naruto could tell she was more interested than she was with the other clubs. His suspicions were concluded later after they had broken away from the rest of the girls. They had been moving towards the dorm buildings when Sakura announced: "I think I'll join that one."

"Ah. Then I will, too," said Sasuke.

Naruto regarded his friend with a shocked expression. "Wait, what? Are you serious? But—"

Sasuke cut him off. "I've been giving it some thought, and I'm not satisfied with my current club. Plus, I'm sure it would benefit Sakura if she had a friend in there with her."

Sakura shook her head. "I couldn't ask you to do something like that."

"Well, it's a good thing you're not asking me," Sasuke said coolly.

Naruto scratched his chin. "Man, Sasuke, the Cooking Club won't be the same again without you. Granted, we originally joined only so we could get some extra food."

Sasuke smiled softly at him. "You could join us, if you'd like?"

And Naruto almost did. But right before he could make that decision, he saw the evident admiration in Sakura's eyes as she gazed at his roommate. He didn't want to keep seeing that if that's how things were going to be. The girls always went for Sasuke, he thought dully.

"Nah," he answered, "I'm good."

Sakura, having decided to welcome the idea of seeing more of Sasuke, grinned brightly. "I suppose I can't fight you on this, Sasuke. I look forward to it. Well, I have to go finish moving into my dorm. Unpacking all that stuff is going to take some time. See you guys around!"

And, with that, the woman who would transform the roommates' lives forever jogged away from them, waving both her hands to them as she ran. As the two men watched her retreating form, Sasuke turned to step in the opposite direction. Before his dark-haired roommate left his presence, Naruto heard him leave a cryptic comment.

"She's pretty cool."

Naruto kept his feet planted in place, attempting to decipher what his best friend's motives were. They weren't that difficult for him to figure out.

* * *

Naruto stretched his sinewy muscles to throw two heaping bags of garbage into the dumpster. The stars above him showered their meek glow upon the world as the mellow evening sunlight abated against the drowned sky. He groaned at the tenderness in his arms for lugging the heavy trash as he lumbered over to the back door. He opened it and stepped back into the pepperoni-scented establishment. Garbed in his standard work attire, Naruto spanned the long hallway and entered the big room laden with thunderous clanging.

The bushy-browed owner of the pizza parlor, Guy, called out to his respected employee. "Thanks for taking the trash out, Naruto. Sasuke just got here and is unloading the shipment we just got. Could you go help him, my youthful friend?"

Naruto would like to say he had grown accustomed to his boss's unique idiosyncrasies, but then he would be lying. The blond nodded and quietly walked past the register where Rock Lee, Guy's vehement follower and border-line worshipper, was stationed. The peculiar young man with a bowl-cut haircut that was identical to his employer's style beckoned to his friend. "Do you require my assistance, my young coworker?"

Naruto gave Lee a bored look. "No thanks. You just watch the register." The disinterested student ambled into the back where the walk-in fridge was located.

The blond stepped into the fridge and witnessed an outlandish sight. The always responsible Sasuke Uchiha was not unpacking the shipment at all. Instead, he was on his phone, scrolling through a web-page filled with text. Upon closer inspection, Naruto could carefully make out the words "analysis" and "Poe."

Naruto made his presence known by scoffing. "No way. Are you actually doing what I think you're doing?"

It was not often the composed companion was seen so flustered over something, but whenever it did happen, Naruto was usually present for it. "I want to understand her, all right? Is it so wrong to try to appeal to a girl through her interests?"

Naruto chuckled and leaned against the metal door of the fridge. "Man, I love seeing you so defensive. No, there's nothing wrong with it as long as you manage to find it interesting in the end, I guess. Hell, if our professors used this tactic to their advantage, we'd all get A's."

Sasuke stood up and put his phone into his pocket, the initial embarrassment seeming to fade. "You're not wrong. Frankly, I like the girl."

Naruto's mouth was ajar, his mind somewhere else for a moment. "Then why didn't you ask her for her number when you had the chance?"

The epiphany dawned on the young man, and Naruto relished the view. It was not every day he got to see his perceptive roommate fail to act on a golden opportunity. "I fucked up, didn't I?"

Naruto laughed heartily at that. "You'll be fine. I'm sure Edgar Allan Poe will ease your worries."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in irritation. "You know his works will probably just make it worse for my psyche, don't you?"

Naruto grabbed a block of sealed cheese from a box and shelved it. "Still won't stop you from reading them, I'm sure."

Sasuke shook his head and assisted his friend by fishing the meat from the same box. After a few minutes of consolidation, Sasuke announced some of his findings. "Did you know Edgar Allan Poe was paid only nine dollars for his poem, _The Raven_?

Naruto raised a curious eyebrow at him. "What?"

Sasuke continued. "I mean, in relative terms, it'd be around three hundred dollars in today's market but that's not the point. The poem is, arguably, one of the greatest pieces of literature ever written and the poor guy probably only paid his monthly rent with the money he got for it. The whole ordeal sounds pretty tragic, if you ask me."

Naruto snatched an empty box and chucked it outside the fridge. He sighed with exasperation. "Yeah, well, I didn't ask for that. Man, you got it bad."

Sasuke ignored his friend's jab and continued the stocking. Once the two workers were finished with their task, they ventured out into the kitchen. The kitchen was openly connected with a much larger room that was the main dining area for the restaurant.

The only structure dividing the kitchen from the rest of the room was a black marble counter. That cursed counter was famed among the workers in the parlor as Guy's Bane. The strange business owner had paid a small fortune for the damned slab of marble, and he was constantly fussing over it. Of course, the odd, jolly man always put his workers and their safety above any material possessions, but the occasional bark or warning to 'mind the counter, my young friend' would surface whenever someone was negligent. One instance, a couple years back, Naruto had carelessly dropped a can of pizza sauce on the counter and Guy had made him scrub it furiously for almost an hour.

When the two roommates stepped into the kitchen, they noted the fact that Lee had been moved to dough preparation. Guy delegated Naruto to the topping station and Sasuke to the register. Customers trickled into the restaurant and for most of the night, nothing substantial occurred, at least, until she arrived.

Several minutes before the end of Naruto's shift when there was scarcely a customer in sight, a familiar curtain of pink hair entered the establishment. Sasuke, being at the front counter, was the first to notice her. Naruto was not far behind in noting the obvious entrance; however, and he checked to see if his boss was around. Guy was evidently with Rock Lee in the back room.

Sakura was not alone. A girl with a hairstyle composed of two Chinese-style buns was accompanying Sakura, and she seemed to be fixated on the décor of the parlor's interior. Naruto silently realized she was one of the girls in the small group of transfers earlier that day.

When Sakura recognized the workers, she flashed a dazzling grin. "My, what a surprise."

Her companion stopped her analysis of the decorations and looked inquisitively at her friend, only for her eyes to widen at the sight of a handsome man leaning against the front counter and smiling at the two of them. "No way," she uttered.

Sasuke stood uprightly and typed something on the computer screen in front of him. "And what would you two fine ladies like tonight?"

Naruto shook his head as he topped a pizza for delivery with some olives. Sasuke could be so smooth sometimes you would never think he was anything but, Naruto thought to himself. He knew better.

Sakura and her friend approached the counter, and Naruto waved to her when she was close enough to see him behind Sasuke's frame.

"Hi, Naruto!" she greeted. "So both you guys work here? That's so cool." She gently placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "You both remember Tenten, right?"

Naruto simply nodded rather than rudely declare his ignorance. Sasuke tilted his head in welcome. "Good to see you again, Tenten." He fastened his eyes back to Sakura. "Now, you haven't answered my initial question. What would you like?"

Sakura leaned against the counter and smiled coyly. "What would you suggest?"

Naruto's voice echoed throughout the giant room. "I recommend the Hawaiian!" Naruto closed his mouth swiftly as he realized his brashness too late.

Sasuke didn't even wince at the noise. "I agree; the Hawaiian is spectacular."

Tenten visibly averted her eyes away from the gorgeous smile Sasuke was showcasing. Sakura, however, did not falter in the slightest. "We'll have one of those, then." She handed him a twenty.

Sasuke glanced at the bill and then back up to her. "I'm terribly sorry, valued customer, but I'm afraid we require further compensation."

The delicate smile Sakura displayed was evidence to the fact that she knew what he was up to. "Oh, is that so? Then, what do you need?"

Sasuke presented a playful smirk. "I'm afraid it will take too long to explain, so I'm going to need a phone number to call for further explanation."

Sakura grabbed a pen from her purse. "Very well."

Sasuke brought out a notepad from a drawer underneath the register and as she wrote her cell number, Sasuke scratched his cheek slowly. "We will also need to meet up in person to discuss this matter more appropriately."

Sakura had a smirk of her own. "The pizza here must be very delicious to have to go through so much trouble."

"I assure you it is."

In the kitchen, Naruto had put the prepared pizza into the oven and snatched a baked one from a lower rack. He placed the pizza on a thin metal sheet over the marble counter and took out a pizza cutter to begin cutting slices. The oiliness in his best friend's voice was almost as greasy as the pizza's, Naruto thought as he cut.

Tenten rolled her eyes at the flirtatious encounter. "So, can you get to making the food, then?"

Sasuke's eyes didn't leave the emerald pools in front of him. "Not until I receive verbal confirmation on our meeting."

The next sentence Naruto overheard made his hands act of their own volition. "Only if we call it a date," the outgoing transfer cooed.

Suddenly, a strident shrill resounded through the expansive parlor as Guy and Lee exited the back room. The owner's eyes bugged out, and he screamed when he saw the ugly, giant scratch on his black counter.

* * *

Naruto rubbed his tired hands as he moved through the parking lot towards his car. He had just spent an hour polishing marble, trying to eradicate the white scratch he had accidentally created with the pizza cutter. Considering he could have cut his fingers instead, he supposed he was a tad fortunate. But his hands sure didn't feel that way.

What was really bothering him was the fact his friend was taking the most intoxicating woman ever on a date. Envy's substance oozed across his mind, and his lemon eyes narrowed at the thought of his best friend being with her. He shook those thoughts away after due consideration. He was being unfair. He should be happy for his roommate rather than wishing for what was obviously not his. Sakura was a human and not an object, anyways. Plus, he barely knew the girl. His affection was primarily focused around her physical features, so his envy was horribly misplaced.

Naruto opened the car door to his '75 Pinto and put his key in the ignition. The old, battered Ford started, and he drove to his favorite spot in town.

Guy's pizza parlor was only a three-minute drive from the university, and that meant it was a five-minute trip from the beach. When he reached his destination, Naruto parked his Pinto off the side of the road and exited the car. He then shuffled onto the sandy shore and gazed out upon the inky surf.

As the white-crested waves rolled before him, he wondered if it was right to feel his current emotions. His best friend liked a girl and he also happened to like her. There had been similar occurrences with the two boys in the past, but nothing to this degree. Whenever a pretty girl liked Sasuke, Naruto typically rolled his eyes and moved on with his life. Except this time, things were different.

Sakura was more important than any other girl this time around, more noteworthy. How could a girl he had met that day possibly be something like that to him? He had dated other girls in high school and had slept around with a few special ones over the years. There was even one girl during his senior year he had fallen in love with. In hindsight, Naruto was uncertain if what he had felt then was actually love, but that feeling paled in comparison to this rising sensation in him now.

Despite his feelings, his best friend was interested in her now, and there was little he could do about it. The most tragic part of it all was that Sasuke was, frankly, a player. He would most undoubtedly leave the poor girl with a broken heart and then she would not want to associate with either of the two boys from that point on. Naruto would then lose what little chance he could have with the woman, but he wasn't even sure as to what he would do with that chance if it was presented to him.

These confusing ideas bounced around and crashed with the waves. If what Naruto thought was love was actually not correct, then what was love? When Naruto acknowledged the question to be venerable and the answer to be eternally debated over, he supposed it wasn't going to be so easy to completely comprehend.

Naruto gritted his teeth when he finally took notice of the moon's reflection eerily painted on the sea. It was an immaculate sight, but he couldn't stop himself from comparing it to the beauty he had witnessed earlier. It was at that moment, he realized he might have an answer to that first question on his chuckled as the friendly tide drifted back and forth to tell its endless story, and with the stretch of his arms, Naruto felt the full force of the ocean breeze hit him. Long after he had left back to his dorm to finish his homework, the quiet sand continued to soak in the interminable onslaught of the waves.

* * *

 **Here it is! Honestly, this may be one of the most important pieces I will ever write. This tale is heavily inspired by the short stories of F. Scott Fitzgerald. The plans I have for this story transcend those I have for many others. Hopefully, you will all see the significance of that by the end. I know modern AU's kind of have a bad reputation on this site, but I believe the themes of this story surpass all of that. I'm really going to put my heart into this one. Of course, this work will not hinder my other stories in any way. I finish all my stories, after all.**

 **Please, let me know what you think of this story and anything else you wish to tell me in a review or PM. I hope this journey we all have together will prove to be insightful for everyone involved. Thank you.**

 **-CM**

 **P.S. This story is not connected to the events of any other stories I have written thus far in any way.**

 **Edited: 8/28/18**


	2. Innocent Hearts

Chapter 2: Innocent Hearts

" _We are fated to love one another; we hardly exist outside our love, we are just animals without it, with a birth and a death and constant fear between. Our love has lifted us up, out of the dreadfulness of merely living."  
_

 _-John Updike, Brazil_

* * *

"I think all my beliefs are true, and anyone who disagrees with me is wrong," Dr. Nara read from the words written on the whiteboard.

The class exchanged confused looks at each other because of their uncertainty. Most of them had no idea where their teacher was going with the odd sentence. Dr. Nara cleared his throat and addressed his class. "What are your immediate thoughts on this?"

There were some scattered murmurs and mumbles throughout the large classroom. In the back of the class, a hand was raised. A young man called out to the philosophy professor: "It sounds a little harsh."

There were some scattered nods and agreements among the students and Naruto rolled his eyes at their bewilderment. They were missing the point, he thought to himself as he sat in the far right corner of the classroom. Shikamaru's father was pretty good at showing people how callow and foolish they actually were.

"Does it?" Dr. Nara asked. "What makes it sound harsh?"

A girl in a tank top at the front of the room spoke up. "I think it's bigoted. It assumes that everyone is wrong and that sounds awfully unfair."

Another girl next to her, garbed in a pretty sundress nodded. "Yeah, just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean they're wrong."

Dr. Nara smirked a little at that and stared at the girl with incredulity. "Is that so? Well then, do you believe the world is flat?"

The girl appeared to be almost outraged as she was put on the spot. Naruto shook his head from the back as she answered: "Of course not! The world is round!"

Dr. Nara nodded as if he had never considered the idea before. "Yes, it would seem so. So you would find that belief of yours to be true?"

The girl scoffed. "It is true!"

Dr. Nara smiled. "So that would make anyone that disagrees with you on the subject wrong, yes?"

The girl's mouth was open, but she stopped herself and blinked. The confused expressions of the students slowly started to change as they comprehended the value in the written words. Naruto smirked as he saw his peers make sense of everything. He had been enrolled in a different class with Dr. Nara last semester and was familiar with this lesson.

Dr. Nara took advantage of the situation. "It's rather simple; we all believe these words in our minds, but we rarely say them aloud. They do not mean that you cannot obey reason and change your beliefs. If you change them because they were wrong, then they will no longer be true to you. The most foolish thing you could do, however, would be to hold to your beliefs after they have been proven wrong. Make sense?"

The class nodded as they critically thought about the truth behind their professor's words. Mr. Nara gave a satisfied grin. "Wonderful, now we can dialogue. So, anyone learn anything from their homework that they wish to discuss?"

A gorgeous, blonde girl in the middle of the classroom rose her hand. Naruto raised his eyebrow in curiosity at the girl. She seemed to be almost anxious to say something and was probably waiting to discuss what she had found. Naruto had heard her name at one point, but he had forgotten it. "Dr. Nara, I believe beauty to be relative, so your question about objective beauty confused me a little."

Shikaku Nara nodded slowly as he brought his rough hand up to scratch his goatee. "What's your name again, young lady?" Naruto felt a little relieved his professor had also forgotten her name too.

The young girl had a sweet tone to her voice when she answered. "Ino."

Dr. Nara smiled softly as his fingers brushed through his small patch of facial hair. "Ino. So, Ino, you believe beauty to be in the eye of the beholder?"

The blonde girl, Ino, nodded politely. "Yes, certain things are only beautiful to a specific person, therefore, beauty must be subjective."

Dr. Nara was no longer smiling, instead he seemed to be pensive. "Explain."

Ino scrunched her face a little. Naruto was leaning forward in his seat to catch a better glimpse of her. "When a husband tells his wife she is beautiful, he doesn't mean she's beautiful to everyone. She's beautiful to him, but not to everyone else."

Dr. Nara nodded and then tilted his head. "Tell me; if I say I like popsicles, does that mean everyone must like popsicles?"

Ino frowned in confusion. "Well, no. It's your belief you like popsicles."

Dr. Nara smiled. "Precisely. Just like we discovered that belief does not equate to truth because your beliefs can be false; the same goes for beauty. Beauty is a lot like truth, you see. I can have a different belief about a certain truth, but that doesn't make it objectively untrue. Truth is reality. I can believe the world is flat, but it isn't, no matter how much I wish it. So, beauty is like truth because something simply is beautiful. Something is not beautiful whether you do or do not believe it to be so. It does not matter if you think it's beautiful because it is without you having to say it is."

Ino's eyes sparkled as she let her mind wander around that revelation. The existential ramifications of what Dr. Nara was saying were being pulled and pushed through her head. A boy spoke out at that moment. "What about when I say a girl is beautiful and my friend thinks she's not?"

Dr. Nara shook his head. "You're simply using beautiful in the wrong way. It's not innately subjective and only seems that way when you limit it like that. According to the laws of thought, which you should all be studying for the quiz by the way, something cannot be both beautiful and not beautiful. Either, it is or it is not. That girl is either beautiful or not; you deciding whether she is or not does not ultimately decide that." The young man was dumbfounded by the simplicity of it all.

Naruto silently agreed with his professor. He had not heard this argument before in the last class he had with Shikamaru's father and was glad to have clarified it for himself. He still did not feel completely satisfied about the whole thing. He wanted to search for what was actually beautiful now and he wondered what that really looked like.

After everyone seemed fine with Dr. Nara's explanation, the dark-haired professor exhaled slowly. "All right. The quiz on the three laws of thought is next week. Just memorize them and you should be fine. Class dismissed."

The students packed their belongings and began to exit the classroom. Naruto stayed in his seat a little while longer than the rest to watch the girl named Ino leave with everyone else. There was something different about the young lady and he was not certain as to what it was. He deduced it to be an important notion, but to be handled at a later time. He then left the classroom with a better idea of truth and beauty.

* * *

The sun-kissed ocean was like a broken sapphire emulating the gold it had temporarily been encroached in. The sea breeze drifted over and cooled Naruto's brow as he ambled over to his dorm. He was glad it had cleared up since the morning and loved this time of year. The summer, ironically when compared to other parts of the country, typically consisted of overcast and a scant number of sunny days. But this time of year was when the clouds scattered away around the mid-morning and the rest of the day was left mild and pleasant.

After entering the large building and climbing the stairs to his floor, Naruto spanned the long hallway leading to his dorm room. The exact moment he had opened his door, a flurry of red warmth embraced him. A cheerful, excited voice rang in his ear as he returned the hug.

"Hi, Naruto! I've missed you!"

Naruto's smile crept upon his lips as his mother beamed at him. "Hi, Mom." Naruto noted the absence of the roommate and the fact that his mother was alone. "Where's Dad?"

Kushina Uzumaki took a step back from her son. "Your father was too busy with work to come this week. He said he'll be by next time, though! So, it's just you and me, my dear. Where would you like to eat?" The red-headed woman was wearing a nice yellow blouse and Naruto thought the contrast was fitting.

Naruto wanted to ask how she managed to get into his room without a key to the dorm building, but he knew her well enough not to ask. His mother and father would come by and buy him lunch every week. He was pretty grateful for their generosity. Naruto would never lie to the fact that he enjoyed spending time with his mother. She was probably the most important individual in his life and had seen him at his most vulnerable more than anyone else.

After some careful consideration, Naruto decided on something. "Burgers sound pretty good."

Kushina grabbed her son's hand and practically dragged him down the hall. They reached her little car and began their short drive to a popular burger joint a few blocks down the street.

During the drive, the peppy redhead looked to her son. "How were classes today, sweetheart?"

Naruto was gazing out the passenger window with a wistful expression, his mind grinding over the knowledge he had accumulated that day. "They were good, I guess. Philosophy was interesting. Math class sucked as usual. I swear that professor has no idea what he's doing. He messed up an equation today and everyone got upset with him."

Kushina frowned and nodded. "We're paying a lot of money to have you go there and learn. You should probably go talk to the dean about that professor."

Naruto shook his head. He did not point out to her that he was paying for most of the tuition in the first place. She had heard that one before. "It's fine, Mom. I know most of it, anyways. There's no need to raise a commotion."

Naruto's mother pursed her lips in reluctance. "Fine. But if matters get worse, you really should do something about it."

The blond gave his mother a soft smile. "OK, I'll do that, Mom."

Satisfied with that answer, Kushina parked into the lot right next to a small building with a giant plastic burger placed above its main entrance. They strolled into the main room of the little restaurant and made their orders to the employee at the register. They then took their seats in a red leather booth.

As the mother and son waited for their order, Kushina fixed her eyes on the blond. "How's Sasuke doing?"

Naruto took a sip from his soft drink before he answered his mother's casual query. "He's been all right. He says his classes are a breeze this semester. Work with him has been pretty good too."

Kushina's eyes had a careful glint to them. "Any girls in his life?"

Naruto smirked. His mother was always infinitely curious about other individual's love lives. The woman was never subtle about her interest nor thought she should be. "Actually, there is." After his mother's eyes lit up, he decided to humor her. "There's a very pretty girl he'll be taking to dinner tonight. We both made friends with her the other day." Naruto hoped his face would not betray him this time around.

Kushina kept her bright eyes fastened to her son, studying his expression. Naruto swallowed as he realized his hopes had probably not been manifested in the slightest way possible. His mother rarely kept her thoughts to herself, however, so he would know for certain soon enough.

"What do you think of her? Does she seem good for him?" Kushina asked.

His brow furrowed. "I don't know. Why are you asking me that? You know he doesn't date for relationships. Why does it matter if she's good for him or not?"

Kushina's voice was low. "I'm just asking. It doesn't really matter why. I just want to know."

Naruto averted his eyes from her for a second. "I guess. She seems really sweet."

"Is that how you would describe her?"

Naruto closed his eyes. She had figured it out and he should not have been surprised by her motherly perception. His mother knew him better than anyone, even his father and Sasuke paled in comparison to her skills. Mothers were scary, after all. "Yes, considering how little I know about her, I think I'd leave it there."

Their order was called from the counter. Kushina nodded and got up to get their food. When she returned, she focused her attention back on the topic at hand. "Is that the extent of your feelings for her?"

Naruto smirked with disbelief carved into his lips. "No, it's not."

His mother put a fry into her mouth and she smiled. "Good, so you like this girl that Sasuke also likes. Have you talked to him about it?"

Naruto scowled at the hypothetical notion. "No! Why would I? It's not something worth mixing him up with. It's my problem, so I should be the only one worrying about it."

Kushina's smile vanished as she chewed on a morsel of cheeseburger. "Are you saying Sasuke isn't involved?"

Naruto grabbed a fry and kept his frown. "Of course he is, Mom, but he doesn't need to concern himself with my feelings. Plus, it's obvious Sakura likes him."

Kushina moved her eyes up to the ceiling as she swallowed her food, until they came back down to her son. "Sakura, huh? Nice name." Her eyes dulled for a moment. "Are you satisfied with things being like this, sweetie?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

Kushina repeated with emphasis this time. "Are you satisfied with this? If you're willing to let their feelings reach one another without you doing so too, then nothing will proceed to your benefit. Are you satisfied with that?"

The blond felt his jaw tighten. His mother was right, as per usual. He had not asked himself if he could cope with knowing he could have done something when he ended up doing nothing. "No."

Naruto's mother brought a napkin up to her lips and wiped them elegantly. "So what will you do about it?"

The college student's eyes locked with his mother's. For a long moment, he did not answer, instead, he mulled over the question as if it was another math equation he had just encountered for the first time. He really did not like math. "I don't know, Mom."

Kushina said no more about the topic and they ate the rest of their meal with lighter conversation. Nonetheless, Naruto's thoughts were partially occupied with a problem he haphazardly deemed to be unsolvable.

* * *

Sakura applied some more lip gloss as she gazed into the image of herself created by the mirror. She closed her lips and allowed them to glide over each other, balancing the creamy material. Her date was in less than half an hour and she could feel her excitement surge through her body up to her glistening lips. It had been some time since she had last been on a date and she was long overdue for such a pleasant experience. The fact it was a date with a dashing, young man was not lost on her sharp mind.

Her apparel comprised of nice jeans and a wine-colored jacket over a white shirt. Her shoes matched her shirt and she had conditioned her hair nicely that morning; the strands felt soft against her freshly polished fingernails. Needless to say, she thought she looked pretty good and was feeling fairly confident in herself. Of course, there was rarely a time she was anything but.

Sakura's roommate stepped into their single room and she smiled at her. "How was work?" the pink-haired girl inquired. Her blonde roommate discarded her apron and dropped onto her bed. She buried her head in a pillow and screamed into it. Sakura smirked. "That bad, huh?"

Ino turned her head against the pillow and darted her pale-blue eyes up to her roommate. "It's just coffee, Sakura. Why do customers have to be such assholes over coffee?"

Sakura shrugged and walked over to her friend to rub her back supportively. They had only known each other less than a week, but had become fast friends. They were pretty compatible as far as roommates went as well. "I don't know, Ino. Some people are just innately terrible."

The blonde grumbled into her pillow. "I guess." She eyed her roommate's array. "Your date tonight?"

Sakura gave a wide smile. "Yep! Do you think Converse are OK?" she said as she pointed to her shoes.

Ino pursed her lips. "Yeah, I like your colors. You did a good job with your hair too."

Sakura beamed as she ran her fingers through her pink locks again. "Thanks! What are you going to do tonight, Ino?"

Sakura's roommate turned to lay with her back on the bed. "Probably binge a show or something."

The pink-haired girl roamed over to her purse to make sure she had everything for the night. "Aren't your parents up from LA? Why don't you go see them?"

Ino groaned as she fetched her laptop from her desk. "They're mainly up here to see my aunt. I'd rather not go see them tonight. I feel like that would just scream: 'I have nothing better to do, so I might as well see you guys.'"

Sakura grinned at her friend. "That would be the truth though, wouldn't it?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Please. I've heard enough about truth today." Ino stared at her roommate as she watched her fidget in her purse. "I wish I had a cute boy to hang out with. How'd you get so lucky?"

Sakura shrugged and placed her purse around her shoulder. "I'm not sure; guess I'm just hot."

Ino giggled and threw her pillow at her friend. Sakura brought her hands up to block it and giggled with the blonde. "Sure you are."

Sakura smiled as she checked herself in the mirror one last time. "You know; he has a roommate who's also super cute."

Sakura carefully kept an eye on Ino's reflection in the mirror as an interesting expression crossed over her fair features. Ino tried to feign disinterest. "Yeah? That's nice."

Sakura was not familiar with her roommate's antics yet, but she liked to think she knew girls well enough in general. "He's blond and sweet too."

Ino typed on her keyboard, but stopped for a moment when she heard her friend's comment. "Yeah, maybe. I'll have to meet him, I guess."

Sakura grinned as she opened the door to leave. "Yeah, you will. Have fun!" She left her room and swiftly walked out of the building. She reached her new Corolla that her father had bought for her and put her key in the ignition. Sasuke had told her to meet him downtown at a particular park. The drive over was pleasurable enough and she enjoyed the early night sky, dressed in millions of pale lights. When she reached the park, she found a parking spot and strutted over to the meeting place.

Sasuke was standing under a lonely lamppost, looking down at his phone. He was wearing a simple pair of chinos with a grey sweater layered over a collared shirt. As Sakura got closer to him, she noticed his desert boots and her lips curved at his intentional design.

He noted her presence when she was a few feet from him. "Nice shoes," she said as she observed a smirk appear on his face.

He began to walk past her. "Thanks. Nice jacket." He stopped and swiveled his head in her direction. "Are you coming?"

She smiled and followed alongside him. They reached a street corner and Sasuke pointed to a small restaurant with a colorful awning. "This place has some of the best food in town."

Sakura's eyes widened to indicate her excitement as they crossed the street towards the little building. Once inside, the couple asked for a table and took their respective seats across from each other when their request was dutifully granted. They were given some menus and time to skim over them as their waiter retired for the moment to aid some other guests.

Sakura read the pasta section of the menu and decided on a nice plate from there. Sasuke looked over his menu at her. "Would you like to play a little game?"

Sakura smiled wryly. "Only if we play for stakes."

Sasuke emulated her smile. "That can be arranged. All right, the game is simple: if you can guess what I am going to order, then I'll buy you dessert. If I can guess your order, then you owe me another date after this one."

Sakura leaned forward and latticed her fingers together. "Asking for a second date before the first one hasn't even begun? You are a bold one, Mr. Uchiha."

The raven-haired man showed some teeth through his smile. "That's what they tell me. So, are you in?"

Sakura pretended to think about it for a moment. "What happens if we both get our orders right?"

"Then we both win."

Sakura seemed satisfied by that. "All right. I'm down."

Sasuke leaned back in his chair and curled a finger under his chin. The pink-haired girl took a sip of water and she stared at him coolly. "You first, young lady," he stated.

She nodded and set her drink aside. "I bet you'll order the grilled salmon."

Sasuke's dark eyes widened slightly and that was the only indication he gave of his surprise. "I'm impressed. Dessert for you it is!"

Her eyes glimmered in the dimly lit ambience of the restaurant. "Your turn."

"The chicken alfredo?" he asked coolly.

Her jaw dropped and she let out a single chuckle. "No way. Now, I'm the one impressed. Your smooth attitude has won you two dates now."

Sasuke nodded and reveled in his victory. It was totally worth the cost of the dessert. "Believe me; this was simply good luck."

The waiter approached their table a few seconds later and they ordered their dishes with exchanged smiles between the two of them. They missed the intuitive smirk from the waiter as he went to have the chef prepare their food.

Sakura grabbed her water and before she took a sip from the glass, she asked: "How long have you and Naruto been working at that pizza place?"

The young man scratched his cheek. "About four years now. After all those years, we have quite the collection of stories."

Sakura allowed the water's moisture to coat her glossed lips. "I bet. Tell me one."

Sasuke flicked his eyes up as his mind grappled a good tale. "Let's see; most of them involve Naruto's absentmindedness. But I have the feeling you want one where I embarrassed myself, so I think I have just the one." He was aware of her amused expression as he relayed his story. "One time when we were doing some deep cleaning for the restaurant, I stumbled upon an SD card that someone had unfortunately misplaced."

"I remember Naruto commenting that there must have been porn on it and we laughed over that idea. We were both so curious that I got out my laptop and in my infinite wisdom, had the screen facing the rest of the store. Now, at this time, an elderly lady had walked in and approached the front. Sure enough, she walked in at the perfect time because she got to see a rather detailed, rather _risqué_ , photograph on my screen." He heard Sakura giggle and smiled with her. "She hit me so hard with her purse that I thought I was going to black out and then she stormed out of the store. Thankfully, Guy, my boss, was cleaning the back, so he never knew, but I have yet to see that woman again."

Sakura covered her open mouth with her hand as she found herself in a laughing fit. Sasuke chuckled too as the both of them enjoyed the light atmosphere. Sakura managed to stop laughing and said: "My, that _is_ embarrassing. That poor lady."

Sasuke showed mock outrage. "The lady? What about my face? That purse was studded with metal and it hurt!"

Sakura laughed again and Sasuke joined her. They laughed hard and when the knowing waiter brought over their food, he smiled at their enjoyment.

As the couple enjoyed their piquant dishes, Sakura took a moment to fully appreciate her date. She liked him. He was funny, charming, inviting, and was extremely attractive. She could end up seeing their relationship going rather far. He was the type of guy she had usually been attracted to, but had always been hard to find. The men in Japan were rarely unique and most seemed to be cut from the same cloth. Even the good looking ones did not have that much of a detailed personality. It took a long time to dig deep into their hearts and pull out their innate personas. She blamed the culture for that problem, though. America had shown her that she did not have to settle for those men and could explore around with more forthright males.

Sasuke stood out in his own way and she appreciated that about him. He left enough of himself open to entice the female mind, but also hid just enough for a girl to want to know more. She surmised that even after years of knowing the man, he would end up surprising you. She was positive he was not an expressive person on a regular basis, so for him to showcase so many smiles and laughs to her, made her feel special. His urbane impression thrilled her and she longed to see how he would surpass her wildest expectations.

They conversed over their meal some more and traded embarrassing stories back and forth. Sakura got her dessert in the form of a luscious cheesecake and almost squealed at the richness of the treat. By the end of the date, Sakura could safely say this was the most successful and intriguing date she had ever had the privilege of being on. She even told him that and he had returned the compliment with a suave grin.

They exited the quaint restaurant after their stomachs had been appeased and Sasuke turned to his date as they stood under the awning. "Would you like to visit a very special place of mine?"

Sakura's eyes darted in the direction of her vehicle and then she heard Sasuke's calm voice, forcing her to focus her eyes back. "Don't worry; it will only take a second and then I will drop you back off at your car."

She agreed and followed him to his car. He drove a sleek, black Cadillac and further impressed his date for the night. He typically did with the car. They took their seats in the classy vehicle and Sasuke put on some quiet, mid-tempo music from his phone. They had a simple conversation going as he drove her several minutes up the coast.

They curved up a hill and Sakura could see a mesmerizing view of the city and its twinkling lights. The low skyscrapers jutted their gold and black structures into the velvet night, contrasting mildly against the pearly glow of the stars. Sasuke parked along the curb and stepped out of the car. Sakura followed his example.

There was a thin rail around the ledge, overlooking the sea that crashed on the rocks far below. Sakura looked down and could barely make out the thin, faded lines of the tide's crest. To her left, the city sunk into the coast of the bay as the land they were on crept out farther into the ocean. The moon was hidden behind some clouds, so the night was hard to completely enjoy, but that did not stop Sakura from finding some joy in the experience. Although, her bliss did not really stem from the natural and artificial beauty around her.

She placed her hands on the railing and breathed in the saturated air of the ocean. Japan had the sea, of course, but it was not exactly the same as it was now. The western shore of Kyūshū was probably the closest place she could equate her current location to.

As Sakura felt the salty wind filter through her short hair, she felt Sasuke's hand on top of hers. Their eyes met suddenly. "Do you like it?" His simple question bounced around in her head longer than it should have.

"Yes, it's beautiful. The view of the city and the ocean are amazing. Do you come here often?"

Sasuke gazed out upon the sea's horizon. "As much as I am able. I come here when I need to reflect by myself, which is quite frequent."

At that moment, Sakura felt the wind cut through her light jacket and she instinctively buried her mass into Sasuke's chest. She suddenly realized what she was doing, but before she could retreat and apologize for her brashness, she sensed the presence of strong arms wrapping around her. Her first thought was that he had a peculiar scent that reminded her of thick autumn nights and tender tea leaves. She was not aware of how long they maintained that position and she quickly knew she never wanted it to end. Eventually, it did.

Later that night, he dropped her by her car and smiled at her from the driver's window. "I look forward to our next date. I will text you the details tomorrow."

She nodded. "OK."

She watched him drive away and felt the blood pump through her body and soar high into her head. She exhaled as she felt her face warm. She felt like a little girl with her first crush and could not imagine a happier moment. She tapped her feet up and down and hopped over to her car. When she got into her car and drove back to her dorm to give Ino an earful about the night, she regretted how she missed her opportunity to kiss him.

* * *

 **I'm feeling quite satisfied with this story and I hope you are all enjoying my humble creation. I really love romance in its simplicity and these first few chapters pertain to that really well. Of course, when the inevitable drama always hits, I typically love that too. I hope this chapter roused something in you guys, and I would love to hear about what those feelings are. Please, I really appreciate feedback and would be ever so grateful to hear what you all have to say. I'll see you all in the next chapter.**

 **-CM**


	3. The Early Surge

Chapter 3: The Early Surge

" _I had to touch you with my hands, I had to taste you with my tongue; one can't love and do nothing."  
_

 _-Graham Greene, The End of the Affair_

* * *

Ino attempted to focus on the swift speech of her friend, but that obstacle was becoming increasingly difficult to overcome. Sakura was currently telling her about another wonderful date with the deity named Sasuke Uchiha. The blonde took a sip from her iced coffee and allowed her roommate to guide her down the path of redemption that was Sakura's romantic interest. "And then when we were on the beach, he kissed me! I mean it was so picturesque, Ino!" Sakura's eyes were hazy and Ino felt her stomach churn sickly. "It was something straight from a romance novel. The tide was crashing gently and the moon was shining brightly on us and his lips were so smooth and firm…"

Ino dropped her cup and felt a rush of stomach acid surge to the back of her throat. The pleasant ambience of the quiet, little coffee shop did not seem to help her situation. "Are you serious right now? Do you have any idea how cliché you sound?" Ino did not mean for her tone to be so condescending, but then again, she did not really mind it _that_ much.

Sakura was rather unfazed by Ino's disinterest on the subject. "I didn't think I'd like the whole cheesy thing, to be honest, but Sasuke just makes it work."

Ino rested her chin on the back of her hand. "So, then is it official?"

Sakura's back posture straightened in her seat. "Well, no. We haven't exactly talked about what we are yet."

Ino's eyes widened and her attention was completely focused again. "Wait, you mean you guys haven't had a DTR? Are you kidding? It's been almost two weeks since you went on your first date! What the hell have you two been doing this whole time?"

Sakura waved her hand dismissively and did not seem to be troubled about the ordeal. "We've just been getting to know each other. We'll determine the relationship when the time's come, Ino. We've only just had our first kiss, after all."

Ino scrunched her eyes and stared in disbelief at her friend. "That's my point. You guys have been taking this whole thing way too seriously. Most people at this point would have decided where they want to be and settle on it."

Sakura had a defiant crease in her brow that Ino was becoming more and more aware of every day she lived with the woman. "This isn't some casual affair, Ino. I'm fairly confident this is much bigger than that and this is how Sasuke and I have decided to handle it, OK?"

Ino knew her advice was unsolicited and was just pushing Sakura into a corner at this point. She leaned into her chair and exhaled slowly. "OK, OK. I see where you're coming from. Sorry, I'm being a little unfair. It's just not how I would go about it, but that doesn't mean there's only one way to handle it, I guess."

Sakura smiled and nodded. "Exactly. Thank you." She took a sip of her cold brew. "By the way, have you thought more about my suggestion?"

Ino paused and recollected the suggestion her roommate was referring to. "Oh, you mean Sasuke's roommate? What about him?"

Sakura saw right through her and grinned with a glint in her emerald eye. "He's single and cute. What more could you want, Ino?"

The blonde felt like she had dug herself into a hole. She had just mildly chastised her friend for taking relationships too seriously and now she was getting internally flustered on the same subject. "All right, I'll think about it." Ino checked her watch and grabbed her work apron. Her gratitude for her work was never stronger than in that moment. "Well, my break's over. I should be done before seven and then we can go watch that movie, OK?"

Sakura blinked and her lips wrinkled in guilt. "Ah, sorry, Ino. Can we do a rain check on that movie? I kind of already have something planned with Sasuke tonight."

Ino did not show her disappointment, and instead she smiled at her friend. "OK, we'll watch it another time." She turned and walked across the lobby of the little café. As Ino moved around the other side of the counter and tied her apron on, she eyed her friend text on her phone. A few minutes later, Sakura left the shop and Ino felt a little hollow from her absence.

* * *

Naruto's chest heaved as he filtered air through his lungs. The early autumn sun radiated upon his shirtless frame as perspiration trickled down his body. He was ever thankful for the nice weather but at his current status, his debilitation easily exceeded his gratitude. Naruto's hands clutched his knees to lean his weight forward and stabilize his exhausted condition. He turned his head to his side as a much more composed Sasuke approached him with a water bottle. Naruto quickly snatched the living liquid and he drank from the bottle heartily.

Sasuke smirked at his friend's state. "Try not to drink too fast."

Naruto inhaled after the bottle left his lips and he wiped his mouth. "My lungs are killing me! When the hell does this get easier?"

Sasuke took a quick swig from his own bottle. "Give it another two weeks or so. At that point, you won't feel like complete shit, but it doesn't become easy until about two months in. Even then, you can still push yourself until you collapse since you'll just be able to handle more."

Naruto leaned on his knees again and made a breezy sound from his mouth. There was a rigidity in his eyes suddenly and they sharpened with a resolve that laced the rigid structure founded in them. The blond stood up to his full height and gritted his teeth. "All right. So another mile then?"

Sasuke shook his head in admiration. His best friend had an affinity for overcoming challenges. His will was more than admirable and Sasuke had always been in awe of Naruto's capabilities. He was a little surprised when Naruto had asked him to accompany him on his daily runs, wondering if there was an underlying motive behind the request. While he was still uncertain as to why Naruto had asked to run, seeing his determination for breaking through his current limits was a pretty standard practice for the blond. If anything, Sasuke was astounded Naruto had not asked sooner.

The two roommates ran one more mile around the campus until they reached their dormitory building and the late afternoon covered the sky. Naruto's lungs, by that point, were deflated bags of dry dust and he was struggling to stand upright. When the blond student stared at the familiar stairs leading up to their floor, his legs quivered feebly at thinking about the inevitable pain. But, in the end, he managed to conquer his fatigue enough to get to the room.

Naruto toppled into his bed as he saw Sasuke begin to undress from his sullied clothes. Naruto glared at him with contempt. "You're enjoying this, aren't ya?"

Sasuke blinked and feigned innocence. "Why on earth would I? My best friend is suffering and you think I would enjoy watching him in such a pitiful state while I'm perfectly fine?"

Naruto did not buy it. "You're a piece of shit, you know that?"

Sasuke chuckled at that and Naruto joined in for a second. The dark-haired roommate pulled out his phone a second later and texted something on it. "Hey, make yourself decent. Sakura's going to stop by anytime now and I need to shower really quick. Could you keep her company while she waits for me?"

Naruto's demeanor changed then. His eyes dulled a bit and his mouth loosened. He averted his gaze from his friend as he felt a dense matter slide around in his chest. That was the last thing he wanted. The last two weeks had been difficult for the blond as he watched a girl he admired and his best friend grow closer without his presence in it at all. The odd part was that it was so unnatural. It was rare for Sasuke to be so fixated on a woman before and for him to be actually committed to her. The cold reality of his roommate actually having genuine affections for Sakura was not lost on the blond and he never wished more for ignorance. There were mixed feelings swimming about on the subject, and they were beginning to thicken and form a repugnant glaze brimming with resentment. Naruto did not look at his roommate when he answered him. "Sure, no problem."

Sasuke nodded his thanks and stepped into their little bathroom as he texted on his phone. The scant minutes before Sakura knocked on the door were laden with unnerving thoughts. Naruto put on a t-shirt before he answered the door. When he opened the door, the dense matter coagulated and weighed heavy in his stomach.

She looked beautiful.

She was wearing a loose, colored jacket with some leggings and Naruto was fascinated by how he could be so enraptured by such a simple outfit. Of course, the clothes were merely a tool for her beauty, accentuating her frame and natural refinement.

"Hi, Naruto!" she chimed.

Naruto sensed his throat dry up as he breathed in her pulchritude and charm. "Hi." He stepped over to the side of the doorway to let her in.

Sakura glided into the room, her blossom-colored hair flitting with her movements. This was the first time she had been in the boys' room and she swiftly took note of her surroundings. Her eyes focused on Naruto after her quick survey and the blond lost all moisture in his body at her gaze. "Kind of bare, isn't it? There's so much wall space!"

For some unknown reason, Naruto managed to summon some confidence for the situation. "Well, yeah. Do we look like interior decorators to you?"

Sakura blinked at the sardonic retort. She was certainly not expecting that response from the man. Oddly, neither was he. She further surprised both parties by giggling. Naruto's eyes widened as he heard the sweet, innocent sound of her suppressed laughter. "No, I don't suppose you do," she breathed out in between her snickering. "Sorry."

Naruto smiled. "On the other hand, you've got a point. I'll tell ya what, I'll go buy some posters soon and spruce the place up a little."

Sakura returned the smile. "Sounds good. I'm sure Sasuke will appreciate it." Noticing the implication from her recent statement, Sakura looked at the door leading to the bathroom with the soft sounds of falling water emitting from it. "Speaking of which, he's showering, right?"

Naruto nodded and lumbered over to his desk. He gestured his hand over to Sasuke's chair on the opposite side of the modest room. "Yeah, and he usually takes forever in there. You should probably take a seat because you might be here a while."

Sakura smirked at that and took the proposition happily. "Thanks. So what have you two been up to today?"

Naruto clicked his tongue and tried to ignore the aridity that seemed to have moved from his throat to his lips. "We just got done running and before that, we had mostly been getting some homework done."

"I see," Sakura commented. "Do you like running, Naruto?"

The blond allowed the thankfulness for her interest in him swell some moisture back to his lips. "Not currently, but I think I will soon. I just got to push through the initial pain first, and then I can probably say I enjoy it." He shrugged and could not understand how calm he was being in front of such a captivating woman. He knew she was probably just being nice, but that fact only heightened his interest in her. She had a kind and empathetic demeanor that was almost impossible to not admire.

Sakura grinned. "That's good. It's always good to push yourself. I feel the same way about my classes. Some of them are a little rough, but I think they're starting to grow on me."

Naruto leaned forward in his chair. "Are they hard?"

"Not really. It's just the content can be a little dry sometimes."

"How's the homework?"

Sakura tapped her lips with her index finger and her eyes drifted up to the ceiling in casual thought. "Not too bad. I typically get my assignments done upfront, so I don't have to worry about them."

Naruto nodded with a grin. "Wow, that's rare! I've been trying to do that but years of putting off work can be a hard habit to shake away."

Sakura smirked wryly. "I'm not surprised. You definitely don't seem like the intelligent type, Naruto."

The young man actually felt his jaw loosen in bewilderment at her jab. This girl was an anomaly, he told himself. He formed an impish smirk. "Don't you think you're jumping the gun a bit? You shouldn't underestimate someone, ya know?"

Sakura gave a smug expression. "Oh? Good to know. I'll be sure to remember that the next time I hurt someone's poor ego. Of course, the truth typically leaves scars."

Naruto's smirk widened to form a long smile. Who the hell was this woman? They barely knew each other, and yet here she was engaging with him so casually. He was becoming addicted to her natural charisma. "Believe me; I've got plenty of scars."

"I'm sure you do."

There was a lightness in her lips that made Naruto feel like he was floating. "Tell me: is this how you usually treat someone who has invited you into their home?"

Her response was swift. "Only when it's easy."

"And you think I'm easy?"

"Oh Naruto, if I thought you were complicated, I would be treating you with more respect."

"Do I need respect?" he asked. This was not good, he thought. He was starting to make a connection to her. She was building some aching hope in his soul and he knew it was corrosive to the stone walls he had erected there.

"I'm not sure," she stated. "I haven't really thought about it.

Naruto laughed., trying to cling to the false hope and neglecting his impending fate. "Are you implying I'm not even worth thinking about?"

Sakura laughed too. "If that's what you wish to infer, then maybe. But that doesn't seem funny or whimsical to me, so I wouldn't take it that far."

Naruto scratched his cheek and allowed the cheekiness of the banter to ebb away. It was not often he got to speak with someone so bright and aware. He also noticed a hidden temper with her wit and pondered what that would look like if set free. "I'm glad you know when to stop."

At that moment, Sakura laughed again with vigor. "I'm sorry! Sometimes I take my sass too far." Her tongue poked out from her teeth. "I've lost quite a few friends in the past because they didn't understand I was joking. Most of it had to do with the Japanese culture, but a large part of it was because I did it too often with people that didn't really understand me enough yet. It was particularly troublesome for me in middle school."

Naruto nodded with fervor. "Well, middle school was terrible for everyone. Everyone hated themselves and each other. Even the popular kids thought their lives were shitty."

Sakura giggled. "Getting them ready for adult life, it seems."

They both laughed uncontrollably at that. For one perfect moment, Naruto felt refreshed. The mirth of it all bubbled over the denseness in his stomach and forced it to wither from existence. Naruto enjoyed it all so much that when Sasuke stepped out from the bathroom with his hair wet and garbed in the nice clothes he had just changed into; the blond was left completely unaware of his presence.

Sasuke's voice cut through the laughter. "What's so funny?"

Sakura stopped her laughing and beamed up at her love interest. "Oh, hi, Sasuke! It was nothing. You ready?"

Sasuke smiled softly and brandished his open arm. "Yep, let's go."

Sakura stood up from her seat and interlocked her arm with his. Before they left, they both turned to Naruto and said their good-byes. Naruto waved to them as they made their exit, feeling the lonely atmosphere sink in when the door closed behind them. The previous refreshment of the earlier moment had eradicated the dense matter, but now Naruto felt something worse. A thin wisp of nothingness was located there now and he yearned for something, anything, to fill it. He was left hollow and he ruminated on the thought of anyone else ever knowing the feeling too. If they claimed it was as bad for them as it was for him, he would have called them a liar.

* * *

There has always been something rather odd about hollowness. To most people, it is a conglomerate concept to define or identify, and yet when in its most concentrated form; it becomes pure and solid to the bearer. It is as if the reality of the negative situation shrunk from an implosion and all positivity, if there ever was any, about that very situation disappears. Typically, all that is left afterwards is a numbed, throbbing impression. The hollow feeling normally dulls after that and becomes a fleeting memory that makes the bearer question its once potent presence.

Often, hollowness is equated with loneliness and many individuals have debated over the nature of its complexity. The truest characteristic of hollowness, however, is not congruent with the direct nature of loneliness. Hollowness is a hard, exhausting power that leaks and mourns its own existence. It contorts and morphs into what it needs to be, only for it to fall short and somehow still linger for great spans of time. Truly, hollowness is a pitiful and cruel sensation.

Ino could not have agreed more with that fact.

The young blonde stared at her laptop screen with a strong sense of cogitation, her philosophy homework forgotten. Her stomach was idle and her head was full. Was she overthinking all of this? It was not like Sakura was doing anything wrong. Ino did not bear any malcontent towards her roommate and was simply uncertain about what she should do to alleviate her current state. She wondered if it was even wrong to feel the way she did. If it was not, then why did she feel so unstable? She supposed brooding over her circumstances was probably not in her best interest and she decided to settle on that safe premonition.

Considering it was the weekend, the student life building was quiet with a few students roaming around its free space. Ino was seated at a little table in a far, tranquil corner of the upper story of the building. The blonde enjoyed many different environments. She could thrive at parties, one-on-one chats, intimate groups, parents, peers, and solitary situations; but there was one circumstance where her social prowess suffered: destitution. She had decided to work alone in her little corner that evening, but she desperately yearned for company. She wanted some form of intimate companionship. It was for no founded reason, but if she was being honest with herself, she knew she wanted someone to convey her feelings to. She wanted to be understood with intimacy and there was no one around to fulfill her request.

The curious part about Ino's situation was she did not want to ask anyone to give her some company. Because if she was to ask, then she would be openly identifying her problem which was extremely repulsive to her. She did not wish to sift through those problems then, and to do so would mean starting a protracted journey of unforeseen conclusions. It was not a journey she wanted to venture alone.

She felt her musings were miserably frivolous. Here she was: upset with grief because of her friend's absence and now she was moping around by herself. This was not her and it, frankly, felt pathetic. But this was her reality. It was how she actually felt and the sooner she realized that, the sooner she could probably settle it for herself. Unfortunately, courage was an arduous concept because it relied on action. All the knowledge in the world merely supported courage, but could not accurately define its nature. Ino knew this and fear gripped her heart. Courage was unattainable then and she was fine with that.

Although, another man was not.

Ino first spotted him on the other side of the wide room in between some computer monitors. He was standing still with a book, his ocean-blue eyes skimming its pages with increasing annoyance. His clear frustration resonated somewhere in Ino and she thought he looked familiar. She leaned forward over her screen to peek at him from afar. He flipped a page, scanned it, then sighed. He closed the book and casually looked in Ino's direction. Her eyes darted back to her screen where she prayed she had not been caught staring.

Out of the corner of her eye, Ino observed his tall frame wander across the room towards her. She felt her heartbeat race with the embarrassing thought of being discovered. She tried to tell herself it was perfectly normal to watch people, so she had done nothing wrong. Before he reached her, she had already convinced herself she was justified in her actions and was ready to retort on any critical comment he may make. Luckily for her, it never came to that.

"Hey," he greeted as he stood on the opposite side of the little table.

Ino soothed her emotions quickly and shoved everything down to appear as nonchalant as possible. "Hi. Can I help you?" She cringed on the inside because she knew her tone was sharper than she had intended. But, remarkably, the blond man gave no visible indication of being bothered by it.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I think we're in the same philosophy class together. Is Dr. Nara your professor?"

Ino suddenly felt rather nonsensical because of her earlier assumptions. "Yes, he is. Let me guess: you have a question about the essay?"

He nodded with a sheepish grin. Ino suddenly felt comfortable by seeing that grin. "Yeah, do you think you could help me out? I'm trying to find a good resource to use for research on Boethius' _The Consolation of Philosophy._ " He held up the thin book he had been reading from earlier. "But this one doesn't cover what we need."

Ino held out her hand. "Sure. Let me see it." He gave her the book and she quickly scanned the cover. She had a hypothesis concerning his problem from that and after a hasty glimpse at the first few pages, she reached her conclusion. She shut the book and shot him a friendly grin. "This book is mostly about Boethius' translations on Aristotle's works and barely covers _The Consolation of Philosophy._ " She began to type something on her laptop. "If you give me your email address, I can send you a link that covers pretty much everything we need for the essay."

He smiled with relief. "Sure! Thanks!"

Ino's voice sounded airy when it left her lips. "No problem." He gave her his email and she swiftly sent the link to him.

When his phone vibrated to indicate he got the link, he grinned brightly at her. "You really saved my ass! I really appreciate this."

Ino smiled sweetly. "I'm happy to help." She paused as she realized an important pleasantry she missed. "My name's Ino, by the way." She stretched out her hand.

The young man grasped her hand and shook it politely. "I'm Naruto. Pleased to meet you."

Ino straightened in her seat. "You're Japanese?"

"Yeah. You?"

Ino nodded. "My father is. My mother's from Norway, though."

Naruto tilted his head with curiosity. "So you're not a local?"

Ino ran a hand through her long hair. "No. I'm actually from the East Coast, but I have some family in LA."

"And you're a freshman?"

Ino took a scant moment to subtly check the blond's frame. He did not seem to be much older than her, if it all, and his laughing blue eyes divulged a large quantity of vitality in the young man. His physique was tall and wiry, like a limber willow capable of moving with the flow of disaster. When Naruto's eyebrow lifted to signify she was taking a little too long to answer, she spoke in a slightly rushed manner. "Yes! I moved here just over a month ago."

Naruto's eyebrow dropped back to its neutral state. "So you're still pretty new to the area?"

Ino side glanced and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. I got a job at a coffee shop downtown really quickly from the get-go, so I know the basic layout."

The blond man grabbed a chair next to him and sat down. Ino was only slightly surprised he did not ask for permission to do so, but something told her he was not a man that was mindful of such behavior. "That's good," he said. "I've been here my whole life, so if you ever need to know where anything is, let me know and I'll help ya."

Ino smiled at that gesture. Normally, when men said something like that to a new woman, it probably involved attraction or some trace of ulterior motive. But there was a healthy glow in the blond's eyes that conceded a genuine expression of altruism and Ino knew how rare that was. "Thank you. I may take you up on that sometime."

Naruto blinked. He was not expecting such sincere consideration on the matter but was left pleasantly surprised by the young woman's candor. "Cool."

Ino remembered some tips she had once read online about keeping conversations interesting. The fact she was relying on those at this moment made her brain scream at her, but she was rather skilled at silencing her mind when it was being nettlesome. "What's it like living here, Naruto? What kind of memories do you have of this city?"

Naruto's eyes lit up at the question. Ino could almost see the pleasant memories flood there in his orbs before he could even confess them aloud. "Well, it's a great place! I have a lot of memories of the ocean and the people here. There was one time where…"

Ino allowed herself to concentrate on his words and drift away into his happy stories. She discovered he was a fantastic story teller, entertaining her with ludicrous pranks and jokes in his youth. He spoke of fun weekends and sandy nights on the beach; of stories rich with green things and adventurous escapades suffused with wonder and risk. By the time he was finished, Ino felt as if she had experienced all of the wonderful memories herself. Not once during Naruto's talking was she bored or disinterested. To put it simply, she could have listened to him all night long; her imagination forever swimming in the images he illustrated for her.

Ino realized her eyes must have been closed during his spiel because when she opened them, he was silent and staring straight ahead. There was a protracted moment of reticence between the two of them. They both thought of some other matter or thing to discuss, but they were both having difficulty focusing. The moment dragged on with both parties feeling the awkward tension rise steadily. Finally, Naruto grabbed hold of something and questioned himself for many years to come because of the ramifications of what he said. "So why are you all alone out here?"

For one extremely small second, Naruto witnessed something flash across the blonde's pale blue eyes. It was something that revealed an emptiness Naruto could empathize with, and the only reason he could remember such a quick moment from ever happening in the first place was because of that lingering empathy. But the moment passed and Ino's cheery smile replaced any negative connotation. "I just wanted to get this essay done. I don't work very well unless I'm by myself, I guess. Other people distract me easily."

Naruto's brow lowered in slight concern for the earlier flash, but he picked up on the fact that it was probably better not to dwell on it. If he was only a few years younger and back in his bolder days, he would have thrown basic civilities aside and blurted out a strong: 'The hell was that?' but he refrained from doing so. Still, the whole incident made him rather curious. "Yeah, I can relate."

Ino wanted to believe something when she heard that. She wanted to believe he actually could relate with what was reallygoing on and due to some unfathomable reason, she somehow _knew_ he did. She could feel his innate, intentional manner and decided to hope for what must have been impossible. He could not read her mind and she was aware of that. But the way his eyes focused in and his jaw loosened like some withering cloud, gave her some piece of mind.

Ino wondered if she should add something to the conversation but before she could make a decision, Naruto beat her to it. "Do you ever feel alone?"

Ino blinked. No fucking way, she thought. The blond quickly tried to rectify himself after noticing her obvious perplexity. "Sorry, I know that's kind of out of the blue, but I'm just curious."

The young woman had managed to allow the initial shock to pass by enough for her to respond. "Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody?" She knew that was a weak answer, but she certainly was not going to be vulnerable to this man; even though she knew there would be no fault in doing so.

Naruto pursed his lips and glanced up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I guess. But that doesn't mean it should be treated as something small, right? I mean it's a huge deal, right?"

Ino gave him a quizzical expression. "What do you mean?"

Naruto scrunched his features, analyzing the truth of his thoughts. "I'm not talking about that feeling where you wish someone was with you or you are by yourself and want some company because you can feel lonely in a crowd." His eyes softened and the tone in the surrounding air lowered. "No, I'm talking about that feeling where you believe people don't care about you as much as they actually do. It's like when a person cancels an appointment and you think it was because they didn't like you, but it turns out they were just busy with something else. It's like a gnawing feeling in your chest that reminds you of your own self-pity. I think that feeling is true loneliness."

Ino did not think she could be more astounded by this man, but he was quickly exceeding her expectations. The words escaped her lips before she could fully register what she was saying. "Do you have people in your life like that?"

Naruto nodded slowly. "Yes. Everybody does and it's for that reason why it's a big deal. We should all be aware of loneliness and stop ourselves from thinking about it so much. I mean it's just self-deprecating. I don't want to be so angsty and depressed to where I miss anything, you know?"

Ino could not believe this guy. She had never heard of someone being so self-aware and so honest about their findings. The other notion pertaining to the knowledge that they had just met that evening was also rather apparent to the blonde. It was so bizarre and against normal standards that she found herself drawn to it. She wanted to find some answers to these questions that kept popping up in her head. "Then do you think it's wrong to have those emotions, Naruto?"

The young man thought about that for a moment. "No, I wouldn't say that. It's fine to feel like that, but when your emotions begin to control you and prevent you from reaching your true potential, I would call that a waste."

Ino nodded and leaned back in her chair. "I think I agree."

Naruto beamed at her and she started to question if the room had actually brightened from the gesture. The blond man sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Good. Sorry, I just laid all that on you like that. I sometimes do that to people. I hope you don't hold it against me."

Ino smiled tenderly at him and shook her head. "No, I would never. Thanks. I think I needed to hear all that."

Naruto laughed with relief and slapped his palms onto his thighs. "Awesome! I'm glad I could help then. Consider it a thanks for the link you sent me."

"OK, I will," Ino added with light inflection.

Naruto stood up then and stretched out his arms above his head. "All right. I should probably go start writing now that I have some resources. It was nice talking to you. Hopefully, I'll see you around."

Ino showed her teeth in the next smile she gifted to him. "Hopefully."

"Bye, Ino," he said as he shuffled away from the table.

"Bye." She watched him exit the large room and she realized something. There was a smooth matter placed in the emptiness that was now no longer empty. She knew it was a temporary feeling, but that did not stop her from relishing its existence. Maybe her current sensation of being filled was made sweeter because of her earlier hollowness, but it was probably better for her to not worry about such things.

* * *

 **Now that I've finished my other story, I can now focus completely on this piece. I love being able to express myself like this, and I would love to hear what all of you guys have to say about it. So please, tell me your thoughts. It helps me a lot to know how I'm doing and I think there is a lot of mutual benefit behind reviewing stories. Thank you all for reading. I'll see you guys in the next chapter.**

 **-CM**


	4. Numbing Scales

Chapter 4: Numbing Scales

" _I don't want your body  
But I hate to think about you with somebody else.  
Our love has gone cold.  
You're intertwining your soul with somebody else."_

 _-The 1975_

* * *

Sasuke and Sakura were officially a couple now and Naruto was not happy about it.

Fate seemed to further the blond's ire that next morning after he heard the news, when he stubbed his toe on his bedframe. His aching body was sprawled on the floor for several minutes, his toe throbbing with agony as he clutched it tenderly.

Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth and gazed down at his friend as he brushed his teeth nonchalantly. "You alright?" he asked as he spit into a cup.

Naruto glowered up at him. "No, I'm not." He paused to wonder if he should actually say what he was feeling. It was not a very long pause. "What the hell are you doing?"

Sasuke gave his roommate a puzzled expression. "What are you talking about?"

The blond sat up and ignored the pain in his foot. "Why are you going out with Sakura?" This was not how Naruto had planned this conversation would go. The day before he had tried to figure out how exactly he was going to express his troubles about the relationship, but somehow he knew those were all going to be discarded when the time would come. He had so many mixed emotions about the official relationship that he really needed to discuss this, otherwise his hesitation would surely manifest itself into something unhealthy. Naruto knew he could tell or ask Sasuke anything, but this particular topic was definitely hard to swallow.

Sasuke looked at Naruto coolly. "I like her."

Naruto's jaw dropped slightly. "You've never _liked_ a girl before. You've only ever been interested."

Sasuke shrugged, his face as stoic as ever. "Is there anything wrong with starting now?"

"For as long as I've known you, you've never once suggested you have wanted to commit to a relationship before."

Sasuke nodded. "You are correct."

Naruto threw up his hands in indignation. "So, why now?!"

Sasuke sighed as he walked to the sink to rinse his mouth. From the sink, he calmly muttered: "I like her. I've decided that she is worth committing to."

Naruto got to his feet and stood in the doorway. His face was contorted into a combination of furor and confusion. "So you're telling me you were never actually turned off by the idea of commitment? You were just waiting around for the right woman?"

Sasuke wiped his mouth and turned around to face his friend. His eyes lit up with a form of fervor Naruto was unfamiliar with. "Yes."

The blond man wanted to do two actions then: he wanted to shake his friend and tell him to wake up, but he also wanted to punch and mangle him in a jealous rage for taking the woman he liked as well.

Of course, Naruto did neither of those things. His friendship with Sasuke was surely stronger than his affections for some girl.

Surely.

Sasuke stepped past the blond and searched the closet they shared on the other side of the room for a shirt to wear. "We're going to go to the coast and check out some of the shops tonight. You're welcome to join us if you want."

Naruto turned and stared directly at his best friend. Sasuke matched his gaze and for a scant moment, both of them understood each other. Naruto felt a knot tighten in his stomach and broke eye contact. "I'll pass," the blond said.

Sasuke nodded and dressed himself quickly. Without saying another word, the dark-haired roommate left the dorm and Naruto was alone to sink into his brooding.

The reality of his predicament settled around him, drifting across the consciousness of his emotion. He could not have her now and any hope of that was gone. Naruto considered himself to be a rather accepting person. He knew, in most cases, he was able to understand and affirm what the world gave him. But this time the hollowness pushed forward and left him on a close edge of bitterness.

Naruto could not accept this easily. He knew he would inevitably cope with the objectivity of his problem and probably move on with his life. He would continue bettering himself through exercise and his studies. He could work for his future and enjoy what happiness he could find and cherish. He would probably find another girl and fall in love with her. He would surely live a decent life.

But he would not be with Sakura.

This was going to be painful.

* * *

Sasuke had never feared commitment and had typically viewed it as something so grand that it had to be valued beyond so many other principles. Because of this view, he was more than happy to have used its pure intentions on the woman he greatly admired. Her charm was unlike anything he had ever encountered and the simple observations of her were enough to expand into emerald landscapes of fascination.

The young man understood the finer intricacies of infatuation but to actually experience its effects was something else entirely. His background knowledge had tried to prepare him for the emotional onslaught, but it was surely not ready for Sakura Haruno. Because every time the young lady smiled at him, pecked his cheek, asked about his day, or showed any form of affection towards him whatsoever; Sasuke would reel back from the potency of the new sensations.

Sasuke had known women, but he did not know charm. He had known how to be romantic, but he did not know romance. A new awakening raced forth and spiraled into his soul. Emotion was not something he was accustomed to, but he was starting to enjoy it because Sakura just kept giving it to him. No woman had ever found out who he was or showed him who they were and this strange, pink-haired transfer was doing just that.

Sasuke knew bliss.

The beach was alive that weekend with roaming throngs of people. Happy families and cheery couples aligned the coast and moved through the jubilant streets. On one of the sandy corners, stood a quaint, little taco shop that was rather popular with the locals. Sasuke and Sakura were situated at a nice, shady table on the outside of the shop, overlooking the sunbaked sand and the intimate waves.

Sasuke had ordered his fill of three fish tacos, but the ever-incorrigible, pink-haired girl decided to get six. She was currently inhaling her fourth helping and Sasuke was trying hard not to laugh at the spectacle. Even when she was stuffing her face, Sasuke thought she appeared to be beautiful.

She eyed him staring at her. "It's hard to eat with you staring at me, you know?"

Sasuke shook his head in a slight sense of mirth. "Sorry, but can you really blame me?"

Sakura smiled as she took a huge bite from her taco. "I suppose not." She finished her taco and reached for another one. "So how's Naruto doing?"

Sasuke leaned back in his chair. "He's all right. He seems to be having his own problems of late, but nothing to be worried about. He'll be fine." Sasuke had his suspicions about Naruto's feelings for Sakura, but he trusted his best friend. Naruto was far too loyal to ever betray those he cared about. The man just needed time to organize his emotions. Of course, Sakura did not need to know about these little details.

"He's such a great guy," Sakura mused. "Any girl would be really lucky to have him. I'm trying hard to set him up with Ino. It turns out they actually met a week or two ago. Ino told me about how they talked for a while and realized they share a class. I decided to keep the little fact that he's your roommate from her though. She doesn't even know that's the guy I've been trying to set her up with."

Sasuke scratched his cheek absentmindedly. He decided not to jump on the bait she set up for him. "I see. It sounds like they'll work it out themselves then."

Sakura shook her head in a vigorous manner. "No, they won't. They haven't talked to each other since then. Ino never even got his number. I'm surprised Naruto isn't more courageous about the whole thing, to be honest. I figured he would have asked her out by now."

Sasuke's tone had a certain level of interest. "He might be intimidated by her or something." Again, Sasuke had his own assumptions.

"Well, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to do anything about it either. I'm really at a loss about all of it."

Sasuke extended his hand out a bit as he picked up a taco with his other hand. "Perhaps, we can give them a little push?"

Sasuke had already taken a bite of his taco when he saw the sheer amount of joy in his girlfriend's eyes. He almost choked to death. "You're right!" she exclaimed. "We should invite them on one of our dates! I'm pretty sure Ino is off work tomorrow night. Is Naruto working then?"

The dark-haired student was smacking his chest as he coughed out pieces of meat and tortilla. "Um, I don't believe so."

"Great! We'll go to the pier then! All four of us! We won't even tell them the other is coming just so they won't think it's a date."

Sasuke was made incredulous by that comment. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Do you have a better one?"

"No."

Sakura quickly grabbed another taco. "It's settled then." She finished the last of her food quickly after that.

And with that, the topic of Naruto and Ino would be put off to the side for a later time. They focused on each other and the scalloped shores next to them, hoping their own destinies could obtain such intimacy.

* * *

Minato found himself wrapped in one of those odd, wonderful shades of reality where elation was almost physical, as if a man could reach out and touch it. His son was visiting his parents, and Kushina was in the kitchen cooking for the three of them. He would have loved for such an event to be more common in his household, but he surmised it may not have been nearly as lovely of a moment then. After all, the rarity of it all made the visits far richer.

Although Minato was ecstatic at having his son over, he noticed there was something troubling Naruto. His son's eyes were busy with another matter as he spoke to Minato about his classes. He had heard from Kushina that Naruto was having some girl problems, but this appeared to be more complex than what she had initially suggested. Minato wished to get to the bottom of it as fast as possible, but he had learned patience was best in these kinds of situations. Much like his wife, he enjoyed cracking a person slowly to reveal what they were hiding. But he simply preferred to perform it in a much subtler manner.

Kushina was humming away in the kitchen as she made Naruto's favorite dish: ramen. No one on the face of the planet could make ramen like Naruto's mother could. The blond student had never been to Japan, so he had never tried any of the world-renown chefs' cuisine. But he assumed whatever amazing concoctions they could create were nowhere close to what his mother was capable of producing. It took the sacrificial woman almost an entire day to prepare the special dish, but she certainly did not mind making her son happy.

His mother had a lot of love to give.

Naruto grabbed a carrot from the small vegetable tray his mother had placed at the center of their dinner table. He had the day off and rather than wasting away in his dorm room, he decided to make the short commute over to his parents' house. Needless to say, he was glad he did.

Minato saw his son turn his head and look at him from his seat across from him. "Dad," he said. "I'm having some girl problems."

Minato could almost feel the relief flood over him.

Give it to his son to be the kind of man who would not skirt around the tougher issues. The young man typically tried to settle most matters by himself, but every now and then, he would request some aid from those whom he trusted. Minato took full advantage of the fortunate situation. "Are you now?"

Naruto nodded with a great crease carved into his brow. "Yes. See, Sasuke is dating this one girl I like and there's this other girl in one of my classes who's been on my mind lately."

Minato did not bother to tell him how he already knew all that information. It would be more edifying for his son this way. "Really? That sounds really difficult."

Naruto sighed. "It is. It's driving me crazy and I'm not sure what to do about any of it."

Minato empathized with his son. The worst thing he could do would be to brush aside his son's problems. To the older man's life, such an issue would seem rather fickle in nature to him when he added his own past into the equation. But that would lessen his son's predicament. That would show how little sensitivity he bore for his offspring and that was surely the last act he wanted Naruto to suffer through. "Well, what choices do you have?"

Naruto blinked and pointed his bright eyes over to his father. "What do you mean, Dad?"

"Have you examined what you _could_ do? You know, evaluate all your options?"

Naruto squinted at his father, like he was trying to see something correctly. "Not really. I guess I've just been looking at the bigger picture and how chaotic it all feels."

Minato smiled softly. "And how's that going for you?"

Naruto smiled back at his father. "Not good." Naruto's father was silent as he allowed his son to weigh the possible decisions he could make. "Well, keeping my feelings for the girl with Sasuke doesn't really help anyone. I mean, it's not like a light switch where I can just turn them off, but I can certainly refrain from acting on them."

Minato nodded in agreement. "Alright. What about the other girl?"

Naruto gnawed on the carrot in his hand. "Well, she's really pretty, but she's definitely not Sakura." Minato immediately deduced that was the girl with Sasuke. "Then again, it's not really fair to compare two girls together. I've never seen a more beautiful woman than Sakura, and I doubt I ever will."

The amount of emotion and care in his son's eyes made Minato stare in awe. He had never seen Naruto in such a state. There was the sound of a pot clattering on the floor in the kitchen and Minato's swift eyes caught a flash of red from his peripheral vision. He knew his wife could never resist these kinds of conversations. He focused back on his son. "OK, so what could you do with the other girl?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Well, it's not like she likes me or anything. I mean, I could always pursue her or something like, but she's really smart and definitely out of my league."

"Well, if this Sakura wasn't with Sasuke, would you pursue her?"

Naruto was not sure where to start with that question. "I don't know. I would certainly want to. I guess if I'm looking at my options: I could either give it a shot or just try to be her friend. She seems like a really cool person, so I'm sure both of those choices will have their benefits."

Minato grinned brightly. "Seems like you've got a plan then. She sounds like a wonderful girl. You'll have to bring her over sometime."

All of a sudden, Kushina emerged from the adjacent kitchen with a large, steel pot. "Bring over who, dear?"

The way his wife's eyes glimmered told Minato everything he needed to know about what she had gathered.

After all, she knew everything.

"Just some girl who may or may not come visit us," said Minato.

Kushina allowed herself to seem like that was a cryptic answer. Naruto was fooled by it, but his father knew better.

Naruto's mother asked for certain, smaller details from that point until everything was set before them and they dined with more casual elements added to the conversation. After the food was gone and the talk was wrung out enough to stagnate, Naruto excused himself for the night. He hugged and kissed his parents then left.

Naruto slowly drove back to campus that night. He made a detour over to the beach and made sure his mind could settle on the right methods to grasp for. He parked his Pinto in the small parking lot next to the beach, but he never left his car.

There was a new moon that night and the sea was completely black in front of his windshield. But the sky was pure and brimming with wondrous stars. There was a thin haze blurring some of them fluently and it gave the notion that such a sight was intentional. The natural lights twinkled as they had done for many a millennia and Naruto realized how his life must have appeared so meager to their long flames. He wondered if his problems would seem small just like those flames to his future self. He could hear the logic in his head, reminding him that idea was probably correct. To live in the moment, however, was something Naruto continually took part of and he was always glad to do it.

His mind drifted along, searching for some kind of meaning in all the chaos. He supposed he would find something eventually. It was not until his phone vibrated and he read a convenient text from Sasuke, did he actually find something tangible. He hastily texted a reply to his friend and felt something like hope swell up into his heart.

He was not sure why, but he knew this was going to be interesting.

* * *

Ino fixed her skirt for the tenth time that evening as she approached her well-dressed friend and her boyfriend. They waved at her and Ino brought up her free arm to wave back as she was holding her purse with her other hand. The looming structure of the huge rollercoaster hung high over them as the wood planks underneath shook slightly because of the massive weight. The joyous sounds of the pier and the other patrons around them blended nicely to form a halcyon atmosphere. As Ino got closer to her friends, her eyes bugged out when she saw a familiar face emerge from the crowd and join them.

Naruto could not believe it.

His jaw was ajar like a creaky hinge on a door when he saw the graceful blonde come near to the three of them. Her smooth eyes were clearly showing as much surprise on the development as he felt he was displaying. She turned to Sakura, who swiftly explained what was going on.

Naruto directed an irritated glance towards his best friend. Sasuke simply shrugged and flashed him the smallest of smiles. From years of experience, Naruto could easily identify that smile as his sly one. It was the blond's least favorite one by far.

Sakura must have finished her explanation with Ino because she turned to Naruto suddenly. "Hey, sorry that I didn't tell you I invited my roommate." She gestured towards the fascinating woman. "This is Ino."

Naruto nodded and gulped. "We've met." He attempted to hastily calculate the sheer coincidence of such an interesting occurrence, but it was a fruitless endeavor. Was it so common for two gorgeous women to actually be friends? Let alone roommates? Naruto had pegged Sakura as the kind of girl who would repel other pretty girls because of competition and envy. He was bewildered by it all and if he was being honest, he was excited too.

Ino filtered a hand through her blonde curtain of hair. "Yes, we've talked before."

Sakura exchanged glances between the two of them. She did not seem that perturbed by the realization and a smile similar to the one Sasuke had showed rose up on her face. She looked over to Sasuke for clarification. He gave no indication to back up her assumptions and she allowed it to die. "All right," she breathed. "I guess that makes things easier then."

Ino immediately picked up on her roommate's intentions but now that she properly understood everything, she really could not complain. Confused pieces were aligning in her mind and she could feel her heart lighten at the possible prospects. The boy Sakura had been trying to set her up with just happened to be a man she could potentially work with. The man had proved himself to be a selfless, kind person in their last conversation. He had also established he did not mind asking for help and had approached her then for that reason alone. He was definitely worth giving a chance, probably more than one actually.

Naruto allowed himself to drink up the exquisite figure who was Ino. When he first had met her, the blonde had styled her hair into a ponytail. This time, however, she had allowed her hair to drape down and become fully illuminated by the glow of the stars and the blurred lights of the hanging, artificial lamps above. She was garbed in a lovely, white top and a black skirt. In the shades of the lit night, Naruto could not identify exactly what color her leggings were, but they were dark and gently hugged the curvature of her legs. His eyes stopped at her legs.

They were perfect.

How in the world did he miss those? Sakura's legs were probably better, to be honest. But Ino's had a unique charm that elevated the blond's male brain. They were slightly thinner around the knees and widened by a tender margin near her calves. Her thighs thickened out healthily and they made Naruto's blood broaden and pump to unbelievable levels. Naruto was not even that attracted to legs, but he made an exception for this goddess of a woman. The best part about Ino was she was not dating his best friend and that was a plus in his book.

Despite how attractive Ino was, Naruto could not help but compare her to Sakura. Time did not stop for Ino, but it certainly did for Sakura. The entire world beckoned at her very call and she was not even in another league; she was in another _universe_. A universe only made for her and she was the one who decreed whom was worthy of her attention in her expansive cosmos.

And she made Sasuke worthy.

All of a sudden, Sakura clapped her hands and a bright grin flashed across her perfect lips. "OK! Let's go, guys!"

The four of them decided to ride the rollercoaster first and managed to get to the line quickly enough. Luckily, it was not too long of a line and they were able to sit in the front two cars of the coaster. Sasuke and Sakura were at the very front and Naruto and Ino were right behind them.

The ride was pretty enjoyable for everyone involved. Naruto was rather impressed by Ino's bravery as she happily screamed with every twist and loop the ride had to offer. She showed no fear and somehow radiated a certain charisma he had trouble pinpointing.

There was one particular moment during the ride where Naruto experienced something magical. Near the last bend of the tracks, Naruto caught a glimpse of mesmerizing colors. Off to his right, the lights of the city and Ino's laughing face fused with the reflections of the sea under the pier. Naruto could sense the intensity collide into him as he heard Sakura's cheering as well and it all quickly flew across from him into a flurry of more spins and twists. The adrenaline mixed with the mental picture he had taken, and he was whisked away far into the night.

When the ride stopped and Naruto observed his three companions and their gleeful expressions, he discovered a calm feeling. He realized he could live with these people and whatever problems they would encounter. They were the kind of people to band together and overthrow any tribulation and still not falter in step. He never wanted them to leave or move away because they were strong together. There was such a natural bond between them it did not matter how fresh and new it was. Naruto decided to let it grow stronger organically.

After the rollercoaster, the four of them tried their best at some booths to win some prizes. At the shooting gallery, Sasuke won his girlfriend a plushy panda that she vowed to keep for the rest of her life. Naruto was unable to win anything at that booth, but he redeemed himself when he moved to the balloon dart booth. Sasuke was also proficient at that game, but Naruto managed to win his new, blonde friend a plushy fox. Ino giggled and gawked at how massive it was and Naruto did not miss the frustrated look the owner of the booth was shooting at him.

Sakura kept pestering Sasuke to try out a specific ride she was dying to try so much that he was sure she was going to hit him if he did not comply. Ino wanted to sit down rather than go on the ride, so Naruto stayed with her while the official couple left to enjoy themselves. Sakura nonchalantly threw her plushy panda over to Naruto to carry while they were gone.

After Sasuke and Sakura left them, Ino and Naruto found a nice bench with their backs to the ocean. It was a nice place to people watch and showcased a simple view of the pier's lights and the lively air of it all. Ino kept her eye on her friends' figures as they walked away. "They're pretty cute, huh?"

Naruto had to agree. As much as it stung him to see them together, he had to admit they were really good for each other. He needed to be a good friend and cope with that fact. "Yeah," he uttered.

Ino analyzed his reserved face and leaned closer to him. "I'm glad they found each other."

Naruto stiffened and locked eyes with her. Perhaps, Sakura was too far away to see anymore. But he could see what was right in front of him. "I think I am too."

The blonde beauty grinned at that and held her plushy. "Thanks for the prize. Where did you get so good at throwing darts?"

Naruto shrugged. "I don't know. It's just one of those silly talents that everyone seems to have. Some people are naturally good at puzzles and some are good at throwing pieces of trash into a garbage can from twenty feet away. I just happen to be good at popping balloons with darts."

Ino covered her mouth and her head shook from a bit of laughter. Naruto smiled and chuckled with her. "What about you?" he asked. "What silly talent do you have?"

Ino brought a finger to tap her chin as she thought about it. "I'm pretty good at opening books and somehow finding the exact page I need to be on almost every time."

"What?"

"Like when a professor says to turn to page 234, I almost always arrive to that page when I open the book. It almost happens every single time, no matter what page it is and how big the book is." Ino tried to keep her face straight.

Naruto could feel his lungs exert force as he laughed vociferously. His laugh was so loud that the people passing by stared at him in annoyance and confusion. Through his gasps, he managed to blurt out another: "What?!"

She joined him and they laughed again for a long duration. Finally, they came down from their mirth and Naruto wiped a tear from his eye. "You're serious though? You can actually do that?"

"Yes! I swear! Give me a book and I'll show you."

Naruto shook his head and widened his grin. "I believe you! Man, that's awesome!"

"I know! It's like really stupid but it's kind of handy."

Naruto leaned back against the bench and took a deep breath. "I love that. I wish I had a book right now so you could show me."

An idea threw itself to the front of Ino's head and she questioned if it was something worthy of acting upon. She quickly made it impulsive. "Well, why don't we go get a book?"

Naruto gave her a quizzical expression. "Huh?"

Ino undressed her confidence and flaunted it as much as she was able. "I mean I need to go by a bookstore on the other side of town after class tomorrow. Do you want to come with me?"

Naruto blinked and paused. He paused for so long he was not sure why he even made the delay in the conversation in the first place. For this reason, his response came out a tad too high-pitched than he had planned. "Sure. After our philosophy class, right?" This girl seriously still wanted to hang out with him? He supposed he must have been doing something right.

"Yes," she replied. And just like that, any tension whatsoever washed away between the two of them.

The next several minutes before Sakura and Sasuke returned were filled with fattened banter and more laughter. When the couple came back to see their two friends engaged as they were, Sakura exchanged a knowing glance with her boyfriend. Sasuke could only nod at how well it turned out.

The lights of the city flickered in the distance as the four friends experienced an exulted moment. They embraced what they could and the autumn night allowed their intimacy to flourish. They accepted it and ran with it as far as they could.

If only they could understand how far they had to run…

* * *

 **OK, I was really hesitant on this chapter. I just did not want to write it for a while. Of course, I grit my teeth and wrote it out anyways. Sometimes, writing is really weird, but it definitely takes more dedication than people want to initially give it. While it may take me some time to crank out chapters sometimes, I will be diligent and write out what I can.**

 **I hope you all are enjoying the story. At least, I hope you guys are getting something out of it. If you are not, then hopefully you will. I would love to hear what you all think! I have a lot of great plans and I am excited to see how it will all pan out. See you guys in the next chapter!**

 **-CM**


	5. Such Careful Complexities

Chapter 5: Such Careful Complexities

" _Love binds people too, in matrimony's sacred bonds where chaste lovers are met, and friends cement their trust and friendship. How happy is mankind, if the love that orders the stars above rules, too, in your hearts."_

 _-Boethius, The Consolation of Philosophy_

* * *

Naruto was a tall man, but the ability to reach the top shelf of the jutting wall of books was turning out to be quite the arduous task for the blond. He leaned forward and shifted his weight onto his toes and stretched his fingers high enough to pick at the hanging book. Finally, after some aslant glances from the other patrons in the store, Naruto managed to pull the paperback down from its resting place. He glanced down at the title of the book and pondered on its pragmatic title.

It read: _The Short Stories of F. Scott Fitzgerald_

Before he could continue his musings, he noticed a flash of platinum-white appear at the corner of his eye. A sudden, energetic voice piped up from the other side of the aisle.

"You found it!" Ino exclaimed as she strutted down the aisle towards him.

Naruto smirked triumphantly. "Yep. It looks like it's the only copy left in the store too."

She gently took the book out of his hands and examined it. "Thanks. I thought it would be in the Classical section, but I guess they moved it to Fiction." Her cheeks puffed out slightly. "I have absolutely _no_ idea why they would do that. Fitzgerald's works are certainly classic!"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I wouldn't really know. To be honest, I've never actually checked him out."

Ino blinked incredulously. "Seriously? You didn't read anything by him in high school?" She paused and saw his head shake. "Not even _The Great Gatsby_?" Again, Naruto shook his head.

Her eyes darted around the aisle frantically. "We really need to fix that. There's got to be another piece of his around here." She scanned the shelves above her and saw a familiar scrawling of words. "There it is." As soon as she indicated where the book was, Naruto pushed forward and grabbed it from above her head.

She smiled gratefully as he placed it in her hands. "You're pretty helpful having around, Naruto. I should take you with me when I go grocery shopping." She peered down at the book and held it out to him. "Here. Buy this."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and tentatively grabbed the thin book. Naruto read the title out loud: " _Babylon Revisited and Other Stories._ What makes this one different from the one you're holding?"

Ino gave him a thoughtful look. "The one I'm getting has almost all of Fitzgerald's short stories. This one only has ten. But they're his best ones, so you should get a good handle on his style from them."

Naruto put a hand in his pocket and thumbed the pitiful amount of change resting there. "I didn't really come here to buy anything."

A smile of practiced empathy formed across the beautiful woman's lips. "All right. Well, I recommend you read it sometime. The school's library might have a copy you could check out."

Naruto placed the book back where he found it. "Yeah, I might do that."

Ino could easily sense the reluctance from the blond, but she did not push the matter any further. Instead, Ino took the book she had come for and held it up in front of her friend. "Pick a number."

Naruto appeared to be confused, at first, but then the conversation of the night before rang in his mind. He smiled wryly. "Fifty-three."

Immediately, Ino flipped open in the book and held the exposed page up to Naruto's eyes. The blond had been skeptical earlier, but it was hard to be when proof alleged itself. "Unbelievable." His amused grin betrayed how much he actually did believe it. "Do it again."

Ino tilted her head whimsically. "Number, please."

"Eighty-four."

She closed the book, moved a finger gently, and opened it again. The number Naruto had been expecting flared itself from the blankness of the page. Ino grinned at him.

"How the hell do you do that?" Naruto asked as he chuckled with diversion.

Ino shrugged and closed the book. She flipped her long hair over her shoulder with a specific flair that few people, including herself, could ascertain. "I don't know. I'm just good at doing it. Problem is that it's not a very useful skill, so it kind of sucks as a quirk."

Naruto leaned a hand against the bookshelf. "No, I think it's pretty cool. Not everything needs to be practical, ya know?"

Ino pushed past him towards the front desk of the bookstore. When she got to the end of the aisle, she turned her head back to him. "I guess you're right. You coming?"

Ino paid for her book and the two of them left the store. They meandered over to Naruto's Pinto and when they were seated in the car, the blond turned to his friend with an ambivalent expression. "Do you wanna go back to campus?"

There were many people in the world who preferred a passive approach to questions like that. They enjoyed it when another individual took lead of a situation and proposed an idea. It allowed relief and the ability to shift the responsibility off them and onto the person who chose for them.

Despite these common factors, Ino was simply _not_ this type of person.

"Nah, I'd have to do homework then. Is there somewhere else we could go?" Before Naruto had the chance to conjure up an idea, the blonde woman grinned with a proposition. "I know; let's go to the beach! Do you know any nice spots around here, Naruto?"

Naruto blinked and nodded slowly. This girl was unpredictable and he tried to discern if he enjoyed that or not. He did not need to think about it for long. "OK," he said as he shifted into drive.

He drove west until he reached the long coastal highway that was somehow never too busy despite its radiance year-round. Naruto drove south with the sea on the passenger's side, so Ino could appreciate the vast dimension of water reaching far beyond her comprehension.

Naruto finally parked at a small, quiet beach and they exited out of the little car. Ino stepped out of her boots and slowly padded barefoot into the soft sand towards the surf. Her eyes were transfixed in a way that Naruto could relate to.

The ocean was mesmerizing, spellbinding, hypnotic.

He eyed the young woman approach the end of the waves; the sea surging against her toes. He knew the water was cold this time of year, but he also knew the blonde did not care about that. She was caught in the magic of the ocean and he decided to join her. He took off his shoes and rolled up his jeans. The salty, chilly breeze licked his exposed skin as he shifted into the sand and met her on the beach.

Somehow, Naruto's presence next to her stirred something in her enough to say something. "Do you ever get tired of it, Naruto? Does it ever lose its wonder?"

Naruto smiled as the icy water swelled up to his ankles and then ebbed away. The sensation left him wanting more. "Never."

"Do you ever think humans are the same, Naruto?"

His eyes widened at the question and he focused directly on her expression. Her eyes seemed like they were somewhere far away, grasping some intangible object that no human could ever truly hold. "What?" He knew what she meant, but he felt caught and needed a way out of the depth she had thrown him into.

She fixed her eyes upon him and Naruto saw a pale blue that was a far lighter shade than that of the ocean. "Sometimes, I wonder if humans can lose their wonder. Could they ever become boring or lose a piece of what made them so interesting? I've often asked that to myself."

Naruto tried to read her face and found only a strong grip that held nothing. "That sounds a little unfair. Don't you think humans change too much to become boring? I always found the unpredictable things to be interesting." He realized then he liked her spontaneity and appreciated how it swelled gently with the waves.

Ino smiled softly and turned back to the western sky and the glimmering ocean, stretching far beyond to those infinite possibilities that humans only dreamt of. "I suppose so. Still, I wish humans could be like the sea. I wish they could expand and astound like the waves do."

He had often thought the same thing and that was when he realized what she was saying. She was not referring to humans in general at all. She was talking about herself. And in that moment, Naruto felt like he understood her a little more. He made sure that what he felt for her was not pity.

So, they stood there, breathing in the salt and the waves. Neither party spoke for a long time and they both found satisfaction in that. Even when Naruto finally drove Ino back to campus and they parted ways for the day, they were still satisfied.

* * *

Sakura groaned as her head smacked against her keyboard. She knew she probably hit some keys and created some gross dribble of words on her essay, but she savored the moment of pause anyways. She did not want to look at her laptop screen for one more second, but the glaring blankness of the white page burned across the crown of her head, taunting her and eliciting another groan from the woman. She tilted her head up and stared at the screen again. She was drained and even though this was her final assignment for quite a while, she still could not summon the motivation to finish the last page.

Suddenly, a knock on her door freed Sakura from her suffering. "Come in," she chimed with as much glee as she could muster at that hour of the night.

Two, recognizable hair buns poked through the door and a round face beamed at her from across the dorm room. "Hi, Sakura!" Tenten exclaimed.

Sakura welcomed the intrusion. "Hi, Tenten."

The young foreigner surveyed her friend's little room for a second. "Where's Ino?"

"She went to the library to study. What's up?"

"Hinata and I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to our room and watch a movie? We found a horror one online with good reviews."

Tenten's offer was so tempting that Sakura almost shut her laptop and bounced out of her room to enjoy a fun night with friends, but she warily pried herself away. "Sorry, Tenten. I've got to finish this biology essay. I'm almost done with it."

Tenten waved her hand dismissively. "That's fine. When you're finished, come join us!" With that, she closed the door and left the pink-haired student alone again.

Sakura looked down at her notes to cite another source, but her mind wanted to be somewhere else. Her wandering attention was satiated when her cell vibrated in her pocket and she checked it to see a text from Sasuke. He was asking if she wanted to escape from her studies for a little while. She surprisingly found this offer to be less enticing than Tenten's.

After she sent her dismissal, her thoughts grabbed hold of something intriguing. She greatly cherished her boyfriend and the time she spent with him, but she was beginning to question her affections. They were not opposing questions, but were actually supportive of the young man's character. Every time she saw him or felt her skin touch his, a pleasurable surge of emotion shot through her entire body. It was something she had never felt prior to his presence in her life and she was dumbfounded by its odd nature. She remembered hearing her mother describe that feeling when she talked about Sakura's father, so she equated the sensation with some form of raw love.

They had been together for only a few weeks now, but her heart could not be lying to her. She must love Sasuke. It was probably some crude, premature model of it, but it was so pure that there was nothing else it could be. The best part about it was that it was so new and fresh. She had never experienced such passionate emotion before and the accurate description of it was nowhere near her vocabulary. Even her native tongue would most likely leave the feeling muted and contained.

Truly, there were no doubts in her heart about her feelings about Sasuke. Love must have been this sensation. What else could it be? Her mother and father's actions towards each other were similar and they were her perfect example of love. It had to be love. There were no doubts in her mind.

Absolutely, no doubts.

Sakura leaned forward and looked at her notes again. She typed another sentence about proteins and cited the source. Her fingers flew across her keyboard as her false confidence grew in her mind, convincing her of every possibility until there were truly no more doubts.

* * *

Naruto's sweatshirt clung to his skin and he felt the sticky sweat cover his body. He took another step forward and pushed the pain down enough to press on. He ran down a soothing, residential street with white and brown houses dotted along it. The rain had fallen earlier that day, so a fresh sheen of dew covered the many lawns the blond raced by. Later that night, the dew would freeze and become chilled dust in the morning. Because of this, the air was thick, cool, and perfect for his exercise.

He was starting to feel the pleasure of running now and realized the sick feeling of his lungs being squeezed was only temporary. The pain was almost admired now and he could thrive in it for increasing intervals of time. His leg muscles were hardening too and when he found the rhythmic beat in his steps, he sensed as if he was attuned with the natural union of his physical and mental systems. There was nothing else like it and he reveled in its intricacies.

As he rushed by the houses, a mousy teenage girl stepped out of her home to reach into her mailbox. Naruto raised a hand in polite greeting. When the young girl noticed his sweaty physique and his confident smile coupled with his strong jaw, she shuffled quickly back into her house with flushed cheeks.

The blond student grinned and chuckled to himself as he continued his exercise. Making a random girl feel that way was always a good boost for him and he knew it was appropriate as long as he kept it exclusively there.

He turned a corner and his thoughts turned with it. There was a stone reality set in his head as he recalled the fact that he was not seeing Ino again tonight. Their experience on the beach had been a few nights ago, and he had not had the pleasure of spending quality time with her since. She had tried to set something up tonight, but he could not get work off because Guy needed him to close.

The fact that Naruto anticipated spending time with the blonde beauty did not escape his attention. If he was being analytical about it, he was probably replacing the hurt from his inability to be with Sakura with the attention Ino was giving him. But it was more than that. He genuinely cared for Ino and the way her mind worked. Her personality was so fortified and mature for a girl her age and she kept wanting to hang out with him. Surely, he was a fortunate man.

Despite these truths, there was another, darker truth stowed away at the back of his mind. A reality that could only be numbed and ignored as much as a truth could be, and yet still exist beyond such feeble attempts to silence it. His mind's filter caught sludge like everyone else's did, but no matter how hard he tried to clean out its contents, he would still find light hairs caught in the sludge; pink hairs amalgamated with the muddled mess of his head.

Naruto pressed on past the houses, past the streets, past the dew, past the sludge, and reached his dorm room. He quickly noted the lack of his roommate's presence and changed into his work clothes. He grabbed his car keys and lumbered over to his Pinto.

When he finally reached the pizza parlor, he saw Guy wave at him from behind the counter of his nightmares. "Yo, Naruto! You got a package."

Naruto's eyebrow lifted as Guy placed a square cardboard box on the front counter. The blond walked over and scanned the label on the box. His name was written out in elegant handwriting that only a female could produce. He pulled out his keys to sever the tape on the box and when he opened it, a knowing smile formed slowly across his lips.

A familiar book laid there and a white note had been placed on the cover. Naruto picked up the note and read its simple message scrawled out in the same careful handwriting:

 _I recommend reading "Winter Dreams" first._ _I think you'll enjoy it. We can talk about it when I see you next. Have fun at work!_

 _-Ino_

Naruto shook his head as he held up the paperback she had gifted him. He savored the growing confidence he was receiving from the gift and he would be sure to repay the favor when the opportunity arose. He was not completely certain about her views on the matter, but he was positive Ino had been wrong that time on the beach.

She could never lose her wonder.

* * *

 **I know this was a really short chapter and you guys have been so patient waiting for an update, so I can't help but feel bad about giving you this much. I just had to end it here and it would seem bloated if I made it longer. However, I'm done with Finals and all my undergraduate classes too. So, until my internship starts, I'll have plenty of time to update and bring you guys more chapters! Consider this little update a taste of what will come shortly.**

 **Also, I was debating on whether to do this, but it seems I haven't made my intentions clear enough. This is a NaruxSaku fic. The other pairings are only temporary for the sake of development. That's all I'm going to reveal on the matter.**

 **Anyways, what did you think? Do you like the progression and the characters? Why? Please, let me know! I love what you guys have to say, so I would appreciate as much feedback as I can get. Thanks, guys.**

 **-CM**


	6. For Emphasis

Chapter 6: For Emphasis

" _I want your warm bright eyes  
To come back to me  
And hold on to me.  
You know that I won't lie  
I will never look away."_

 _-Vienna Teng_

* * *

The weeks drifted and dropped with the temperature as the earth became harder and quieter. The semester was close to its edge and late November gave what it could for the receding remnants of the year. The sea roared against the cold while the air succumbed to its unbearable will. The citizens of the city bundled up lightly and took advantage of warm coffee shops and cozy books. Winter was almost near and everyone was prepared for it, except for a certain blond.

Naruto sneezed loudly and felt more mucus fall into his blanket. He groaned at the mess and grabbed another tissue to clean himself and the blanket. He sunk deeper into his bed and pulled his blankets tighter around himself. Naruto Uzumaki hated the cold, but more than that he hated what it brought. He considered for there to be no greater separation of humanity than between those who were healthy and those who were ill. He typically got sick when the humidity dropped this time of year and he knew he could have probably prevented it if he had been careful.

But he was rarely careful.

He peered out his window and saw the other students moving around, bearing that familiar burden of stress and despair. Conversely, one could also observe the occasional gleam of hope in the many expressions that looming college exams would usually bring. Some were confident in their academic abilities and were fearless in the face of adversity whenever their professors threw their best at them. Others were not so certain.

Fortunately, it was a Sunday, so Naruto could rest, relax, and hopefully recuperate enough for the unbearable few weeks ahead. That was his hope, anyways. His body ached and his head felt abnormally warm but his professors would never excuse his absence even if he was ill. The actual final exams were only two weeks away and the blond was dreading the inevitable stress that would come with them.

Finals were not even that bad, he thought to himself. It was all the damn assignments beforehand that drained all the energy from the students to the point of exhaustion and made the exams that much harder. Students would run themselves into the ground with all the work they had to do. Oftentimes, he would hear professors complain about students' work ethic and he would allow himself to simmer in anger over it. They did not understand the anguish and strife the average college student put themselves through. Perhaps, they had only forgotten their own attitudes during their younger years, but they still incorrectly compared their younger selves to their current students.

When Naruto saw his fellow colleagues and friends work multiple jobs and still attend classes, he was astounded by their spirit. He trusted their views of life and how they could persevere through the turmoil. He was proud to say he knew these fine people and was frustrated with those who claimed life would only get harder. Life was always hard and it was best to focus on the present rather than brood over some future the older adults would admonish. Naruto understood how his life could be better lived and ran with his friends towards that life.

If only he could decide what he needed to do…

Naruto was suddenly jolted from his reverie when a knock on his door resounded harshly. He sat up in his bed and called out through the empty room. "Who is it?"

The door opened and to his surprise, a beautiful green eye peeked out from the side of the door at him. "It's Sakura. I heard you weren't feeling well."

Naruto could feel his face heat up and he wished he could say it was the fever. He had not seen her since a few nights ago when the four of them had watched a movie together. His roommate must have dropped his ill name in her presence and he was quickly questioning if that was in his best interests or not. When he saw a big, steaming bowl in Sakura's hands, Naruto realized that it was indeed. "Uh, yeah. Are you sure you want to be here, though? I'm contagious, ya know."

Sakura flashed him a sweet smile as she carried over the large bowl that was carefully placed on a porcelain plate. "That's fine. I have a pretty good immune system." After she set the bowl down on his desk, she looked up at him on his lofted bed. Her eyes creased in scrupulous thought. She turned to Sasuke's bed on the other side of the bed. She pointed to it. "Lay there."

"W-why?" Naruto stammered out immediately.

"I can't help you from up there. I need you to come down here."

"What are you going to do that involves me coming down there?" This girl honestly made him run in circles trying to figure her out. She had never shown this much direct attention to him before. He was not sure if she merely saw him as some sort of patient or if she was just doing this because he was Sasuke's roommate.

She ignored the question and pointed again to the other bed. "Come on, Naruto."

"But that's Sasuke's bed!"

There was a frame of irritation in her expression, but it was so obviously laced with concern that Naruto knew it bore no malcontent towards him. "I'm sure he won't mind. You're sick. He'll understand."

The blond reluctantly got out of his bed, clutching his blankets around him. He was clad in his pajamas and he felt extremely vulnerable as he shuffled into his best friend's bed. Naruto was hesitant. Was this actually OK?

He laid his head on Sasuke's pillow and allowed his body to settle into the mattress. Without a moment's notice, he felt a soft, milky hand caress his forehead. Her hand was so smooth and cool that Naruto almost dozed off from the delicate touch. But that comfort was quickly washed away by shock. What the hell was going on?!

"D-don't you have homework to do or something?" he blurted.

Her emerald eyes fixed tightly on him. They were such lovely eyes, he thought. "Yes, I do. But I'm staying here with you instead." She lifted her hand away from his head. "Your fever's pretty high."

She brought the bowl over and gently sat on the bed next to him with the bowl neatly placed in her lap. For one insane second, he thought she was going to feed him and that would really have sent his circuits into a frenzy. Instead, she simply quirked an eyebrow at his still form. "Could you sit up, please?"

He felt his face flush in embarrassment as he sat up with the pillow propped against his back. With a pleasant smile, she placed the hot bowl in his lap. Naruto peered down at the steaming bowl of thick broth and hot, white noodles. "I made it myself," she chimed.

Naruto took the spoon and lifted the soup up to his lips. The hot broth soothed his sore throat and warmed its way down to his stomach. "It's delicious," he said softly.

The elation in Sakura's eyes made his body melt far more than the soup ever could. "Wonderful!"

As Naruto ate more of the soup, the pink-haired student noted the lone book on Naruto's desk. "Fitzgerald, huh?"

Naruto nodded as he licked his warmed lips happily. "Yep. Have you read his stuff too?"

Sakura looked at him thoughtfully. "Of course! "Babylon Revisited" is my favorite, but everything else he wrote is also amazing."

"That one was really good! I've almost read all of the stories in there. I've been enjoying them a lot."

She smiled prettily. "I'm glad."

There was a slight pause between the two of them as finally the most crippling question dawned on the sick blond. "So, why isn't Sasuke with you?"

She blinked and tilted her head as if it was obvious. "He's in class." A knowing smile crept onto her face. "Don't worry; he knows I'm here."

Naruto gave her a sardonic look. "Does he know that you made me soup and I'm in his bed?"

She giggled at that. "I told you not to worry, Naruto. Just focus on getting better." She snatched a pill bottle from her purse and dropped two, red pills into her hand. "Here, take these. They'll break your fever."

Naruto silently took them and swallowed them dry. His wary eyes stared at her. This was so bizarre. Did she not understand how odd it was for a girl to be alone with her boyfriend's roommate? In his room? Giving him soup when he was sick? Wasn't this a thing girls did for their boyfriends? Before he knew it, his questions were being said out loud. "Why are you doing all of this for me?"

Her shoulders lowered as her sweet voice drifted throughout the room. "Because you're my friend, Naruto."

Naruto dropped his spoon and it made a _plop_ sound as it fell into the bowl of soup. This woman was so altruistic that she was doing all of this for him out of the kindness of her own heart. His mouth began to stammer out a response: "Oh— well, that's kind of you, but—"

"I just always worry when people get sick. I mean you've been so good to Ino and Sasuke that I consider you just as much of a good friend as them and it would be rude of me to just ignore your suffering." Her eyes carried such a strong presence of innocence that there was no way any man could refute her.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, when you put it like that—" He suddenly felt a sliver of guilt run through him. He was getting flustered over his best friend's girl. Then again, he kind of always was. Ino had been sort of channeling those feelings over the past few weeks with her constant attendance in his life, but it was still _there_.

He cringed inwardly at the remembrance of the blonde woman. This was not fair to her either. It was pretty clear they both had feelings for each other; they were just enjoying the slow ride of things. But his biggest problem was clearly this division of affection he shared for Ino and Sakura.

Why the hell did he still feel something for Sakura!?

This was not good for his friends at all. He loved Sasuke as a brother, _and_ he had feelings for his girlfriend. These traitorous feelings could divide all of his friends apart if he was not careful. But it was not like he could just turn them off like a light switch. This was his heart speaking to him and when Sakura's pink strands crossed the frame of her glittering eyes, he knew there was nothing he could do to completely eradicate them. He could ignore his feelings; he could mute them and stomp them far into the quarries of his heart, but they would still be there, alive, vigilant.

"So, how's Ino?" Sakura asked when she saw Naruto's eyes glaze over and depart to some faraway place.

His eyes became alert again and blinked out of his stupor. They reminded her of the ocean. "Uh— what? Ino? Why are you asking me? Don't you live with her?"

Sakura could feel her mirth bubble up. "Well, yeah. But you see her a lot more than I do. To be honest, I'm surprised she wasn't here when I showed up just now. I thought for sure she would be, fussing over you and your condition."

Naruto knew Sakura was the one who advocated for him and Ino to become an item, Sasuke had told him earlier, but her blunt observations concerning their relationship still sent him to some addled land of thought. It also sent him back to his guilty conscience. "Well, I haven't told her that I'm sick," he said as his head dipped. "I just told her I was going to skip classes today. Sasuke's the only one I've told about my health."

Her reply was mindful, airy, jovial: "I see. So, you wanted to avoid the fussing on her part?"

Naruto nodded. Truth be told, he would have loved to see the gorgeous blonde feeding him and reading him some Fitzgerald story while he sipped on tea she had made for him. But that would have been selfish of him. She needed to study and attend her classes if she was going to keep her high GPA. Now that Sakura was here and she was taking Ino's place in the matter, he was glad. He was so happy she was here and that feeling hurt so much in his heart. He could not have her and it was tearing him apart. He just had to make sure he was the only one who was in pain.

Because if he failed…

"You've been really good to her, you know," Sakura's pitch was mellifluous and her eyes lowered. One of the sweetest, softest smiles Naruto had ever seen skimmed across her ripe lips. "I can tell you really care for her."

Naruto swallowed his nervousness, pushed forward that insatiable confidence he was famous for, and morphed it into a bright smile. "Of course, she's a great friend. I'm glad the four of us can hang out like we do."

Sakura nodded and kept the enchanting smile that Naruto was certain was throwing him into some cloudy expanse of dreams and fantasies. "She really is. I hope you two can continue to get along and eventually become—"

Suddenly, a quick knock bounced from across the room and the door opened. Ino's curvy figure appeared from behind the door. "Hi, Naruto! Sasuke told me you were—" Her voice dropped and her eyes widened marginally at the scene before her.

Sakura blinked and waved to her roommate with an innocent grin. "Oh, Ino! Hi! We were just talking about you."

Ino bit the inside of her lip and creased her brow slightly. "Damn, Sakura. You beat me to him!" A humorous grin spread across her features and the two girls laughed heartily at each other.

Despite their jubilation over the occurrence, Naruto sat still on his roommate's bed. A cold sweat formed along his forehead as he coolly realized his fever had broken. His stomach felt heavy because just for one second when Ino had opened the door, he had seen a foreign and terrible glint in her eyes. A glint that carried an emotion he had never seen from her before. A glint that did not match the hue of her normally gentle eyes.

A green glint.

* * *

"No way," Sasuke uttered as he took a bite of his sandwich. The stoic expression he was sending his roommate did not match his words at all.

Naruto ran his hands frantically through his hair. "It's true! It was terrifying!"

He had just finished his tale concerning the events of the day before and Sasuke listened to the whole of it intently. Naruto duly left out the parts about him lying in Sasuke's bed and the thoughts about his girlfriend, but the other details had been appropriately expressed.

They were currently seated at a table in the corner of the cafeteria with other students racing around them, trying to get fuel so they could hit the books once again.

Sasuke took a sip from his juice. "Did Ino mention anything about it after Sakura left?"

Naruto's eyes dropped to his heaping plate of pasta. "No, not one word."

Sasuke whistled. "Then what did happen afterwards?"

Naruto fidgeted with his pasta and leaned his head on his open palm. "Sakura left after that and Ino hung out with me until her next class. I was pretty worried about what she'd do or say then, but she acted as if nothing had even happened the whole time she was there." He was feeling much better today, but that still did not hinder the chilly fragment slithering up his spine at the thought of those green-tinted, azure eyes. "And I'm still not sure if that was in my favor or not."

"Do you really think she was actually jealous?" Sasuke asked. "I mean she knows Sakura's with me, so why would she even question such a thing?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not gonna say I know how a woman's mind works. But I do know what I saw and it was frightening."

"If she was jealous, then wouldn't that be a good thing for you?"

"Huh?"

The dark-haired roommate leaned forward with his arms on the table. "Wouldn't that insinuate that she has something to be jealous _of_? That she's envious because she's afraid of losing you?"

Naruto blinked. "But you just questioned why she would even think about that." Naruto knew where Ino's feelings were located, but it was an entirely different thing to hear the idea out loud. It almost sounded like nonsense when it was brought to his ears.

"I'm not saying it's rational, Naruto." A small smirk etched along his face. "Jealousy rarely is. But I am saying that you should think more carefully about her intentions. I think it would be wise for you to discern her feelings and then act on them when the time is right."

Naruto ruminated on that for a moment. He had not really considered taking action on Ino's feelings. Hell, he did not even understand his own. But Sasuke was right; it would be wise of him to figure out Ino's feelings about him and then flow with them if possible. "I guess you're right," the blond finally stated.

Sasuke munched on another morsel of bread and meat as he nodded. "Good." Everything was finally working out for him and Naruto. If he played his cards right, then they would both have beautiful significant others in their life. "You know, that was really nice of Sakura to do that for you."

Naruto could see the minefield in front of him. He tentatively took a step onto it. "Yeah, it really was. She's pretty great, Sasuke."

Sasuke's smirk from earlier grew slightly. "She really is." Naruto was suddenly transfixed by the intensity of his roommate's eyes. They were starry, awake. "I really don't deserve her, Naruto."

The blond had no idea how to respond to that. It was as if his best friend was held captive by his own thoughts and all Naruto could do was watch him from afar, bewildered by his state of mind. Sasuke was typically the man to venture forth into some dark abyss and come back stronger, more appreciative of the light. But this was different. Now, his best friend was practically effervescent in his relationship with the pink-haired beauty. He no longer wanted to step into any abyss because the light was bright enough by itself now. It did not need some form of contrast to highlight itself and Naruto thought that perfectly described the character of Sakura Haruno.

Naruto could not blame him. The only reason he had not submitted to the extreme power and force that was Sakura was because of his solid friendship with Sasuke. The presence of a certain blonde woman probably affected the equation as well, but that made matters too esoteric for his liking. His tenacity was formidable and he was highly capable of controlling his feelings, albeit with great difficulty. His resolve from the other day strengthened. For his sake and for the sake of his friends, he would not let any of this get in the way.

"Don't let her go, Sasuke." Naruto's words had left his mouth before he had even thought about them.

Sasuke picked up on his friend's impulse. It showed his words were from the heart and those had always been his favorite. "I won't."

The two roommates sat for the duration of their lunch and then left to go to their respective classes.

Naturally, they both left with smiles.

* * *

"So, why were you with Naruto the other day?" Ino asked as she looked up from the book she was reading. She was lying on her bed and could view the thin lining of her friend's focused expression.

Sakura stopped her typing and swerved in her chair to face her roommate. Her head tilted at the abruptness of the conceived question. Clearly, Ino had been thinking about it for a while. Sakura surveyed the blonde with a sense of caution, phrasing her words delicately. "He was sick and I decided to help him out." She paused and quickly noted a necessary addition. "Nothing more."

A calm smile emerged from Ino's features. "Sorry, I'm not trying to pounce on you or anything. I just wanted to know for clarification purposes. I knew you had good intentions."

Sakura's eyebrows were raised high enough to indicate the necessity for some clarification of her own. "Were you jealous then?"

Ino stared down at her book, her eyes resting on no words in particular. "A little."

Sakura allowed herself to make a firm grin. She always appreciated how honest her friend could be. She had only known her for that semester, but she was the type of person who could easily become one of the most important individuals in her life. She recalled her mother once mentioning how she had met her best friend in college and had cultivated the richest friendship she claimed to have ever had. There was something magical about making friends in the college atmosphere, struggling over grades and the tragic events that life would irrevocably bring. Needless to say, she could move forward with Ino.

"It's just—" Ino continued. "I know I shouldn't have felt that way. You obviously have Sasuke and would have no cause to make a move on Naruto. You're also a really good friend and wanted what was best for him. I also know that you're a nursing major and you were acting off that mentality, but—" There was a small lapse and Sakura could see the inner conflict in her roommate. "But when I saw you leaning over him and the two of you were smiling like that—"

"It hurt." Sakura added gently.

Ino's eyes were watery and she nodded in a slow fashion. "Yeah. There was a warm air exuding from the two of you and I _wanted_ it. I yearned for it so badly for one second even though I knew it was completely illogical to think you were taking something from me. No, wait—" Her eyes darted around in arced trajectories, searching for some kind of concept to linger on. "That's not right. It's not like you were taking him from me. It was like I was missing out on the time I could be spending with him and you were experiencing it instead. I was almost fine with that, but then I selfishly wanted more." She was sitting straight up now and the reality of her words were weighing heavily in her, obliterating all hollowness there. "Sakura, what's happening to me?"

The young lady ran an ivory hand through her rosy locks. "It sounds like you have strong feelings for him."

"I mean I know I do. But what should I do about them?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I want—" She hesitated as a hazy dream skirted sweetly across her vision. It was such a pleasant dream and left an even more pleasant smile on the blonde's face. "—to be with him."

Sakura got out of her chair and dropped onto her friend's bed. She slowly grabbed Ino's hands and stared straight into her eyes. There was a stillness in the air that neither of them had ever known between each other before. They both knew it was a step in their friendship and it was one they would never step back from. "What will you do then?"

Ino could see the dream clearly now. It was expanding brilliantly before her in the emerald eyes of her roommate. It involved the four of them running, laughing, enjoying each other's presence; and Naruto was holding her, kissing her, telling her the greatest of things about the world. The loveliest display of intimacy that she could ever conceive of was awake and wildly seeking the very best for her. It opened the starry sky and sent her towards a spiraling universe where nothing could oppose her and no one could stop her momentum. And she could will it all to happen.

She squeezed Sakura's hands and her soul burned hot to support her conviction. "I'm going to tell him."

A sunny grin from Sakura transformed the splendor of the room. "Great!" She leaned closer and whispered: "But you can't tell him just anywhere."

Ino blinked and the serious air in the room seemed to evaporate. "Where then?"

Sakura's tongue poked through her teeth as she ran to her computer. She opened her email and began to quickly scan its contents. She found the email she was looking for and turned to Ino with her finger on the screen. "Here."

Ino approached the laptop and read the electronic flyer her friend was gesturing to. Before she knew it, she was mirroring Sakura's sunny grin.

* * *

Naruto leaned over Ino's shoulder, hastily copying down her notes because the professor had changed to the next slide too quickly. The blonde woman was already finished with the current slide and they both watched with the rest of the class as Dr. Nara left his podium and approached the front row of students.

Dr. Nara's voice was vehement and crisp. "Can we all just lower all pencils for a moment, please?"

The class exchanged almost chaotic looks to one another and dubiously lowered their writing tools. Dr. Nara took a deep breath. "Thank you. I understand you're all pretty stressed for Finals and all. I remember my undergrad years well enough to remember how simplistic and overwhelming they can be. If you all don't mind, I would like to share some knowledge that I think will ease your tired minds."

There were some scattered murmurs from the populace, but no one seemed to object to the professor's words. A girl with round glasses in the front of the class rose her hand gingerly. "Um, will this be on the final?"

Dr. Nara shook his head firmly. "No, this is all for your personal benefit. I'm going to give you some truth that I wish I had been given when I was your age. This truth should hopefully propel you towards your greatest ambitions as well as your minor goals; for instance, your exams." Dr. Nara paused to allow his words to have their natural effect on his students. Once he thought he had waited long enough, he spoke in a low tone. "You can never stop searching for meaning."

Perplexed frowns appeared across the faces of his students, Naruto included, but Dr. Nara did not waver in his logic. "Humans can never stop their search for meaning. We are all constantly looking for it and working with it. Truth by itself can't help us without meaning, so that's why we find meaning and then use it to make sense of the truth. Our very words and thoughts bear meaning and that's why we try to communicate them."

He could witness the calculating looks from his students and he felt a chuckle form in his lungs. He suppressed it for their sake. He picked up a pen off his podium and raised it high. "This is a pen." There was a muffled laugh from somewhere in the back. "How many words can I write with this pen until it runs out of ink?"

The spectacled girl spoke again, this time a little louder. "Um, 20,000 words?"

Dr. Nara shrugged in exaggeration. "Maybe. I have no idea. If I did know the answer, what could I do with that knowledge? Nothing, without meaning. Whatever the number is would be true, but I can't do anything with it unless I have a point of knowing it. So, why bother knowing the answer? If someone had asked me how many words I could write or I was doing an experiment of some sort than I could find out because then it would have _meaning_."

Ino spoke up this time and Naruto gazed at her from the corner of his eye with admiration. "What about for unpragmatic reasons, Dr.? Does there always have to be a meaning for everything? Like when I see a beautiful sunset and appreciate its beauty? Does there have to be a practical reason for looking at the sunset or am I just wasting my time?"

Dr. Nara smiled as he answered. "A good question, Ms. Yamanaka. You're limiting meaning to pragmatism, though. It's the _search_ for meaning that I'm speaking of. We constantly search after meaning and try find its tangibility in all things. It's why we do everything and anything in this world. And when we have faith and trust in those things we find to be undeniably true and meaningful, we cannot let go. In fact, we should not let go."

His audience was captivated and Dr. Nara decided to end it while he still had them. "My point is: there's meaning in what you are doing here. Your efforts are not in vain but are actually sending you forward towards those ambitions you all seek so eagerly after. Please, keep finding truth and meaning in your studies and use them. Make them yours and never let anyone stop you. Never let anyone tell you what is not true about the world you know to be true. Find the meaning even in your exams and as you study for them. There is meaning in this world, despite what some of my colleagues would like to think. So, find it." There was another pause in the classroom and he knew he had reached them. "And never stop. Class dismissed."

Naruto packed his laptop into his backpack and waited for Ino to ready her own belongings. As they thanked Dr. Nara and exited the classroom, Ino pointed to the end of the hallway they stepped into. "Let's go this way, Naruto. There's something I want to check out."

Naruto followed her without opposition and exhaled loudly as they marched down the hall. "Man, that got kind of heavy at the end, huh?"

There was a sparkle in Ino's eyes as she looked back at him. "Yeah, it was awesome. I can't believe I've never thought about something so basic like that before. It's something we always do and think about but never so directly."

Naruto nodded as he dug his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Yeah, I liked it too. Dr. Nara's definitely one of my favorite professors for that reason. He knows what we need to hear and says it pretty clearly."

Ino faced forward and could feel her excitement growing. "Yep!"

They reached the end of the hall where there was a large cork board hanging on the wall. In big, red letters above the board, it read: EVENT BOARD. There were paper flyers and announcements pinned to the board, loosely fluttering with the warm waves of the heaters above them. Ino grabbed a white flyer with a crudely-drawn mountain capped with snow etched upon it.

The blonde raised the flyer to Naruto's eyes and he read it quickly. "Ski Club's Annual Ski Trip, Sign Up Now!" was scrawled out in black ink at the top of the page and Naruto eyed Ino quizzically.

Ino clasped both of her hands together. "Sakura and I were wondering if you and Sasuke wanted to join the Ski Club's trip to the mountains. You don't have to be a member, so anyone can come. It's the week after Finals, so if you can get the time off work we can go." Before Naruto could even say anything, Ino added more to her side of things. "It's OK if you can't ski, they'll teach you there. We don't even have to ski, if you don't want to. We can just hang out in the lodge and—"

"Sounds fun!" Naruto exclaimed.

Ino stopped talking as she saw the lighthearted blond already develop plans in his mind. She was suddenly bombarded with questions concerning logistics and what they should buy and look out for. Before she knew it, she was joining in on the excitement and making plans. When they both got the text that Sasuke had agreed to come too, the jubilation increased to exponential levels.

So, they planned for a commute to the mountains where matters would ultimately change and meaning would undoubtedly be sought after.

* * *

 **I'm so thankful that I have time to write again. My muse is back stronger than ever too, so I should be able to crank out quick updates if this persists. The plot is progressing well and I'm definitely pleased with this story so far. I certainly hope that my thoughts are being portrayed accurately enough for you guys to see where my intentions are at. I would love to hear what you think about them! Please, review and let me know what you think.**

 **See you soon.**

 **-CM**


	7. A Change in Pressure

Chapter 7: A Change in Pressure

" _But we can't hold back from the light of day  
And keep on with secrets and make up the meaning.  
And we can't hold back 'til the light escapes  
We'll lean on the secrets cause we know the meaning."_

 _-St. Lucia_

* * *

Minato helped his son pack his supplies for the week ahead into the back of the family's Cadillac Escalade. They all knew Naruto's Pinto would not do too well in the mountains, especially with the heavy snowfall they were having up there this season. Minato arranged Naruto's brand-new skis into the trunk and looked over to his son carrying over two suitcases. Naruto dumped the suitcases into the trunk nonchalantly and Minato rolled his eyes as he organized the misshapen pile his son had created.

Across the driveway, Kushina called from the front porch. "Naruto, did you pack enough food for the trip?"

Naruto smirked. "Yeah! I don't need to pack that much though. We paid for all our meals already from the fee to go on the trip." The cost had been a little too expensive for Naruto's liking, but the club had covered half the total cost of the resort's expense. Because their college was private and highly successful in the finance department, the clubs received a generous allowance every semester. The resort was also one of the top-rated in the state in terms of facilities and location, so Naruto deemed the price to be worth it.

Kushina lowered her hands to her hips stubbornly. "Basic meals aren't going to be enough, dear. You're going to be using up a lot of energy on those mountains, so you need to pack extra meals and snacks."

Naruto shook his head with a sense of mirthful admiration. He secretly loved it when his mother fussed over him and acted like all great mothers did when they worried about their children. It showed how much she cared and it took the blond a long time to see that. It was only when he left college and thought about how his parents had prepared him for the real world that he appreciated their antics. "I already did, Mom. I have plenty of food."

Kushina stepped into the house for a moment and brought back a small, orange backpack. She approached him on the driveway and handed the backpack to him. "Well, I packed you some extra rations, just in case."

Naruto took the offering gratefully as he chuckled. "You're a card, Mom, ya know that?"

She stepped forward and kissed his cheek. He was a head taller than her now, so she had to stretch up a little. "I'm pretty aware, dear." Her eyes glimmered as she looked up at the man her son had become. "Now, you better get going. You've still got to pick up Ino and the others. You mustn't keep them all waiting."

Naruto nodded as he threw the backpack into the Cadillac's trunk and closed it. "Alright."

Minato handed him the keys with a bright smile. "Take good care of her now. You're not used to the size of that vehicle, so be cautious."

"Alright, Dad. Thanks for helping me pack!" He waved to his parents as he got into the SUV.

After he drove away and the outlining of the Escalade's smooth frame disappeared down the street, Minato turned to his wife. "Do you think I should have given him your car?"

Kushina laughed at that and headed towards the house. "Now, sweetheart. My car wouldn't handle those mountain roads nearly as much as the Escalade would. Honestly, why do you think you bought that thing anyways?"

Minato shrugged as he opened the front door for his wife. "Well, for the mountains, of course."

Kushina smiled thoughtfully. "You also knew our son would ask for it from time to time." They already talked about this the night before. They had settled on letting Naruto borrow it because of his good grades. Minato had still spent a small fortune to get the vehicle, so he was still slightly reluctant on the decision. Even though he was a successful therapist with his own private practice, Cadillacs did not run cheap.

"I suppose you're right," Minato said. He could still remember those days where he had begged his own father to take the T-bird out to impress his own dates. He supposed he could relate to his son.

Kushina rose her chin up, satisfied. "Of course, I'm right. Now, your sandwich is almost ready, dear." The gorgeous woman walked into the kitchen and took the heated ham she had made for his sandwich out of the microwave. "I'm just glad you took Naruto on those ski trips when he was little. He'll be much safer out there with that experience."

Minato nodded as he leaned against the wall of the kitchen. "Yeah. It's too bad we couldn't ever get Sasuke to join us." He suddenly looked at his watch. "Sorry, honey. I'm going to have to pick up something else for lunch. I have to go to the office for a meeting with a client. I can take your car, right? Thanks. See ya when I get back!" He grabbed his coat and was out the front door a second later.

"Bye!" she called out the moment after the door had shut.

Kushina somberly took a bite of the ham. It had been glazed with honey. However, the discomfort in the swell of her chest took away the sweet taste of the meat. She had not told the two men in her life about the discomfort yet. It was probably just a simple thing. She would see the doctor tomorrow and everything would be fine. She was not sure if she _actually_ believed that or not, but it was best not to make others worry.

A mother had to think of her family above all else and that involved facing adversity with a smile. Despite her convictions, the slight agony pressed against her and gnawed the worries of some dark, dimensionless glare. Even as the discomfort deepened and she clutched her chest tightly, Kushina Uzumaki still managed to display a positive smile.

* * *

Naruto was late.

Sasuke groaned as he checked the time on his phone. Ino glanced at Sakura's concerned smile that broadened into a grin. "He'll be here any second," she said with baseless confidence. "I'm sure of it."

The dark-haired student nodded as he stared at the empty parking lot surrounding them. With Finals finally over, every able body had evacuated the premises, ran to some distant beach or mountain, cheering, and left everyone else guessing if they would ever return. The other participants of the trip had already left. Rather than spending more money on a van or bus, they had all decided on carpooling. Naruto had claimed he had no qualms with the decision because his father had offered to cover gas expenses.

Finally, a welcomed black SUV came rolling into the lot and stopped right next to the three of them. Naruto swung open the passenger door with a rather unique flair.

"You're late," Sasuke said blankly as he stared at the open car door.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "By like 5 minutes! Don't worry, I'll make up for it when we get on the road." He indicated the back of the Escalade with his thumb. "Throw your stuff in the back so we can go."

Sasuke hardly thought his best friend had any right to tell him to hurry up, but he listened without another word. Ino and Sakura exchanged knowing smiles and followed Sasuke's lead. After the three students had packed all their luggage, they took to their respective seats. Ino hopped into the passenger's seat and Sakura and Sasuke sat in the seats behind them. With everyone ready, Naruto drove out of the parking lot, crossed over the turnpike, and headed for their northeastern destination.

As the blond merged the expensive vehicle onto the freeway, Ino tapped his arm with an effervescent grin plastered on her fine features. "I'm so excited! I've never had the chance to ski before. Will you teach me when we get there, Naruto?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean I'm not really the teacher-type. You said yourself that they have instructors there, so you and Sasuke can learn together."

Naruto could practically feel the glare from his roommate behind him. The dark-haired student did not like it when people pointed out his inabilities and preferred others to think he was more than capable in most activities. Conversely, Naruto thought his friend needed to humble himself from time to time.

Sakura came to her boyfriend's rescue. "Sasuke won't be needing that, Naruto. I can teach him! I used to be an instructor at a ski resort in Japan, so he'll be skiing just fine in no time." She tactfully left out the information entailing she had been an instructor for children. Certainly, that would not have aided her boyfriend's pride in the situation.

Ino looked at Naruto, observing his eyes moving with the road and focused on the miles ahead of them. His jaw was set, strong like stone. She thought he looked so handsome with the way his cerulean eyes were concentrated and alert.

Ino's hand tightened as her motivation escalated towards her goal. This trip was going to change things, she told herself. She was going to confess her feelings to Naruto and make her intentions known. The coming talks between the two of them were going to be extremely intimate and informational. All of a sudden, Ino could sense a sharp point of elation advance beyond the motivation, leading further down the path towards her dreams. She decided she would follow after it.

She was shaken from her stupor by Naruto's cheery voice. He had caught her staring. "You alright?"

She prayed to some higher intelligence that her eyes were not betraying her. "Yeah, I just can't wait to get there!"

Naruto nodded and grinned. "Yeah, me too. But it'll be a while until we get there considering we have to practically cross the whole state."

The next several hours were filled with scattered conversations, listening to Naruto's rock playlist that was sporadically interrupted by Ino's pop music, and introspective thought between the four of them.

Finally, the late afternoon sun divulged the snow-capped behemoths that towered over the rest of the land like some pale sentries. Naruto turned off the freeway and circled around the cliffs towards the other side of the breathtaking peaks. They drove through a narrow valley that was mostly shadowed by the towering wonders adjacent to it. The snowy valley housed a medium-sized ski town where many young athletes traversed the streets with charismatic elegance. Naruto drove past the town without stopping as the entire group had decided to meet at the lodge at the bottom of the mountain.

Once they left the outskirts of the town, the road curved sharply and moved up. The weather reports had been correct when they covered the snowfall of the area. There was at least a foot of the white stuff out there, more in certain places, and was getting thicker the more they climbed. Naruto felt the engine hum with energy as the Escalade powered up the mountain. Sugared pine trees dotted around the road and the girls gazed with child-like wonder at the majesty of it all. Naruto and Sasuke shared the sense of awe but did so silently.

The northern face of the largest mountain showcased long, black lines and painted, wooden buildings that promised great comfort, as well as large slopes hinting at adventurous escapades. But the largest building was at the base of the slope and looked like some kind of mansion designed by lumberjacks. It was a long structure spanning two separate wings, boasting five stories, one enormous lobby with several minor lobbies attached to it, and a massive dining room.

The three passengers in the Escalade gawked as Naruto parked next to the expansive building. The blond, in turn, stared at the man-made spectacle as they all exited the vehicle.

"It's way bigger than their website implied it to be," Sakura said with her breath hitched.

Sasuke nodded with widened eyes. "Probably to illicit this type of reaction."

Naruto and Ino ran past the two of them with guileless expressions as they called back for them to follow. "Come on! We can get the luggage later!

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged amused smiles and followed their two friends. There was a doorman standing at the front doors of the lodge and he waved at them as they approached. He told them the rest of their party was waiting for them in the main lobby. They thanked the man and proceeded into a colossal, fresh-scented, room with hanging chandeliers crafted from antlers, and professional paintings and pictures decorated throughout the towering walls of the lobby. The lobby elevated ahead with wide, carpeted steps and relaxed guests idly meandering about in all directions. Most of the guests seemed to have been highly accustomed to such lavish lifestyles.

The four of Naruto's party identified the rest of their group next to the front desk on their left. The head of the Ski Club and the organizer of the trip itself, Kiba, appeared to be arguing with the desk clerk there. As Naruto and the others approached him, they could hear the audacious young man's raised voice. "Look, lady, I'm telling you we paid for ten rooms already!"

The desk clerk, a middle-aged woman with a tight ponytail, was typing anxiously away on her keyboard. "I understand, sir, but my records show that we only booked you for nine."

The fury in Kiba's dark eyes was burning. "Then what the hell did I pay for?! Just check the damn total I paid then? It should cover ten rooms, right?"

The clerk's lips were sunken into the rest of her mouth. "It does. But I'm afraid I just don't have another room for your party. We're completely booked this week and we've had to move many guests around lately. I will make sure you get a refund for your room and I can even get you some extra cots free of charge as well as some VIP passes to our private lounge, but that's all I can do for you."

Naruto quickly noted the presence of a sharp-dressed man, who was undoubtedly the manager, behind the counter who dipped into the back room with a smile. Kiba leaned on the counter with a barely satisfied grunt. "Alright, I guess that'll have to work." He begrudgingly took the keys and began handing them out to the trip members. When he got to Naruto, Kiba grinned brightly. "Well, it's about time! I thought we would be waiting up for you guys until midnight!"

Naruto returned his friend's grin. "As if you would even wait that long. So, I heard we're short on rooms?"

Kiba frowned as he held out the room keys. "Yeah, it sucks, huh? You and Sasuke will have to room with Shikamaru and me. The girls will also need to dual up with some of the other Ski Club members."

Naruto took the keys from Kiba's hand. "That's fine. We'll manage. We left our luggage in the car, so we'll meet you in the rooms."

Kiba then gave them some meeting times for later that night and basic directions of where the important locations were. Naruto and the others then ran outside to get their belongings and finally begin their vacation.

* * *

The distant sun irradiated the white slope and made the whole world clear enough to bring awareness to its windswept cracks and other flaws. Naruto swerved and dipped his body with his upper leg muscles to pass the natural hazards and obstacles in his way as he descended the mountain. People and trees whisked past his vision as he raced forward with careful precision and focused perception. He had learned the basics of skiing as a child and had impressed the instructor then with his natural abilities. If the same instructor could see him now, then he might have dropped his jaw in shock at the level of mastery Naruto was currently displaying. Apparently, the sport had a lot to do with muscle control and endurance, which were two attributes Naruto could happily boast about.

It was his first full day at the lodge and Naruto had decided to start it by going to the very top part of the mountain and drop down it. As he was descending, he surmised he could probably do this all day.

The blond rushed by a lower checkpoint where he noticed the gorgeous Ino learning the simplicities of how to ski. He expertly used his calves and slowed down to look up the slope at the amusing spectacle. He saw Ino drop onto the ramp and bring her knees close enough together to come shooting down faster than anybody had been expecting, her blue and white knit hat flying behind her like a flag caught in the wind. The instructor at the top appeared to have lost the color in his face as he gaped down the ramp in horror.

Naruto showed no alarm as he turned around and successfully matched Ino's speed down the slope. He turned his body and looked to his side where Ino was meeting him at the same pace. She turned to him with as much fear as could be expected as someone in her situation. He smiled confidently at her. "Use your hips to turn around obstacles in the snow," he called out over the sound of shredding snow. "It'll slow you down and give you more control. When you hit the bottom, extend your calves out and make your skis look like a pizza slice. The instructor mentioned the pizza slice part, right?"

Ino nodded with a flushed face that was still showing some fear, although it was drifting away by the bright smile she was witnessing before her. She followed the blond man's advice and used her hips as best she could. She was so surprised she never fell during the descent that she barely remembered any of it by the time they reached the bottom together. She extended her calves out like Naruto had told her and rushing snow finally seemed to catch up with her. Ino looked behind her to see Naruto lift his orange-tinted goggles over his forehead. His ocean-blue eyes faced her with all their splendor and she felt a stronger rush in her stomach than whatever she had felt coming down the mountain. His entire outfit was comprised of the solid colors of orange and black and even though it did make him stand out on the slope, it certainly looked tacky up close. Still, she had to admit even he made it look good.

"Did ya like going fast?" he asked with a shiny grin.

"I could have gone faster." Her deep breaths stole the confidence in her voice, but Naruto was gracious enough not to point it out.

"Great. Should we wait for the others or should we go get some—" He was suddenly struck by a gigantic rubber tube that immediately buried his face into the snow, robbing him of any suave attitude he had been attempting to convey.

Ino moved her startled eyes to the person on top of the tube. Kiba's strong laugh reverberated across the area as he got off the tube to help his friend up from his unfortunate position. "Sorry, Naruto. Didn't see you there."

The blond's face was red from the blood rushing there as he glared daggers at his friend's gall. "What the hell, man! This slope isn't for tubing! How did they let you up there with that damn thing!"

Kiba shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm going back up. You wanna come with?"

Naruto reached down to fling the greatest amount of snow he could at the cheeky bastard before he ran away, but Kiba was already happily trotting away up the slope with his tube in tow. Naruto turned to glance at Ino with an abashed expression and saw her burst into a fit of laughter. He blinked at her antics and somehow joined in as the full force of the last few moments hit him too. Sasuke and Sakura found the two of them at the bottom of the slope several minutes later and saw them still laughing. They could only stare at the odd scene with a mix of confusion and happiness as the two college students shared a ridiculous moment together.

Later that night, the slopes had been closed early due to a snow flurry and the occupants of the enormous lodge were all comfortably situated within the warm confines of the building. Naruto was seated at a round table in the private lounge on the top floor of the lodge with the other three members of his close-knit group around him. The crackle of the dancing fire was resounding from the other side of the room but its ancient warmth still managed to reach him. The dim clangor of the other guests around them barely muffled the noise of the fire and the whistling wind outside the gigantic windows on the side of the lounge that faced the slope.

Sakura, seated on Naruto's right, took a sip of her hot chocolate. "How are your guys' room arrangements going?"

Naruto groaned. "They would be just fine if Kiba had never brought his damn dog on the trip! That mutt woke me up at four in the morning with its slobbery mouth. Plus, it sheds everywhere and chews on our shoes!"

Sakura noted the passive glance Sasuke gave to indicate the dog bothered him as well, although not nearly as much as it did Naruto. Ino, on the other hand, chimed in from the other side of the table. "You guys are so lucky though! I love dogs. They're so cute and all they want to do is just play and love people."

Naruto's mouth slanted into some obtuse angle. "Yeah, well someone should tell them that people don't always want to play."

Sakura giggled and the subtle shift of Naruto's attention to it did not escape her notice. She cleared her throat. "Well, Ino and I are enjoying our roommates. Tenten and Hinata are just wonderful to be around."

"I'm sure they are considering they don't own a dog!" exclaimed Naruto. Sakura released some more giggles at that and Ino did the same.

Suddenly, Sakura was reminded of an important plan that had yet to be fully executed and turned to her boyfriend. "Well, Sasuke and I will now be going to explore the first floor of the hotel." One of Sasuke's eyebrows rose in puzzlement as he watched his girlfriend stand up from her seat. "Come on, sweetie. I think they have a bowling alley down there and I'd love to check that out." Sasuke obediently grabbed her hand as they retreated from the room.

Luckily, Naruto had not picked up the reasoning behind his friends' departure and Ino was left with him at the table alone. Surely, she would not mess up the golden opportunity. She held her warm cup of hot chocolate in both her hands. Naruto's eyes were focused on the fireplace beyond her. But when she began speaking to him, those cool orbs flickered over to her. "I had no idea you were so proficient at skiing."

"Yeah, I really liked it as a kid and I guess some of that stuff just kind of sticks," he said as one of his arms wrapped around the back of his chair. He was wearing a form-fitting thermal that really showed off his more impressive features. Ino ignored it to the best of her ability.

"Who taught you?"

"Mostly my dad."

Ino smiled sweetly. "Are you close with him?"

Naruto took a sip of his hot cider. "Yes, but not as close as I'm with my mom."

Ino tilted her head in interest. Her family had its own odd intricacies between them and were satisfied in the distance they cautiously placed. To hear about fine connections between family relations, pleasantly bemused her. "How so?"

An involuntary smirk had emerged on Naruto's face. "I've always kind of been my mother's son, if you know what I mean. A 'momma's boy.' She was always just kind of _there_ , ya know?" Ino nodded and allowed him to continue. "She's always been a stay-at-home mom even though she had a culinary degree. Although, that degree does always help out in her cooking." He chuckled then. "I'm always amazed at how hard she worked for me, taking care of me and all. I could never really understand how much she actually sacrificed for me." He paused. "I still don't."

Ino took a long swig of her drink, the melted chocolate coaxing her throat and allowing it to loosen to some level of freedom she had to obtain to speak properly. "Sounds like she's really important to you."

Naruto was as serious as she had ever seen him be, which frankly was not very often. "More than anything. I'm not very good at explaining things like this, but I feel very strongly about her. Sasuke is really close to me, but there are things I don't mention to him that I do to her." His eyes glazed over for a moment. "Things I could never tell him. Out of all the people I've ever known, Mom has seen me at my weakest moments more often than any other person. I think that means something about a person. I think that makes them extra special, ya know? Someone who knows you the most because they've been there when you needed them whether you knew it or not. That kind of connection is really important. It makes it so you continue to go to them with deeper and deeper things and become even more vulnerable with them. We all need someone like that, I guess. I think that's why people get married, so they can have someone be there when they need them. I think that sounds really amazing. My mom's really good at being that for me. I'm sure I'll eventually have a wife who's that for me when the time comes, but right now I'm just fine with my mom." There was a bloated second between the two of them that floated calmly about. The icy wind sighed against the huge window next to them, promising some eerie temperature of insight.

Without thinking, Ino's hand brushed over his. "I think you explained that beautifully, Naruto."

His face flushed from the compliment. "Thanks, I guess I surprise myself sometimes."

"Well, you definitely surprised me." She looked down at her cocoa and summoned the necessary courage. He had been open with her a little and that was something she cherished greatly. "You know, I'm not very close with my family."

Naruto's face flooded with almost instant empathy and attentiveness. That quality may have been the single most attractive thing about the man and there was nothing Ino could do about its potency. She managed to continue despite his latent power over her. "I mean I have great parents and a wonderful older sister who has always looked out for me, but I've always struggled with what I needed to be for them." Her brow creased a little as she tried to concentrate on her words. She knew she was coming off a bit strong all of a sudden, but she had to do this. She had to make herself known to him. "When I was little, my parents had a divorce. Needless to say, it was pretty traumatic and I had trouble as a kid because of it. For several years, I had problems with other kids and my emotions about the separation. I thought I had to put on a smile for my parents and show them I could manage it all, that I could handle whatever was thrown at me. I could tell it really helped them and gave them some strength. Remarkably, after a while, they got back together. Isn't that crazy? They actually re-married! I remember everyone, including myself, being really shocked about it. It's a thing you only ever hear about happening, but they somehow made it work."

"The funny thing is that you would think I would have found some kind of resolution within that reunion, but I didn't. I only found more agony. I thought they were back together because of _me_ , you see. I thought for some crazy reason that I had been responsible for this amazing thing, that my very attitude had just magically changed everything! It put more pressure on me and I kept working hard to make sure they were happy for most of my childhood and into my teenage years. High school was easier, I suppose, because I had figured out how to balance myself and not cause trouble for anyone. My sister had gone to college and I was left by myself to try to keep things stable. Things got shaky sometimes, but I managed to hold the family together. I felt like I was constantly watching a top being placed on a wire, running around trying to make sure it wouldn't fall off." A sad smile crossed over her and she could not erase it. It was a part of her and she had to show it to him. "Eventually, I realized what the whole balancing act was doing to me, and I just kind of stopped trying. I became apathetic to my family. They didn't even really respond to that, as if they were just waiting for it and had barely noticed any of my prior accomplishments." Her eyes sharpened then. "I think I may hate them a little for that. It's like they never even cared about what I tried to do. I sometimes wonder if they ever viewed me as a nuisance, but that's a little cold, I think. I know they love me and I love them too, but there's just a lot of scars there, I guess. Scars that I suppose are going to take a while to heal."

Ino finally took a deep breath and moved her eyes up to see what Naruto's reaction was. To her bewilderment, he looked almost apologetic, appearing as if he himself had wronged her in some odd, indirect fashion no one could have predicted. He swallowed as he realized she was finished. "I'm sorry to hear that happened to you, Ino, that it still is happening to you." Simply by the tone in his voice, she knew he was sincere. "I had no idea you struggled with all of that. I can't imagine the pain and stress it took for you to be working like that. A family shouldn't be like that at all and you grew up thinking it had to."

Ino fidgeted with her cup. "Well, I think I was being a little melodramatic there. I mean—'

Naruto interrupted her adamantly. "No, you shouldn't downsize something like that, Ino. You were being honest with your past and it's important for you to be real with it."

It was then Ino noticed they were alone in the lounge. Everyone else had retired for the night and the glow of the fire had died down considerably to the point of crispy silence. The only sounds present there now were their own voices and the wailing wind outside. The snowflakes were heavier now and glowed blue from the moonlight that creeped through the dusky clouds in the night sky.

Her surprise drifted away with the snowflakes and Ino responded: "You're right. I shouldn't undermine my experiences." Her pale blue eyes shined in the dim, firelit room. "Thank you, Naruto."

The blond man was miraculously caught in a web neither of them had spun. It was a web derived of intentional words and fortunate circumstances. Naruto knew where his feelings of affection were placed and now it felt like he could put those aside. Maybe not forever, maybe not even completely, but Sakura would have to step aside. He had to stop putting her in front of everything, and while it would be painful and probably a tad unfair to himself, he had to do it.

He would accept Ino.

"You're welcome, Ino," he said. "You're a very special person, you know."

Ino could see it. There was some subtle sign of acceptance within Naruto's eyes that she could actually see clearly now. There had only ever been a wall there, a type of obstacle she had to avoid using her hips. She felt a smile creep across her lips as she thought about how it reminded her of skiing. She felt the air circle around her and give her the proper energy.

She could tell him now.

"Naruto, I like you," she confessed. Naruto did not show much surprise, just the base amount it took to hear such a confession. Despite that, he allowed her to continue. "I'd like to, well, start something with you. A relationship, I suppose. I think you're an amazing guy and have been such a good friend to me these past few months. I also think you're really attractive and I would be a lucky gal if I had you as my significant other. You were right about how we all need that special person in our life that we can confide in. And while I could never replace a figure like your mother, I'd like to try being someone special, nonetheless."

Naruto suddenly leaned over the table and kissed her. It was a simple kiss and not her first, but it carried her out into the snow, pleasantly throwing her into the frigid wind that excited her very core and demonstrated a thorough picture of wonder and joy to her.

Their lips separated and she leaned her head against his broad shoulder. She felt relieved and safe finally. It was all fine now and the world was made simple for a moment. "I like you too, Ino," Naruto's voice said and they laughed mildly at that. "I would love for you to be a special person in my life."

Naruto felt a bittersweet chill run through his spine. It was comprised of an odd blend of gratitude and disillusionment. Sakura had pitied him enough to give him Ino and that only made her a greater figure in his eyes. While he had not been lying when he said he liked Ino too, it was not as if his heart was completely hers yet. Something like that would take time, but he would do it. He had to give it all to someone who would accept it and that was just not going to be Sakura. It simply could not happen.

Still, somewhere deep in his heart where the wailing wind brushed through his knotted branches, he carried a sliver of hope.

* * *

 **Finally! 2016 is actually over with! What a year. I just wish this year is better than the last and less shitty, but one can only hope, right? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this nice little chapter. It was one of the first ideas I had about this story and I'm glad it turned out like this. I would greatly enjoy to hear about every little thought or comment you have about the story thus far. Please, shoot me a review or PM to let me know what you think.**

 **Unfortunately, my internship will be starting next week, so updates will be spaced out even more, I'm afraid. However, I do promise they will come, so look out for those!**

 **-CM**


	8. Four Lovers

Chapter 8: Four Lovers

 _"Do not be afraid; our fate_  
 _Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift."_

- _Dante Alighieri, Inferno_

* * *

The hazed sky displayed the illusion of gray to the point where blue was a mere dream; it was not even the weather's fault because the clouds were too dreary to prevent such luxuries. Winter's presence had approached that crest of instability that only the fibers of the body could identify. To the trained mind, a being could describe the feeling of hardened awareness, but that would fall short. The day was almost too still to motivate an individual to stop and collect themselves, wrapping their minds around the oddities of it all. In order to properly appreciate the day, a man had to understand his personalities in a negative fashion.

If Naruto knew how to explain the way the sea breeze ruffled through his hair or the formations of the way the clouds caused a gloomy spectacle on the ocean's horizon, he would have felt more distant. His only anchor to the reality of winter's nature was the beautiful blonde's hand holding his own. They had decided to spend that Sunday afternoon at the beach before they were supposed to go to Naruto's house, and Naruto sensed an inkling of balance in the decision.

The second week of classes for that semester was going to start the next day, and they had decided on enjoying their meager amount of time off. They were laying on a beach towel at the top of the sandy hill that overlooked the sea. Because of the forecast, there was hardly anyone on the beach. The dull sounds of the waves crashing were all Naruto heard until Ino's voice spoke close to his ear: "It's beautiful out, isn't it?"

He had been wondering the same thing. "Is it?" he asked.

A tiny smile was evident on her features. "Yeah, I think it is. Although, it's not the same kind of beauty that a bright, sunny day has. These are the days that make those bright ones even brighter. I think that's because you need a contrast to highlight some things."

Why was she talking about this? It was almost too dismal to drift with these thoughts right now because of the weather. They just didn't match. "Is that beauty then? Or is that just a tool for it?"

"I think something is beautiful even it's just helping something else."

Naruto smirked. "So this day is just a 'helper?'"

She turned to him with a look he had never seen before; it was bathed in some wisdom. Her fingers squeezed around his own, as if she thought they were going to slip away. "Yes, and I think that's the most beautiful day of all. Without the helpers in the world, nothing would be as nice as it is."

"I see," he said. There was a question he wanted to ask her then, but it was such a quick thought that it disappeared without any development. Before Naruto could try to scour his mind for the fleeting question, Ino began to giggle.

Her laughter was bubbly enough to make the chilly day seem far brighter. "Your face looked so serious for a second. Oh, look at us, Naruto! We've been dealing with Dr. Nara's classes for too long now. His lectures have been affecting our thoughts way too much. Maybe we shouldn't have signed up for another one of his classes this semester."

He smiled easily. "No, it was a good idea. But you're probably right about listening to his lectures for too long."

She felt this was a good time to digress and looked over at Naruto's wristwatch. "When are we supposed to be over at your folks' place again?"

Naruto could feel his chest squeeze with nervousness at the thought. "Soon," he stated apprehensively.

Ino seemed to pick up on his reluctance quickly. Considering they had only been dating for over a month now, he found her skill in reading him to be a little scary. "What's wrong?"

He tried to feign a laugh. "Nothing's wrong."

Her stern eyes pierced right through him. "I don't believe you," she said simply.

Naruto grimaced. "It's just— well, this dinner will start something between us. Something really serious, ya know?"

Honestly, Naruto was fearful of Ino and his family together. He had already introduced her to them formally, but it had been in passing when they had visited him at the college a week earlier. This time, they were all going to be together for a long interval of time, and the idea of that kind of intimacy between all of them simply terrified him. He was fairly certain even Sasuke and Sakura had barely met one another's parents.

Naruto knew it all started with the parents. Once the basic introductions and formalized jargon passed, the connections would form. It would reach a pseudo-family level not long after that. With that level, a couple could then begin to bond with each other and divide their parts to the other people around them. They would become a conjoined person that traveled and dispersed when needed but was still ultimately known as a "couple." Thus, they would no longer be seen as two separate people and everyone in their circle would be aware of it. Their meals would almost always be eaten together and work would be just an excuse to raise up the yearning for one another. It would all become solidified. Hopefully, it would be done so through caramelization; it would be sweet, easy. But somehow he knew it wouldn't be so simple. He knew it would probably be more like a chalky hardening, as if it were concrete that calcifies grotesquely into a crumbling existence. With that unstable foundation, very few could be permitted to keep the façade going. Certainly, Naruto couldn't be expected to hold that all up? And the worst thing about that premonition, _the absolute very worst_ , was that he would inevitably regret it. In that situation, with the world falling under his feet and the scene of the suffering playing through his head, he would wish he hadn't wasted his time with Ino. He always knew a relationship had to be something where a person could be with another and in the likelihood of it failing, they would look back and say it was all worth it. But frankly, his relationship with Ino was not like that.

It was a bandage.

"Don't be like that, sweetie," Ino said, rescuing him from his thoughts. "That's all supposed to happen, you know that. That's what going steady means, right?"

Naruto turned his eyes toward her, as if she was going to disappear if he looked away. "Yeah, it is. I'm just being difficult. Again, sorry about that."

She leaned forward and kissed him. "All is forgiven. Now what should I wear?"

After their towel was rolled up and they had left the beach in Naruto's rusty Pinto, the waves kept up their never-ending charge against the beach.

* * *

Sakura closed her car door with her rear, her hands occupied with shopping bags. She put her cell phone in her mouth, forgetting her pockets and strutted with no style towards her room. She found Sasuke outside of her dorm room, and he smiled when he saw her.

"Got enough bags?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes and dropped some bags to get her keys. Her phone fell out of her mouth and Sasuke reached down to pick it up.

"Thanks," she said after he handed it back to her. "My brain's all over the place. I even skipped classes to go shopping because I hoped it would calm me down." She unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Sasuke had an amused expression as he followed her into the room. "Did it help?"

She dropped the bags onto her floor. "Not at all."

"Well, what's wrong? Maybe I can help."

Sakura did not meet his eyes. There was no way she could be honest with him about _this_. "It's just been everything piling up. Classes and life are just a little overwhelming right now."

He seemed satisfied with that answer and sat on her bed. She wanted to tell him the truth, but she could barely understand her own thoughts about the topic of her friends.

Naruto and Ino were together. When they got back from the ski trip, the blonde couple had told them of their relationship. Sakura _was_ happy for them, but there was another fleeting idea underneath her emotion. She was not even sure if the feeling was an emotion but more of an insight that drifted across her senses, like a flowing curtain attached to an open window.

Sakura had been fine when Naruto was single and alone. He was a figure that could be there when she needed him, _if_ she needed him. But now he was an anomaly attached to another anomaly that could mix together to form a question she did not want to ask herself. It was not fair, she told herself. She did not want this fleeting feeling. She was the one who had gotten them together because she did not want them to be lonely. She had played matchmaker, hoping they would find some happiness but by doing so, she had made a grave mistake: she was hurting herself in the process.

She knew why this was hurting her, but she just could not admit the truth to herself.

Not yet, anyways.

She suddenly noticed something in her hand. A small, black box had been placed there almost out of thin air. She turned to see her boyfriend's eager eyes. She blinked. "For me?"

"Open it," he said.

She slid off the lid and pulled out a gold-chained necklace. Her immediate and permanent thought was: it looks gross. An emerald that was supposed to match her eyes, yet failed miserably, was set into a gold pendant. It was gaudy and the color of green reminded her of vomit. She did not even want a necklace.

"Do you like it?" Sasuke asked.

"I love it," she lied.

He stood up. "Let me put it on for you." He took it from her and clasped it around her neck. They both looked into her mirror on her dresser, and he smiled at her from their reflections. "You look beautiful," he said to ears that did not listen. Her fake smile was enough to convince him but not herself. The necklace clashed with her outfit as it would with most of them, and she felt like she was being treated unfairly by everyone.

It was a small thing, she knew. An insignificant thing that did not matter to anyone. It could be easily forgotten. But she would not forget how she felt. She would remember her feelings and her treatment. She knew this was a beginning to a faraway destruction that was inevitable for all of them. They would have to endure the pain and patch themselves up for more agony. She was pretty good at handling arduous situations, but she wanted to avoid the imminent devastation. Yet she also welcomed the idea. It would be a drastic change to everything and she found herself curious. It was on the other side of the bridge, she told herself. She would handle it then the way she would need to.

One thing was certain right now, she mused, the necklace was ugly.

* * *

"Where's Mom?" Naruto asked as he helped set the table for dinner.

Naruto noted the way his father's eyes stared loosely at the silverware. "She's at her doctor's appointment. She should be finished with it soon."

Naruto frowned slightly as Ino walked into the room from her trip to the restroom. They had both arrived a few minutes ago, and it was not difficult to feel the tension in the air. "What for? A check-up?"

Minato swallowed quickly. He kept his face calm. "I don't know." And that was the truth.

Ino grabbed a plate from her boyfriend's hands. She did not like the way his face contorted at the moment. "Can I help set the table?"

Naruto smiled, cracking his steeled visage. "Of course, Ino." After the table was ready, Minato brought over the roast he had prepared. Despite his wife having impressive culinary skills, Minato was fairly confident in his own cooking. He placed the roast in the center of the table and sat down with a large grin on his face. There was an uneasiness that settled in his blue eyes, which Ino found to be a slightly darker shade of blue than Naruto's, and it seemed to permeate the dining room.

Naruto knew his father quite well, and it was typically obvious when he was bothered by something. It took him a long time to realize that the subtle changes in the face that depicted his father's upheaval was the same that appeared on his own face whenever turmoil approached: eyes that were centered but not focused and the gentle creases in the forehead, just faint enough to not stand out. Although, the clearest sign was surely the movement of the jaw that drifted up and down, then tensed when matters grew worse. Naruto had learned this sign before the others.

Without anyone saying anything to him, Minato jumped out of his stupor and smiled warmly at Ino. "So, Ino, right?"

"Yes." She returned the smile. Naruto looked between the two of them with a mix of intrigue and concern.

"I'm glad you could finally come over, Ino. My wife and I have really been looking forward to it."

Ino wondered if conveying his absent wife's civilities was as awkward to say as it was to hear. "Of course, Mr. Uzumaki. I've been looking forward to it as well. You have such a lovely house, by the way."

Ino genuinely loved the house. It was a broad, two-story building which she had noted to be recently painted a rich caramel color. The furnishings had that motherly feminine touch that was par with expert interior decorators that displayed a mixture of family portraits and hand painted landscapes. There was an exquisite, polished staircase that rose to the second floor that Ino admired from the dining room. The kitchen was wide with a gigantic island in the center topped with a great slab of black marble. The dining table was even captivating, with its molding and skilled woodwork detailed into the redwood.

Minato grinned, a smile very similar to his son's, his nervous behavior ebbing away gently. Ino could easily see where Naruto got his dashing good looks from. "Thank you, Ino. Kushina supervised the recent renovations we had herself, and she's pretty proud of them. I am too, of course."

Naruto stuck his fork into a fat helping of the roast and shoveled it onto his plate. "Not like Dad could have done it. He would have probably fallen asleep while the renovators were working."

Minato laughed at the quip. "Too true, I'm afraid."

Ino felt herself easing into the now-comfortable atmosphere. She was so happy to find out that Naruto's family was spectacular. She knew families were beyond important for long-term relationships and were usually make-or-break situations for a reason. She had really hit the jackpot and was grateful for it. She thought this as she took her first bite of the mouth-watering meat. The fact they were good cooks too was just icing on the cake.

Minato had just swallowed a nice mouthful of delicious flesh when he asked Naruto about how the new semester was going.

Naruto had just finished answering the question when suddenly the water levels rose and the drowning effect began.

Kushina opened the front door and stepped in, her expression trying desperately to conceal the grief. "I'm home," she said. She knew her husband suspected something almost immediately. Twenty-five years of marriage would do that, she thought dryly. She calmly walked across the foyer and sat at the dinner table on the other side of the room. She quickly noticed the presence of her son's girlfriend and smiled brightly, her face eliminating all coldness.

"Hello, Ino. Wonderful to have you over! I'm so sorry I was late."

Ino waved her hand and told her it was no trouble.

Minato hid his mouth behind his hand, but his voice was clear and unmuffled. "How was your appointment, dear?"

Kushina knew her husband was trying to act casual, but the grave look on his face gave away his intentions much too hastily. "It was fine, sweetheart. I'll tell you two more about it later. Right now, though, I need to test if your skills have gotten rusty." She was trying so hard to appear intact and when she tasted her husband's cooking, it only made the grief thicker.

Naruto did not like the way his mother suppressed herself so nonchalantly in front of them. They all knew something was wrong, and later when she would finally tell them what was going on, his world would feel a lot more fragile. His sense of reality would become warped and frantic, as if it was suddenly something so different that nothing else seemed important before it. The water would rise higher and higher until everything was steeped to the point of suffocation. He would drown in these unfortunate circumstances, and this was his first thought on the terrible issue.

He aimlessly prayed it would be his last.

* * *

Sakura felt much better.

The creaminess of the cheesecake coated her tongue and thrilled her taste buds deliciously. She let out a small groan as she enjoyed the exhilarating taste of the treat.

Sasuke beamed at her as he took a bite of his own dessert. It _was_ really good and considered some of the best cheesecake in this part of the state. He had ordered blueberry while she had chosen strawberry.

"Now this is what I needed, Sasuke," Sakura said after she swallowed. "Thanks for taking me here. You're the best."

"Of course! I knew this would fix you right up."

Sakura had not been lying, but she had not been completely truthful either. Her stress was gone, but there was the fleeting feeling of regret still implanted in her heart. She knew it was never going to go away now that it was there, unless she restructured everything. At that point, however, the fleeting feeling would be the last of her concerns. She knew hiding problems would not help anyone, but she knew the truth would not do much good either.

"Classes are going to be a bitch this year, Sasuke," she said mellowly. She sensed the unusual heaviness around her neck, the green necklace lamentably hanging there.

"How so?" he asked politely.

"They're just going to be so taxing. I'm gonna have to write like five essays before mid-terms even start and like another six after that. I swear professors should just forget about passing out syllabi if all they're gonna do is stress everyone out."

There was only an inkling of unease in her words because Sasuke's aloof attitude and the cheesecake kept her calm. "That is a lot of work, but you've had worse."

"That's true."

Her schooling in Japan was far more rigorous than her current one. However, that had been more study-and-test-dependent while her American schooling was more focused on writing comprehension. Also, she knew Japanese universities were almost always easier than their high schools were. Because she did not want to get lazy when it came to work based off her principles, she had opted for the States. She had asked for this, she supposed.

Sasuke finished off his cake and leaned into the red leather of the booth. The little café was fairly quiet this Sunday evening, despite its popularity. "My classes are going to be pretty easy. Business classes usually are."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so full of shit."

Sasuke smiled. "Manners, young lady. Your tongue is far too sweet to be saying such sour things."

"Fuck you—" she giggled as he leaned over the table and gave her a steamy kiss.

She really did feel better. It was almost normal when they had moments like this. She could play through the nice memories in her mind and add these little, tender ones to the mental reel. It allowed her to forget about the reality of her heart and that was her being merciful.

After Sasuke returned back to his seated position, Sakura decided to be bold. "Naruto and Ino have been doing well, it seems," she stated offhandedly.

Sasuke's wide grin did not calm her. "Yeah, I'm so happy for the both of them. It's amazing how similar and yet how different they are from each other. It's like you're watching a good romance flick when you observe their interactions."

"Yeah." She supposed that was what it was like, but she certainly did not enjoy this movie. She had initially thought she would too. It would be ironic if it did not feel so horrible. "They're remarkably good at seeing how the other thinks and sacrificing what they want for the other's benefit, even if it hurts them by doing so." Truthfully, she felt that trait was strongly utilized by Ino and only used by Naruto as a way to appear selfless, but she certainly was not going to mention that fact to Sasuke. He was already looking at her with surprise.

"That's a pretty astute observation, Sakura. I had no idea you were so focused on their relationship."

"I'm not," she lied. The truth was becoming easier to avoid, she thought. "I just think they're cute and after I realized that the reason they are is because of their sacrifices, I ended up thinking about it for a while."

"Was the reason you thought about it because you were questioning if our relationship possessed that level of altruism too?"

"Actually, yes," she said. She enjoyed it when their conversations had a good balance of precise vocabulary; it made her feel like they were a classy, intelligent couple. "And after thinking about it, I reached a nice consensus."

Sasuke's eyes gleamed; they reminded Sakura of charcoal. "And what was that?"

"That we're much more sacrificial than they are."

"Oh really? And what brought you to that conclusion?"

Sakura shrugged and ate the last of her wonderful cheesecake. Knowing that it was going to be gone, she thought the cheesecake tasted the best with the last bite. "Well, I mean look at us, sweetie. We're both doing well as far as success goes. You'll surely join your father in his business overseas and probably take it over after a few years, and I'll undoubtedly become a great doctor one day. We would easily sacrifice whatever we needed to in order for us to reach those goals of ours. Even putting our careers aside, I know we'd probably take care of each other and give away any of our bad additions if they were ever deemed as damaging to us."

Sasuke nodded. "You said it well, my dear."

Of course, Sakura had been lying about most of that. Sasuke would definitely do all those things for her and she would have too, before her thoughts had changed that is. Maybe she would end up doing them even if it only made her look like less of a bitch. She realized she would do a lot of things if she came out looking like a decent human being. She was not sure if lying to her heart was one of them, but so far it seemed to be.

So, Sakura was stuck. At least she had enjoyed her cheesecake.

* * *

If it was not for Ino's presence, Naruto was positive he would have been even more of a wreck.

"I'm not going to tell you it's gonna be OK, Naruto," she said tenderly. Her lips were centimeters from his ear. "But I will tell you that I'm here for you, no matter what."

They were laying on his bed back in his dorm and Naruto was grateful. "Thanks, Ino." After Ino had excused herself to the bathroom again that night back during dinner, Kushina had told him and his father what the doctor had said. He had just finished relaying the message to Ino as he knew he would need to eventually.

Naruto closed his eyes and wanted desperately to forget the worry that had been hammered into his mother's eyes. "I know it probably seems so unfair that this is happening to your mother," Ino whispered. "But nowadays, chemotherapy has become more and more successful. The risk of death has been getting lower every day for breast cancer patients." Statistically, she was correct. She only wished that statistics were soothing.

Naruto clenched his teeth and could feel the bone stress under the pressure. He yearned to be flung forward into the future when all of this had passed away and circumstances were ideal again. His mother had mentioned they had not yet confirmed the presence of the cancer through a biopsy, but they all knew she had it despite this. "I know she'll probably be all right, Ino," his words felt soft as he heard them leave his mouth. "When she said she was going to survive, I could tell she believed that much. The doctor that will be handling her treatments is one of the best in the country, so I know she's in good hands. But that's not what bothers me. No matter what, she's going to have to _suffer_. My mom's going to have go through extreme pain, embarrassment, discomfort, and emotion because of this awful disease. And there's not a thing I or anybody else can do about it."

Ino lowered her eyes and buried her face into his neck. "You must feel so powerless right now, Naruto. You don't deserve this, and I can't imagine how terrible you must feel. But I'll be here with you through all of it, if you'll have me."

Naruto reached for his hand and squeezed it. If their relationship had been a crutch for him before, it was now a full-blown wheelchair at this point. He was simply using her comfort and he felt like scum because of it. But he could not have the one that would surely bring him real comfort at the moment. Just the very thought of having the person of his desires next to him relieved the anxiety in his chest. Even though Ino was merely a substitute, she still helped. Naruto knew she loved him completely by now. She really was a great girl and her loyalty to him was undoubtedly her best quality. If matters ever got to the point where he would have to let her go, then he would feel like the cruel villain, and he would probably still be fine with that. As long as he had someone in the end, he could live on with his purpose.

The next several months were going to be harsh, and Ino would be there to aid his agony. He would probably even become used to the scenario after a while and that made it all seem merciless. But that was how the world functioned, and it was important to have the right people around to make the trial a little easier to bear. And that's what he would do: he would clench his fists, allow Ino to wrap her arm around his, tell everyone how great he was doing. and he would bear it. He would take the full force of this relentless storm if it meant that there was even a sliver of happiness and promise at the end of it. He would be there for his mother and father just like Ino would be for him. He could do it, he told himself. He would make it through it.

"Thank you, Ino. I'm glad you're here." He meant that. He really was glad she was there for him, even if she was not the first person he would have asked for. Over time, he knew he would cope with her existence and probably end up finding it to be better to have her than Sakura. The future was promising despite its thorny patches. There was plenty of hope to cling to and his optimism was taking over again.

He would be just fine.

The more he repeated that over in his mind, however, the less he believed it.

* * *

 **Well, this is definitely the longest break I've ever taken and that's not a record I'm proud of. My internship is killing me, to put it bluntly. I'm working the hardest I've ever had to in my entire life, and it drains me so much mentally that writing has been difficult, especially a piece as heavy as this one. However, that won't stop me from updating when I can. I'll try not to take this long to finish the next chapter, but I don't want to promise anything at this point.**

 **Anyways, I hope 2017 has been good for all of you so far. I'm going to attend like five weddings this year already, so it's looking pretty promising on my end. As always if you have any questions or comments, feel free to let me know. You guys are wonderful!**


	9. Come on Down

Chapter 9: Come on Down

" _And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering."_

 _-Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath_

* * *

Sakura could not sleep.

Who could really blame her? Things had been so stable, so perfect, at one point and now they were not. Everything had become incredibly conflicted for her. First, it was her morphing feelings, then it was her view of her friends, and now it was the actual events surrounding everybody. Why did it all have to happen at once? Wouldn't it be far fairer for things to come one at a time, especially those specific ones that took a lot of concentration and time? She surmised the world didn't care if it was fair or not. She could only control what she could handle.

But that wasn't much.

Sakura turned her head over, trying to find a cooler patch on her pillow. Her eyes quickly locked onto her roommate's sleeping form across from her. She looked so happy, despite her partner's circumstances. Ino had told her about Naruto's mother a couple weeks ago. Since then, Sakura's feelings had become even more complex. On the occasion when she saw them together, she felt a disturbing tug on her heart. She had missed her chance and was suffering for it. She wanted to be the one to comfort him. She wanted to be the one to tell him everything would work out. She wanted to be there with his family. She wanted to be with him.

When Sakura really thought about it, she realized she had always been attracted to the blond. She just wasn't very good with men. She viewed her ability with them as something akin to darts; when she aimed at the board and made her sincerest shot, she would almost always miss her target and land somewhere else entirely. She just wasn't accurate.

Sasuke was not a bad guy, far from it actually. He had just showed interest first, and she found that to be the single most attractive quality he possessed. He was upfront about his feelings with her, and she could tell that was rare for the man. He was not used to showing such transparency to a person. She was pretty perceptive and picked up on Naruto's reaction to Sasuke's affection for her. The blond, who knew him better than anyone, was surprised at his behavior and that meant it was unusual. Of course, this revelation made her feel special. But that is what she was in love with, if she was completely honest with herself. She loved how special she was around Sasuke, and that was not healthy.

And it was not love.

When Sakura concentrated on this particular thought, her eyes became hot and she felt her body begin to shake. Her throat was like sandpaper, and she felt the impulse to swallow more than usual. She didn't love Sasuke. Somehow, that thought was almost liberating, as if she was enjoying some fresh air for the first time in a while. But, then again, did she really know what love was? As a literature lover, she knew that was a question many great authors and poets had pondered for centuries. And many were satisfied with the answers they found, but not everybody was. So, did that mean there was an objective definition for it or was it sorely reliant on a person's personal experience? What did love look like? Was it sacrificial? Was it kind as a basis? Did it really know what it wanted?

Was it blind?

Sakura sat up in her bed at that thought. Where did she hear that before? That sounded really interesting. She was almost certain it was Shakespeare. She hastily threw aside her sheets and got out of her bed. She rushed to her desk and opened the lower drawer. She flicked on her little desk light. It was not bright, so she was positive it would not wake Ino. She shuffled through her jumbled mess of books in the drawer, most of them she knew she would probably never pick up again after her classes were done. She sensed a rush of excitement when she found what she was looking for: a thick, red book.

Emblazoned on the cover in cursive letters it read: _A Collection of Shakespeare's Plays_. When she was in Japan, she remembered learning about the famous writer, but it wasn't until she took a class in the States did she fully understand what the big deal was. Sakura flipped through some pages to find what she was looking for. She knew the famous quote, " _Love is blind_ ," was mentioned in a different play by Shakespeare, but the line really made her think of his most well-known work.

When she saw the familiar piece in the book, she began to read from the very beginning of the play and didn't stop reading until her little desk light was drowned out by the greater light from outside. When the sunlight pulled her away from her reading, she heard her roommate wake up.

"Sakura?" Ino blinked at her friend and yawned. "What are you doing?"

Sakura took a deep breath and closed her book. "Just reading. I couldn't sleep."

"Were you reading all night?"

Sakura smirked and stared at the window, wondering if she saw a cloud or not. "I was. I'm not even tired, though."

Ino ran a hand through her disheveled hair. Her bedhead was notorious for being ridiculous in the morning. She prayed her boyfriend would never find out about that; the boy did not need any more ammo against her. "What were you reading?" she asked as she stretched her arms.

Sakura held up the book for her to see. "Just _Romeo and Juliet_."

Ino's surprise was not unwarranted. "Huh? Why the hell would you read that? Is it for a paper or something?" She was positive the play was not really covered in college, at least for undergraduate classes. Still, why else would someone read it?

"No, I'm reading it for leisure. Have you read it?"

"Yeah, in high school! It's kind of a dull read, though. The best part is the ending because the rest feels a little too…well, dry."

Sakura smiled and looked down at the cover of the book. "No, I don't think so. It's really a beautiful story. I first read it when I was in Japan, although we read the watered-down Japanese text. This one is the original, and it's far better in my opinion." Sakura giggled sheepishly. "It's a little embarrassing, you know. One of the most influential pieces in literature, and I'm not that familiar with it."

Ino shrugged. "If you say so. Anyways, I'm going to take a shower then head down to breakfast. You coming?"

"Yeah, I don't have class till this afternoon, but I'll catch up with you later. I'm going to finish this first."

Ino rolled her eyes and grabbed a mostly-fresh towel from her hamper. "Whatever. See you down there."

After Ino had left to the bathroom, Sakura opened the book back up and found where she had left off. As she read the crux of the fifth act, Sakura resolved herself. Honestly, she didn't understand her own heart when it came to love. Her own feelings towards Naruto may have just been centered around jealousy. She may have just wanted the way he made Ino feel special, like the way she wanted Sasuke's attention. Maybe she was actually the scum of the earth and could not be satisfied unless she was the only one happy in the whole world, like she was some kind of greedy monster that had to suck everything up for herself.

So, she would put her feelings to the test.

She would give Naruto and her heart a chance by allowing them to speak to one another. She wasn't completely sure how she would do it, but Shakespeare's words floated through her mind, drawing and discarding plans as they were being created. She couldn't have doubts when it came to this because if she was wrong…

Just because life was unfair did not mean she had to be like that to those around her. After she finished the famous play and closed the book, her resolve calcified. She knew what she was going to do, and she hoped the result would be favorable.

After her shower, Ino felt refreshed and entered the dorm room with a pleasant expression on her face. When she noticed Sakura staring at the wall with fiery eyes, she became curious. "What's up?"

Sakura shot her a look she was not accustomed to when it came to her roommate; it was strong, fortified. "Hey, Ino, do you want to go on a double date?"

* * *

Naruto shook his arm to free the sauce from the spoon. It fell onto the dough, and he placed the bottom of the large spoon to spread the sauce around. After that, he handed the incomplete pie over to his best friend. Sasuke grabbed it and took it over to the station for topping. Naruto then reached for another pan and a ball of dough.

He repeated the procedure like a mantra until he heard Lee's jubilant voice call to him. "Naruto, my friend, could you aid our generous boss with the new shipment of glorious supplies?"

Naruto frowned at his boisterous co-worker. "Can you try saying that with fewer words?"

Sasuke chuckled on the other side of the kitchen. "Don't be such an ass. Go help."

The blond sighed and dropped the dough he was working on. He pointed to Lee then to the pan. "Could you finish this up for me while I help our 'generous' boss?"

Lee, to Naruto's chagrin, saluted him. "You got it, my esteemed friend!"

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose and retreated to the back while hearing Sasuke continue to laugh behind him. He ambled down the back hall and stepped outside. He saw Guy's tall figure heaving a large box down from the supplier's truck.

When the muscular man saw him, he grinned at the boy. "Ah, Naruto! Come here, my boy, and help me with this. It's a testament to youth to use your muscles in manual labor, yes?"

Naruto groaned inwardly and nodded. He moved over to the truck and helped his boss unload the truck. This was a little unusual for the blond. Most of the time, Lee and Guy unloaded the shipments from the truck and Naruto and Sasuke consolidated everything in the back. Lee and Guy typically turned their work into a healthy competition to see who could unload the most boxes. Naruto did not know the current score nor did he care about it.

Guy must have been reading his thoughts because after a little while the boss turned to him and said: "You're probably thinking why you're out here, huh?"

Naruto blinked. "Uh, yeah, actually."

Guy nodded, as if he shouldn't have even commented on that. "Your father called me yesterday. He told me about your mother."

Naruto swallowed and his eyes widened, but he said nothing.

"I'm sorry," Guy said. "If there's anything I can do, I hope you'll let me know."

"I will," Naruto croaked out. Guy had known his father for many years, so it was not like he wasn't expecting this. It just felt too foreign. "Thanks."

The bushy-browed boss gave him a massive grin. "Of course, young man! Feel free to take a pizza home to your parents tonight. Take a large one. It's on me."

Naruto's eyes widened. It was not often his boss would give out such an offer. "Wow, thanks, Guy."

"No problem." Guy's eyes settled down and were placid. Naruto thought they almost looked sad. "Now then, let's finish this."

Naruto nodded and brought down another box. They finished unloading the truck and started moving the boxes onto a handcart. As they were lumbering the supplies into the back, Naruto swam into his thoughts.

Guy was a great boss, he mused, and Naruto was thankful for that. It was certainly nice of him to show concern about his mother, but there was another feeling that intermingled with the grateful one. He was going to have get used to this; when people looked at him sadly with concern about his family's well-being. Those looks of pity were going to really bother him, not because he thought they were fake or misplaced, no, he believed it was something else. It was something like wishing they were looking at him differently because every time they showed that level of emotion to him, he was reminded of how serious the situation was.

He did not want to be reminded of his misfortune.

He cruised into kitchen afterwards to see Sasuke texting on his phone. Naruto did a quick sweep of the area. There was barely anybody in the parlor, so guidelines were usually pretty lax at times like these.

"Sakura doing alright?" Naruto asked as he leaned against the counter next to his friend.

Sasuke did not look up from his phone. "Yeah, she's fine. How'd you know I was texting her?"

Naruto smirked. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

When Sasuke smiled slightly, Naruto could feel his spirits lift a little. He had told him about his mother the day after he had found out. Sasuke had reacted the exact way he thought he would. His best friend had an odd way of handling grim situations. He would give his condolences and immediately express a succinct sliver of understanding and never speak of it again, _ever_. Even when someone discussed the matter with him, he would always nod and listen, but never really comment. Naruto knew how much Sasuke loved his family, but his tight reaction did not offend him because that was just Sasuke's way of coping with grief, he supposed. So, when he saw his friend respond to him in other scenarios, it made it work out, it made him feel cared for.

Sasuke looked up from his phone and closed it. "It appears the girls want us to go on a double date tonight."

Naruto slouched. "Well, it'll have to be after dinner because Guy's letting me bring a pizza home to my parents."

"Really? Load that thing with toppings then."

"Already planning on it," Naruto added with a large grin. "Where do the girls want to go?"

"Sakura suggested star gazing at the beach. We could make a whole night of it, if you want. Get the tents out and a fire going. Sound good to you?"

Naruto shrugged and rubbed his wrist. "Yeah, I don't mind that. Should we be worried that the girls are scheming behind us?"

Sasuke smirked. "They do it all the time. We're lucky that they haven't turned against us."

The blond chuckled and shook his head, entertaining the idea of the girls using their powers for evil. "You can say that again. Girls can be pretty scary when they want to be." Somehow, that thought made Naruto think of his mother, and his head lowered along with his face.

Sasuke picked up on this and sighed. "Put your pizza in, Naruto. We'll be off soon."

"Yeah…" His voice was edging away, and Sasuke frowned at hearing it. Despite his worries, he said nothing else.

Naruto and Sasuke left their shifts at the same time a while later. They split apart in the parking lot after promising to meet up at the university later that evening.

After departing from his friend for the time being, Naruto placed his large pizza in the passenger seat of his Pinto and headed towards his family's house.

The short drive to his house felt long and empty, like traveling through a subdued mountain tunnel. It pained him to feel a sense of regret at going home; to see his parents would be a sweet form of agony. As his house came into view, Naruto could not figure out what felt greater: his guilt at feeling regret or the sensation of fear in his heart.

Naruto pulled into the driveway and parked the Pinto. When he entered the house with pizza in hand, his negative emotions melted away. A cheery call welcomed him, and he was quickly enveloped in a warm hug from his mother. "Hello, Naruto!" Kushina greeted merrily. "Oh, I'm so glad you're home and on a Friday night, no less. What a thoughtful son, sacrificing his time for his parents! Oh, what a treat! Is that pizza? Honey, Naruto brought us pizza!"

Minato appeared behind his wife from the other room with an amused smile. "Well, now, that's wonderful, Kushina." He placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It's good to see you, son. Welcome home."

Seeing his parents look so happy and proud to see him, made the blond almost weep right on the spot. He had been wrong. He felt no agony with them. The only tangible thing that really kept him together in the moment was his mother's bright grin. It was still healthy, untouched by any illness. Naruto knew it would not be that way for much longer, so he would need to cherish it while he still could. And he prayed, to whatever deity or lack thereof that existed, that he would see that carefree, lively smile from his mother once again after this was all over.

The entire time he spent eating pizza with his family was time well spent. He made sure to lock it away in his memories as a treasured experience. He would not waste what time he still had because he could feel it, drifting through his soul to some unforeseeable and abstruse place. He could only hope for it to be merciful, as if he really knew where he would end up.

* * *

"You couldn't have brought the Escalade?" Ino asked with her arms filled with camping supplies.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Come on, Ino. My baby's just fine."

Sasuke chuckled as he put his cooler in the trunk. "He's had this piece of shit since he got his license, Ino. It's too sentimental for him at this point." The four of them were waiting in the university's parking lot.

"It's a damn Pinto, Sasuke!" Ino declared. "This thing's like forty years old and it could break down at any point."

Naruto grinned. "Would you like to drive your car then, dear?"

Ino crossed her arms and smirked. "You'd like that, huh?" She pecked his lips. "You're lucky you're adorable. Seriously, though, why a Pinto?" She looked at it disdainfully. "And why does it have to be the color of a rotten orange?"

"I don't know," Naruto confessed. "Maybe it's just because nobody else really likes it. It's like the underdog of cars. Plus, the color's great and I don't care if you disagree."

Ino shook her head and smiled. She didn't really mind the car. Truth be told, there was probably nothing her boyfriend could do that would make her upset right now. The last thing he needed was an unbearable girlfriend. "Fine." She turned to Sasuke. "Where's Sakura with the lawn chairs?"

Sasuke shrugged. "She's your roommate. Why don't you go help her?"

Ino blinked and brought her hand up in a flabbergasted gesture. "No, no. The boyfriend's duty always trumps the roommate. By all means, it is your honor, my good sir."

Before Sasuke could continue the banter, an excited voice trilled behind them. "No need, guys!" The three friends looked up the sidewalk to see Sakura approaching them, heaving four lawn chairs on her shoulders.

Sasuke whistled at the sight. "I thought for sure she was gonna call for help."

Naruto was closest to her, so he briskly trotted over to her. "You're far stronger than you look, young lady. Need some help?"

Sakura glanced at him, amusement twinkling in her eyes. "It's best you remember my strength, you know. Of course, that means if I were to accept your request to help me that means I'm only accepting because I love making you feel important. Definitely not because I need it."

Naruto grinned, picking up on her game. "Of course! I wouldn't think of anything else."

She smirked. "You're far smarter than you look, young man."

Naruto laughed heartily at that. The girl had spunk, he could not deny that. He carried two of the chairs over to his car while Sakura handled the other two.

When they reached their friends, Sasuke leaned close to his girlfriend and kissed her forehead. "Took you long enough, eh?"

Sakura smugly lifted her chin. "I had to make sure I was pretty enough for you tonight. The sea air tends to mess up the illusion, you know."

Ino cheerfully slapped her friend's back. "You got that right! Now, let's hurry up! It's already dark and I want to forget all about responsibilities tonight, if that's alright with you guys."

Naruto playfully wrapped his arm around Ino and brought his lips close to her ear. He made a goofy face and said: "But what about all those papers you have to write over the weekend and all—"

"Shut up!" Ino shouted while she pushed him away from her with a giggle. "You're a terrible boyfriend, you know that?"

Naruto held his ribs from laughing so hard. "No, wasn't aware of that."

Sasuke walked over and tapped his best friend's leg with his foot. "Are you going to drive us to the beach or am I, dumbass?"

Naruto swung his arm around Sasuke's head. "Are you kidding? You'd drive into the damn ocean." He grinned when he saw Sakura giggle behind them. "See, even your cute girlfriend thinks so."

Despite his friend's ridiculous antics, Sasuke still smiled. He always did around Naruto. "Let's just go before we don't have any night left, alright?"

Naruto shrugged and fished his keys out of his pocket. "If you say so, my good man. You packed the tents, right?" Once his friend nodded, Naruto launched his hand in the air. "Awesome! Girls get in the back. I'm gonna make this baby fly tonight!"

Naruto had not been lying when he said that. The minute everyone was situated in his old car, he shoved his foot on the accelerator and the little Pinto practically flew out of the parking lot. As a native of the area, Naruto was aware of the streets that were rarely patrolled by cops, so he was able to speed up the coast without any hindrance.

After about twenty minutes of driving north of the city, Naruto parked the car off the side of the road. The ocean opened up in front of them as they stepped out of their car. Ino stretched her arms out to greet the expansive sea. "Ah! That sea breeze feels great! Man, I'm excited! And look there's no one here!"

Naruto began pulling his stuff out of the trunk. "Of course, there isn't. This beach is too rocky for most people. Everybody's at the south beaches tonight, so we have this one to ourselves."

Sakura's eyes scanned the coast with gentle scrutiny. She noticed a cliff jutting out a mile or so north from their current position. "How can we pitch a tent if it's rocky? I think the beach continues past that cliff over there, yeah?"

Sasuke stood next to her with the cooler placed on his broad shoulder. "Yeah, actually. Naruto and I know that spot pretty well, but it's a bit of a walk."

Sakura smiled slyly. She could work with this. "I don't mind. Walking along the beach sounds nice, right, Ino?"

"Hell yeah!" agreed the blonde. "Let's make sure we get everything now, so we don't have to make a second trip."

Everyone verbally adhered to that rule except Sakura. She left her towel in the backseat and when everybody else was ready, they began their march up the coast. It took them a good fifteen minutes to reach the cliff. The beach skirted around the cliff by just a few meters until the sea intruded over the sand, so they had to travel around it in single file. When they meandered past that, the beach opened up once again. The cliff curved around and made sort of a little cove with the sand for about fifty meters inland until the sheer cliff towered upwards in a direct angle. The sand was far less rocky than the rest of the beach and felt like silk against the toes.

The interesting geography was unique enough to make the girls gaze around it in awe. "Wow," Sakura breathed out.

Naruto nodded cheerfully. "Yeah, it's pretty cool. The highway goes around the cliff for a few miles from here, so no one really knows about this spot. I'm glad we decided on here."

"Yeah, a few times a year this place gets flooded in too," Sasuke added, "so it's a cove and a beach at the same time."

Ino happily ran to the center of the clearing. "This place is so cool! Our own little spot! Let's hurry and set everything up. I wanna go swimming!"

The rest of them all laughed and made their way to where Ino was already finding a spot for her towel. Naruto had to admit, the place looked better than he remembered. The sky was wide and cloudless, and they were far enough out of the city for the stars to really express their brilliance. They reflected off the waves magically while the late winter ocean breeze made the evening cool and comfortable.

As they neared the center, Sakura turned to the boys and feigned a look of shock. "Oh no, I forgot my towel!"

Sasuke gave her one of those humble smiles all boyfriends give when they see their significant other in a helpless scenario. "We can share mine. Not a big deal."

Sakura scoffed playfully. "You think I'm going to share one towel with your body odor? No thanks."

Sasuke smirked. "Alright, fine. Let's go back and get it."

"Just so you can get out of pitching the tent?" Sakura said with an added flair. These were moments she loved being a woman. They were remarkable actors when the situation called for it. "I don't think so. Naruto, can you accompany me, please?"

Sasuke gave his best friend a smile that implied he was inconveniencing him and sighed. "She's impossible sometimes. Do you mind?"

Naruto shook his head. "Not at all." He placed his stuff in the sand and wiped his hands. "Alright, let's go."

Sakura dropped her stuff too and turned to where they had entered. "Perfect. We'll be right back."

Sasuke waved to them as the two of them left the clearing. Naruto and Sakura passed around the cliff and made the lengthy trek back toward the car.

For the first couple minutes, there was an easy silence between the two of them. Naruto felt good for the first time in the last few weeks. He was with his friends and spirits were high. Ino was in his life, and she constantly expressed how much care and love she had for him every single second he was with her. And now he was with Sakura and—

Suddenly, an icy needle seemed to stab through his heart. Damn. He was alone with Sakura and he was _enjoying_ it. Despite everything going on in his life, he could not ignore the feelings he had for her. But he was with Ino now, and he felt like shit for having his heart split. This was how cheaters and liars were born. Because of their foolish indecisiveness. If he could not find a way to settle his feelings and bring fairness back to those he cared for, then he was only going to cause division and strife around him. As strong as his grief currently was, his shame was far more sobering.

Sakura eyed the way Naruto's eyes were downcast as they ambled along the beach. She silently appreciated the sand as it shuffled around her feet. "Ino's pretty great, huh?"

Naruto blinked in surprise at the sudden question, but he nodded solemnly. "Yeah, she is."

She flashed him a bright grin. "Well, I'm happy to say I had a hand in getting you together."

Naruto kept his smile small, but it was not weak. "Thank you, Sakura."

Sakura felt her face heat up at that. She was enjoying the attention from him. That was noteworthy, she supposed, but that did not exactly separate him from Sasuke. In fact, it just solidified her earlier point. Would she always be doomed to never really understand how affection worked? "Are classes going well for you?"

Naruto's head slanted upwards and revealed his thoughtful expression to the night sky. "Yeah, they're fine. I have some papers coming up that are going to be a bitch, but nothing I can't handle, I guess." His eyes and voice softened considerably. "It keeps my mind busy, though."

Sakura maintained a peppy attitude. She was not sure why she felt so compelled to do so. It was almost instinctual when she saw the miserable look he was displaying. "Oh, I see. It's good not to be idle, of course!"

After seeing that sharp grin from her, Naruto could feel his heartbeat hasten. "Definitely," he added. "I don't do well just sitting around. I need to get up and move."

"Oh, is that why you run and exercise all the time?"

"Yeah, that's part of it, I guess."

"There's more to it?" she asked.

Truthfully, he did not know why he was doing it. He just knew there was more to it, as if the sensation of running filled in an empty spot he was not familiar with. "It just feels good to run. I feel better when I do it."

Sakura nodded. "That makes sense. Well, I'm glad you have an outlet like that."

"Outlet?" he asked loosely to the sandy beach. Maybe that _was_ what it was. "Yeah, an outlet. That sounds right." He reflected his gaze onto her. Her behavior was really bouncing off him. She was trying to help him, and it lifted him higher than anything else ever had. "Thanks, Sakura."

"Huh? What'd I do?"

"You're talking to me and I appreciate that. You've done a lot for me, you know."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said as she looked down at the dark sand. "I haven't done anything."

"You've been there which is more than enough."

She drew her eyes to him, attempting to express her hidden intentions as best she could in them. But it was not enough. It never was. "I don't know what you mean."

She appeared almost innocent to him then. Naruto had never beheld such a sight, one so enraptured in purity and understanding to who Sakura was as a person. There was affection, wisdom, and a tenderness he could only conceive of in fantasies in her eyes. So, he gave in. "I care a lot about you, Sakura. You're very important to me."

Was she more important than Ino? No, she could not ask that out loud. It would reveal too much too early. If she wanted this to work, then she had to be careful. But what exactly was her end goal? She was testing him and trying to analyze the situation, but for what? She had not planned anything beyond this. What happened when she realized what this was? She summoned some courage, just enough, and took a deep breath. "You're important to me too. I think I'm just now understanding that."

Naruto furrowed his brow in puzzlement. He stopped walking then and looked at her. She did not meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"

"I mean—" Sakura collected herself and faced forward. "Uh, there's this bond we have and it didn't take long for, er, us to have it." When she realized she was stammering, she bit her lip. "It's really cool, you see. I mean, not a lot of people can have that kind of relationship."

Naruto kept staring at her, further increasing her anxiety. They both started their pace again. "Yeah, we do have that," he announced after thinking about it. "That's pretty cool, huh?"

She looked at him and saw his dazzling smile directed toward her. That smile elevated her, beyond her worries and careless plans. She realized her end goal was ultimately that smile, if nothing else. As long as he had that, then maybe she could move on in the world. Even if she survived with that gross necklace around her neck and Sasuke's hand, she would be just fine knowing that smile was permanent.

Despite this resolve, however, she wanted to be selfish, just a little. She wanted to fall asleep at night also knowing she was responsible for that smile. Does that prove it? She asked herself that question more than once. Does that prove I care for him?

"Yes, it's very cool. We're good friends, Naruto, and I hope nothing ever changes that."

"Of course," he stated. "You have Sasuke and I have Ino. It's a perfect combination of friends."

Such a statement should have been announced happily, but that is not what Sakura heard from the blond. She witnessed pain in the man's eyes and could feel a surge of affection and concern shoot through her veins, tormenting her endlessly. Why does he look so sad when he says that? How could such a great person suffer so much?

She misconstrued his agony for grief and said: "Ino told me about your mother, you know. It must be very hard for you right now."

Naruto sighed softly and watched the waves crash near his feet. "Yes, it's difficult right now. Things are only going to get worse too, I'm afraid." He noticed the uneasiness in her face when he said that. "Sorry, I don't mean to be a downer."

"No. Please, it's fine. I appreciate your honesty. Most people just like to cover up their grief because they think it bothers people."

"It does bother people, though. Most people can't handle true grief, especially when it's someone else experiencing it."

Sakura nodded. "That's a good point. I never really thought about it like that. Well, I'm sure you talk about it all the time with Ino, so it must come natural to you."

Naruto's jaw stiffened. "Actually, we barely talk about it."

"Really? Why? Is it hard for her?"

"No, I just don't feel—well, comfortable enough with her. I mean, shit, that sounds bad, doesn't it?"

He expected her to giggle then or show some form of amusement, but she only stared at him seriously. Her gaze was strong as it seemed to enfold completely around him, through him. "No, that's OK, Naruto. You can always talk to me, you know."

Naruto matched her gaze, tried to, at least. "Yeah, I know."

"Why do you find it hard to talk to her?"

"I'm not sure. It just never feels organic, like it's always a bad time to bring it up."

Sakura's eyelids lowered. "I don't think something like that will ever change then. Not unless your feelings are in the right place."

"What do you mean by that?"

Sakura took a deep breath. "Do you love her?"

The question felt so out of the blue, Naruto stopped again. He could feel sweat form around his brow, and he fixed all of his attention on Sakura. For one careless moment, he allowed her to see his desperation. His guilt was too strong and it had to break free, to express itself openly to someone, anyone who would listen. "I—I don't know."

Sakura kept her gaze locked on him, not allowing him to escape. "That's OK too. You don't need to know now. There's a lot of things to learn in this world. A lot of wonderful things to figure out and they only get better when you get to learn about them with others. Maybe we can learn about these kinds of things together, if you'd like?"

Naruto had never seen Sakura like this. She was so transparent all of a sudden, so wise and real. He was enchanted by it, enchanted by _her_. "What things? Like love?"

"That's one of them, yes, I suppose."

"Shouldn't you save that for Sasuke?" he asked.

She suddenly gasped and brought her hands to her mouth. She could feel her eyes water, and she turned away from him. She had said too much. She had to slow down.

Naruto moved his hands frantically to her shoulders to comfort her. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to make you upset."

She wiped her eyes and choked through the heaviness in her throat. "No, it's fine. I'm OK. We're almost there. Let's go." Naruto watched her advance forward before he started moving again. Her slender legs must have been strong, he thought, they had to be to carry such a weight.

They got to the Pinto shortly after that, and Sakura picked up the towel she had purposefully discarded earlier. The walk back to the clearing was much more lighthearted; Sakura made sure of that. They talked about interests and how nice the beach was, they quickly forgot about their more serious issues and allowed themselves to be swept away by each other's charisma. They both found out they were similar and different in many ways and they were enamored by that, although they failed to mention that out loud. They could not afford too much transparency, not when they realized they were terrible people who could not make up their minds.

When they returned to the clearing, they saw that a fire had already been lit and two tents were neatly constructed between the fire pit. Right before they were a few meters from their little campsite, a bob of blonde hair approached them.

"Welp, is' about time!" Ino slurred. A bottle of Pacifico was in her hand and when Naruto saw that, he turned to his best friend who was idly sitting in a lawn chair by the fire.

"You packed beer?" Naruto asked.

"Damn, right," answered Sasuke. He displayed his own bottle. "There's plenty in the cooler, even though your girl already drank down one of the six-packs."

Ino brought her hand up defiantly. "Now, holds on! Thisk is my sisth!" She chugged the last of the alcohol from her bottle. "Theres! Now, I'm alllllll good!"

Sakura pointed to Ino and smiled. "I'd like to be in that state, please. Care to join me, Naruto?"

The blond was already opening the cooler. "Only if you think you can keep up."

* * *

After the fire was long extinguished and the moon was already close to saying good-bye to the night, the waves were merrily dancing upon the sand for as long as time would allow them to do so. They carried on in their ways, blissfully unaware of the pain in the world, most notably the kind of suffering found in the two tents and their inhabitants' lives. But there was a different type of pain being experienced tonight in these two tents, at the same time, no less.

In one of them, there were two blonde lovers. One of which was lovingly above the other, staring at her man beneath her. "Are you ready?" she asked innocently.

"Are you sure?" Naruto replied, feeling reluctant. "You're drunk."

"I'm pretty sober now. Plus, it's a little too late for regrets now, don't you think? Our clothes disappeared. We've waited long enough, right?"

"Yeah. Right." She kissed him passionately, and he surrendered to her charm. He knew he had to. He was not brave enough to tell her the truth. The fact that she was gorgeous and suddenly very adventurous made him find release because he knew Sakura was doing the same thing only a few feet away. That made him want to ravage Ino, to make her all his. Because he could. Because he could actually have something sweet for once, something that could bring a sense of joy and pleasure to him.

In the other tent, Sakura was also thinking of someone else as her boyfriend entered her. They were different from their two friends. This was not their first time. Sakura had guzzled down more beers than Ino, but she was still cognizant enough to realize the conversation between her and Naruto had been deeper than any she had discussed with Sasuke. Her test had proven that much to her. She felt the most like herself with the blond man and that fact possessed some rather mysterious potential. She wasn't sure if that meant there was anything like love between them, but that meant something. It meant what she had for Sasuke was surely not on par with it.

What would she do about that?

She heard Ino moan a few meters away. Good for them, she thought. They deserved some happiness. But so did she, right? If only she could figure her thoughts out. She felt incredibly immature, like a little girl that could not decide on what candy bar she wanted. But they were not candy bars, they were humans. It would be best if she remembered that. She pondered more about love and her feelings as her boyfriend took her away to somewhere blissful, somewhere without so many questions. Of course, there were not many answers there either.

There were never any answers.

* * *

 **Well, that's probably as steamy as it's going to get in this story, just to let you all know. Sorry for the hiatus there. I did not plan on that, but I got struck with an idea that I just had to focus on. I'll try not to take so long to update again. I've mapped out how I want this story to go, so I'm feeling pretty confident about its development. I'd love to hear all of your thoughts and concerns. So, please leave a review!**

 **-CM**


	10. View from the Ground

Chapter 10: View from the Ground

" _Don't turn around.  
You got to stare it down.  
You got it in you._

 _Don't hold your heart inside._  
 _You got to pour it out._  
 _Just let it move you."_

 _-Myzica_

* * *

April was Ino's favorite month. Not because of the merry spring showers or the smell of fresh flowers in the sun, no, she loved it because of the mood. April always seemed to brighten the atmosphere and the faces of the people all around her. Whenever the sunny disposition broke through the patchy clouds in the sky, Ino could feel her heart lift in her chest to carry her elation brightly across the universe. The sensation was so breathtaking, and Ino could never get enough of it.

Of course, her cute boyfriend's company made it even better.

For the past few months, her world had consisted of beauty, classes, isolated musings, and a charming blond boy. There was a gentle stability in his face and voice that invigorated her soul. Whenever he smiled at her or gave her some sincere attention, she could feel her feet lighten, and they would bounce with feathery glee.

She was so happy with him.

But there was a nervous layer hidden underneath their smooth interactions. It was not one completely unknown to Ino, rather it was concealed on purpose, so she wouldn't stress about it. Yes, it was similar to pushing dirt under the rug, but it was more like she painted over the dirt as well, to pretend it didn't even exist, as if glossing it over erased it from reality.

The hidden layer was whenever she noticed the anxious scrunch in her boyfriend's brow or when his eyes would flicker away to stare off thoughtfully. During those instances, Ino would note the way he appeared so forlorn, hollow. He was handling a baggage that was a size she couldn't comprehend. That was what really bothered her; she could only view so much of him. She yearned to see as much of him as possible. She knew his depth was only as deep as his conscious mind had excavated already, but she had barely scratched the surface of that. If only she could tunnel into his reaches and pull out his desires and fears, maybe she could help.

At the very least, she would find some satisfaction in knowing.

Although, whether he knew it or not, Naruto was adept at keeping some thoughts to himself. He could be awfully quiet at times and then talkative enough for you to forget it at others. It was honestly disconcerting, and Ino didn't like it. She could tell when he was purposefully trying to distract her from his more somber moods by feigning joy, and that was when she would push. Ino would never push too hard, just enough to read his chalked lines.

If she was honest with herself, it hurt her.

It really hurt when he wouldn't talk about his pain or whatever was troubling his mind. She knew it wasn't only his mother. It was something else, something far narrower than that. It was as if he was staring at a murky, broad pool with no known bottom, and he was questioning if he should jump into it. But if he did dive into it, then he would be further from her. So, she wanted to follow him. He was not aware of his own destination, but she needed to be there with him for the journey.

He was searching for something, and it wasn't her.

She was on the far shoreline, calling out to him to notice her presence fully. He took note of her enough to please most women, she was sure, but she required all of him. Maybe that was selfish or even impossible to ask of an individual, but that's what her heart wanted.

It was these thoughts that made April a little bleaker in Ino's eyes. If it wasn't for the spring's cool charm and delicate vibes matching with sweet nectar-scented winds, then she would have stumbled already.

But Ino still sought some answers of her own, so she began to explore.

As she was probing the world, she observed the people around her doing the same. Lately, Sakura was reading a lot of romance stories, not the cheesy tales that cost a quarter off the used bookshelf, but the classics. It was common for the girl to be reading, anyone who knew her knew she was addicted to the written word, but it was odd of her to be stuck on a specific subject for so long. Ino asked her once, as Sakura was reading a Brontë novel, why she was suddenly so interested in the genre.

Her roommate had simply said: "I'm trying to figure out what love is."

Ino hadn't been expecting such an answer that sounded so innocent. Also, how many people actually searched for those answers? It was one thing to ask the question, then maybe think about it for a little while or maybe even ask some others about their thoughts, but it was another to actively pursue it. Sakura seemed as if she wouldn't be satisfied by any one-line clichés or conclusions based off a night of random kisses and handsome strangers. No, she wanted the truth.

And so did Ino.

Conversely, the blonde looked for her answers in different areas than her roommate. It wasn't wrong to go to the great writers of the past. She adored Fitzgerald's views on love and affection, but those were already founded into her philosophy. She needed to go to a new place, one where fresh ideas could embrace her and expunge her old ideology.

It didn't take Ino long to find such a place.

One afternoon, after one of Dr. Nara's lectures, she waited until everyone left the classroom. Naruto had told her he would wait up for her, but she convinced him to not bother. He agreed without much persuasion.

Dr. Nara was shuffling some papers and organizing his notes when she approached his desk. The professor scanned her over his iron-rimmed glasses when she stood before him, his acute eyes analyzing her complex expression.

He sighed before she could say anything. "Now that's a face I know all too well."

Ino didn't care to mask her confusion. "Hmm?"

"You're conflicted, my dear. It's a philosopher's greatest obstacle. The mind cannot accept too much too quickly, I'm afraid. Obviously, there's different limits for different minds, but it seems you've found yours."

He smiled meekly at her, and she found such a look to be relieving, humbling. Ino glanced at the clock on the wall above them. "I have, Dr. I'm not keeping you, am I? I don't want to trouble you."

Dr. Nara shook his head and motioned to one of the seats on the first level behind them. "Not at all, Ino. I'm actually free for the rest of the day. An uncommon occurrence, but a welcome one. Come, let's speak over there."

They sat down at two desks across from each other, and Ino couldn't meet the man's dark, piercing eyes when they were directly in front of her. Dr. Nara didn't seem aggravated by this. "Was it my lecture, Ino? Did it ask too many questions of you?"

Ino flushed and waved her hands nervously. "No, not at all, Dr. Your lecture was very clear, and I took good notes, so it's not that."

Hearing there was no need for self-evaluation at the moment, the professor reclined into his chair and gazed at his student. "Well then, how can I help?"

Ino took a deep breath and summoned her courage. Her timid behavior was derived more from respect and for the sake of being polite than from actual fear. The man was one of the wisest she had ever known, and she didn't want to take his advice for granted. Whatever he was going to tell her then was going to permanently affect her entire way of thinking, so she had to be serious about this.

She needed this.

"Can you tell me about love, Dr.?" Ino asked.

Dr. Nara blinked. It wasn't the first time a college student had come to him with such a question. But it was the first time one had asked it with such determination in their eyes. Every other time, his students would ask it as a need for a quick answer to a quick problem, but this was different. The blonde sitting in front of him was conflicted with one of the greatest philosophical questions in all of human history. So many writers and philosophers had sought for answers around the concept that surpassed mere emotion or attitude. The grand power was so multi-faceted that numerous scholars had spent their entire lives in study over it, and very few of them ever got any definitive results.

There was a fire in her, and he had to be compassionate about her feelings.

Dr. Nara cleared his throat and leaned forward. "From a philosophical perspective, I presume?"

Ino didn't flinch. "Is there any other perspective, Dr. Nara?"

He laughed then. It was mingled with as much surprise as there was admiration for the blonde. "I'm glad to see you've been listening, my dear. You do understand that such a question has many answers, right?"

"I know," she stated. "We could be here all day and barely get to any of them. That's why I'll make this specific, Dr. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. The people around me have also been thinking about it quite seriously. If I'm going to catch up with them, then I need to start figuring out what I'm looking for. I want to know if I love a man and if he loves me as well. In order to do that, I need to know what love is."

Dr. Nara's eyes twinkled with amusement. "And you'd rather ask a philosopher than a musician or maybe even a poet?"

"To be honest, sir, I'd think they'd give me some correct answers, but you'd give me all of them. At least, enough for me to have a solid foundation to work with."

"That's good," the professor announced. "That's very good. If you're not getting an A in my class yet, then I'm doing something wrong."

Ino smiled thinly and stroked a length of her hair. "Thank you, Dr. I'm doing well in your class. If I'm honest, I always listen to your lectures with excitement."

"A hunger?" he asked.

Ino blinked and creased her brow in thought. "Yes, that's right. But don't you think that's a question the poet would ask?"

Dr. Nara folded his arms behind his head. "You read Boethius then? Good, it's nice to know my students are actually reading what I assign. Sometimes, it's hard to tell. Yes, I suppose the poet would ask that. You have a hunger and philosophy is filling your stomach. It's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is, Dr. Now then, about love?"

The professor brought his hands out in front of his chest, as if he was pleading with her. "Well, you've listened to my lectures and you read Boethius, so you must have the basis down already, yes?"

"To love something means to want what is best for something?"

"Correct," Dr. Nara said as he pointed his finger at her. "That's where we can start. There are many forms of love, Ino. The bonds we have with our families, those we cherish romantically, and those simple friends we enjoy spending time with are all centered around that basis. It's not love if we don't have that desire to give them the very best."

"What is best for them, Dr.? I don't remember you ever getting into that."

"Ah, but I have, Ino. My entire class is about what is best for all of us. The entire world is filled with the greatest things imaginable. All of truth and understanding is part of what we must know, and that's what we can give to others."

Ino frowned and appeared to be disappointed. "That's far too broad, though, Dr. I need something more specific than that. I get that living is good for us, that knowledge and experiences are good for us, but there's got to be more than that too."

The professor scratched his goatee and surveyed the young woman's features. It had been a while since he had been so intrigued with a person. This girl was looking for the answers he had been unable to conclude for himself. He still had plenty of researching and self-reflection to endure before he could even properly discuss any of the finer points of the concept with confidence.

But, perhaps, he was being too reserved with his student. Most teachers didn't like to talk about what they didn't know, especially with their students. It bruised their pride and allowed their students to begin to doubt them. It was too easy to earn disrespect.

Although, this girl deserved a little vulnerability.

Dr. Nara grinned and felt his spine loosen, as if he was finally able to not be stiff. "There is, Ino. There are many things we all need, and there are some we can only get from others."

"How much of that is objective?"

"I'd say all of it."

Ino shook her head. "Surely, there must be some things that only certain people need. For an example, not everybody requires the same amount of affection."

"True, but you're looking at it wrong." Dr. Nara kept his tone smooth and professional. There was also just a hint of intimacy there too, like he was opening himself up to her and only her. "We all still need affection. A sick person needs medicine to be healthy. But a healthy person doesn't need medicine."

"So, they need different things? Isn't that my point?"

"No, they both need _health_. The medicine is merely a way to bring equality back to the ones who lost it. Remember, we must stick to the most basic things. Just like certain governments need certain laws for specific cultures, we all still need order. We can't seek what is best for us if we're being shot at on our way home. After the basics, which all people need, have been taken care of, then we can seek what we need to."

"Then whatever comes after the basics is subjective?"

Dr. Nara exhaled and shrugged. "I haven't gotten that far, to be honest. Everything I can think of boils down to the basics so far." His eyes lowered when he saw the dejected constitution she was displaying. "But that doesn't mean there isn't more, you know. We all need love, Ino. We're all just trying to figure out what that is."

Ino's knuckles whitened as she tightened them. This wouldn't do. It still wasn't clear enough; if anything, it only got more obscure. "But what if I can't find it?" She could feel her voice rise in her throat. It sounded shriller the more she spoke. "I need to give the ones I care about what they deserve. He's already so far from me, Dr. I can't be on the edge anymore. I need to try to bring him what he needs. I can't just give him what everybody else needs because he's not them! He's only who he is, and I love him! No one else is him and that means he needs something they don't, right? I love that man and nobody else!"

At some point, Ino must have started crying because her face was wet, and her collar was damp and even drying in some spots. She looked up at her professor who was watching her carefully. There was a long pause between the two of them that was filled with an empty emotion, and no one seemed to ruin the atmosphere in that special time. No one wanted to.

After appreciating the honesty in the young woman, Dr. Nara spoke again. "I think you've found your answer, Ino."

Ino's eyes were wide and bright as she looked down at her hands. Did she find it? Did her little tirade hold the answer she had been looking for? Could it really be that simple? After considering it, she tested her assumption with her professor. "Am I what's best for him?"

Dr. Nara's smile was large and brimming with truth, so much truth. She couldn't see all of it because she was too close. Maybe if she took a few steps back, she could discern its width just a bit more. She supposed that was a good place to start. A comfortable place.

"I can't answer that, Ino," he admitted. "I'm not him, but I don't see why you wouldn't be."

"It's up to him, though. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, I suppose so. But may I ask you a personal question?"

Ino felt a giggle bubble out her throat. He was so earnest with her and that assuaged any lingering stress in her. "Of course, Dr."

"Is he what's best for _you_?"

Ino felt the giggle leave her, and the moisture in her mouth left too. Her chest constricted as she pondered the inquiry. "D-do I have to give you an answer now?"

The professor clicked his tongue and stood up from his chair. "No, my dear. In fact, you don't have to answer it at all. It's just something you should think about yourself. I hope you can find what you're looking for."

"And what if the answer to your question hurts, Dr.? What if it's the one I don't want to hear?"

Ino's philosophy professor had such a sad face then. She never knew he could be so empathetic, as if he knew exactly what she was experiencing. What kind of love had he known in his life? What questions had he answered throughout his time on the earth? Perhaps, it was best she never knew. There were some memories a person had to cherish silently, a few unspoken truths no one else should hear.

"Then I hope you can take the proper actions when that happens," Dr. Nara said. "That's where the trick is, I believe. We all know what is best for us. Our conscious is quite skillful at telling us, you see. We just need to do it. That's where true integrity lies, my dear."

She didn't have to ask anything else, Ino surmised. She could tell simply by the solid tension in his jaw and the gentle adoration stored in his eyes; he knew she possessed that integrity.

* * *

Sakura was cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie, when her boyfriend got the call. Sasuke had been acting distant for most of the day, and it wasn't a surprise to her to see it was because of something completely unrelated to her. He stepped out of her dorm room as his phone started ringing; he didn't even excuse himself.

She didn't want to be irritated by the man, but it was almost instinctual by this point. His little gestures and common frivolities were so dull to her. At least, they were when she thought about them. Most of her thoughts nowadays resided with sun-kissed beaches and ocean-blue eyes.

Sakura paused the movie as she waited for him. When he returned several minutes later, his expression was unclear. "I have some news," he confessed stoically.

Her eyes were locked onto him, but they were somewhere else. "Yes?"

"My father has asked me to intern with him at his agency this summer."

She didn't even pretend to be startled. "Really? In Japan?"

"Yes." Hidden under his face, there was a patient excitement lingering. There was also an inkling of guilt. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. "You'll be going home to be with your family there, right?"

Sakura could feel a smile creeping along her lips. She stamped it out before it could manifest. There was no joy in toying with emotions in her, but she knew when happiness was presenting a gift. "Actually, I'm not, Sasuke. I'm afraid I will be staying here and taking a few summer courses."

Sasuke frowned. "Why are you just now mentioning this?"

Sakura shrugged. "Didn't seem relevant till just now."

She could see the indignation rising in his expression. He was holding himself back, though. Despite her mastery at reading people, she was uncertain of why he would do such a thing then. Was it out of love for her? Was it pride? Or did he just not see a good reason to do so?

In some odd, mangled way, she liked not knowing.

"I see, well, I hope this won't put a damper on our relationship."

Sakura sighed and looked away from him. "I don't see why it would. We're doing fine."

Sasuke said nothing more after that. They continued to watch their movie in silence. As the night continued, and the spring air came tumbling in through a cracked window, Sakura pondered why she felt so happy. She would be free soon, even if for only a little while. Was it wrong to be so elated for something so callous? It was probably not best to bring ethics into the scenario, she concluded. She had thrown out those a long time ago. A scummy, tainted rift spread from in her, and she wallowed in it. There was some hope for her; she was sure of it.

* * *

The night after Ino had her discussion with Dr. Nara, Naruto visited his mother. She had called him with a request to keep her company. Obviously, he wasn't going to deny her. Even if she didn't have her disease, he still would have complied.

When he got there, his mother had an array of desserts presented on the dinner table. Naruto blinked when he saw the impressive and gratuitous arrangement.

"Uh, wow, Mom."

From the kitchen, his mother poked her head out. She still looked healthy and vibrant, as if nothing had ever touched her. He knew that wasn't going to last. He knew it was right around the corner. What he didn't know was that it was going to happen slowly, so slowly that he wouldn't even notice until he thought back on this time when her smile was so clear and vigorous. "Sorry, dear. I was just really restless today."

"How long will Dad be at work again?" Naruto asked as he dropped his bag on the floor and took a seat at the table. He knew why she had been restless.

Her chemotherapy started tomorrow.

Kushina brought out her last plate, piled high with muffins, and placed it on the table. She took off her apron and sat in the chair next to her son. "He won't be back until late, I'm afraid. Thanks for coming, sweetie. I really needed this."

"Sure, Mom. You shouldn't be alone tonight. I asked Ino if she wanted to come too, but she said it would be better if it was just the two of us."

Kushina nodded and beamed. "What a smart girl she is! I must say you picked a real doll, Naruto."

Naruto's own smile was thin. "Thanks. She's pretty great."

His mother's eyes narrowed as she reached for a muffin. "Classes going well?"

"They're fine." He knew he sounded distant, and that's not how he wanted to act with his mother. She was too important to him. He could never hide anything from her because he enjoyed being open with her. She never judged him or assumed the worst in him. She was always patient and sympathetic to his feelings. She would give advice when asked, but she wouldn't bring up anything that would raise a person's defenses. As Naruto continued to live his life, he realized how rare of a quality that was in the world.

Many parents treated their children with worry, concerned about their choices or fearful of the consequences. But Kushina carried something for her son that few parents truly possessed: trust.

Naruto could feel it welling up inside of himself. His mother's fate wasn't certain, and the unknown truth was locked away in a safe of worries and doubt. He had to speak with her. "Hey, Mom…" he started, "…are you going to die?"

Kushina blinked and moved her head close to her son. Her face neared his to the point of being only a few inches from his own. Her eyes were not grim, but they were serious. "No, Naruto. I will not."

Naruto felt his breath hitch. It wasn't often that she revealed such a look. "H-how can you say that so confidently?"

Kushina backed away, and her eyes drifted from him. "Because I can't leave yet, Naruto. There's still so much to do. This chemo's gonna slow me down a bit, but I'll pick back up. My doctors are very hopeful, you know. They say my tumor isn't anything major, and there's such a high success rate for my stage of cancer that I'm not worried at all about dying."

Naruto nodded gently and could feel the skin lift around his teeth. "Good. That's awesome." And just like that, he felt better. His mother's countenance was light-hearted, and that raised some jubilance in him. "I thought so. I was just worried about the constant pain you'll be in."

Kushina's warm eyes filled with concern. "Oh, sweetheart, don't worry about that! The doctors tell me there's barely any pain at all."

Naruto's voice didn't waver. "I wasn't talking about the physical kind."

A long, uncomfortable pause floated around them, and they both settled into their seats. Within that silence, there was a keen layer of understanding. Naruto was aware of his mother's tangibility and hope, but it did not cover her knowledge of reality. He could believe the best out of this gruesome situation.

He could because she was doing it.

"Oh, I see…" she said after the pause had left. "Well, it's going to take its toll on me. That's for sure, honey."

Naruto gritted his teeth. "It sucks. Why does this have to happen now, Mom? Why does it have to happen at all?"

Kushina's smile looked as if it was faltering. "I don't know, sweetheart. I feel like that's the wrong question to be asking, though. You can't do anything with it. All it does is make it hurt more."

Naruto clutched his chest and winced. Could agony really stack up like this? Did the two forms, which were so different and complex, really multiply in size and condition? His heart needed to be heard, and no one was listening to it, not even him. "How could it possibly hurt any more than this, Mom?" he asked thinly.

A gossamer line slid along the rim of Kushina's eyes as they focused on her son. "Naruto…you're not talking about me, are you?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He surmised that maybe one person could, in fact, listen. She always listened before. "It's partly you, Mom. I feel terrible saying this to you, but it's actually more because of something else."

Shockingly, Kushina tilted her head and let out a distorted chuckle. When she saw the surprise on her son's face, the mirth disappeared. "Sorry, sweetie, but I'm really happy to hear you say that. It means I'm not the center of your worries, and that's a little relieving."

When it was said aloud, Naruto really felt like he could believe such a statement. "Yeah?"

"Of course, Naruto." The violet in her eyes was majestic, enrapturing. "What's troubling you so greatly?"

Naruto realized she already knew what was going on. Even before he had mentioned Sakura to his mother when they were eating burgers a lifetime ago, she had always known his heart. "I don't love the woman I'm with now, Mom, because I love someone else…"

Kushina sighed. As he had expected, there was no bewilderment present in her constitution, but there was an impression of apprehension. And within that impression, there was a deep, reserved poignancy.

She could see her son suffering so greatly for his heart's desires. She recalled a time when she had felt the same. It was such a potent feeling, she mused. Her son was so strong. "I'm proud of you, Naruto."

Out of all the comments he had thought she would say, _that_ was at the bottom of his list. He had been expecting advice and heaps of it. He was expecting some kind of cosmic justice that all mothers were dependent and powerful in utilizing, but, no, he had pegged his mother wrong this time around. She knew exactly what he needed then. So, after perceiving this, all Naruto could say was: "Huh?"

Kushina stroked the side of his cheek lovingly. He looked so much like his father, and he was just as kind. "I'm so happy you've found love in this world, honey. And I know you don't want to hurt other hearts because of it."

Naruto felt his blood tighten and then rush through his veins in an irregular manner. "I really don't, Mom. Ino's been so good to me."

"Of course, she has, sweetie. She's still important to you, you know." Kushina brought her hands up and cupped Naruto's face. She gazed into her son's scattered, restive eyes and saw a tender need to do everything he could for those he cared about, but his own desires conflicted with theirs. That revelation was eating him up. Kushina saw herself a bit in that regard. "Naruto, you're going to always hurt the people you love. That's just how the world is."

Naruto didn't cry, but he wanted to. His feelings just wouldn't allow it. "I need her, Mom. I'm sorry I'm being so selfish, but I really do."

Kushina flashed him a grin that dazzled radiantly. "Believe me; I'd much rather be talking about you."

Naruto screened his free hand against his mother's crimson locks. How long would it take for the chemo to remove it? He was going to have to see her constantly poisoned for a prolonged period of time, and he wasn't sure if he could handle it. But he would have to, he decided. He would endure it for her sake. "Thank you, Mom. I just hope I can do the right thing in all of this."

Kushina ran her own hand through her son's hair. "I know, honey. I love the man you've become, you know, so kind and understanding." Her voice dropped low and skirted along the edges of a gentle stream of consciousness. Years later, he still remembered the way her tone spoke to his spirit in that tender moment. "No matter what happens or who get hurts, I'll always be proud of you, Naruto."

Naruto drooped his head into her shoulder and shuddered. Even then, no tears came. "I love you, Mom. I love you so much."

Kushina held her son tightly that evening. She didn't release him for a long time because she didn't want to forget the warm sensation. She granted her mind to sail beyond any unknown currents of woe or agitation. She couldn't sink now. She had to be a mother for him, and she enjoyed it more than anything else in the world.

In her own way, Kushina never let go.

* * *

 **I think I've finally found a nice groove in between this story and my other fic. I'm now working in the real adult world, so my time is limited, but I still am constantly drawn to write. This particular story is truly reflecting my deepest feelings and thoughts I've experienced throughout my life, and that's one reason why it's so important to me. I feel like I'm really pouring so much of myself into it.**

 **I hope you all like it! Send me a review or PM, please!**

 **-CM**


	11. Quell Your Imperfections

Chapter 11: Quell Your Imperfections

" _If I said I knew what was better  
You would start a fire  
Just to say you did._

Your body language is so clever.  
Call it whatever you like  
I call it what it is."

 _-The Heirs_

* * *

Naruto was stirred from his sleep that morning by the sounds of rustling books and huffed breathing. He looked over at the source of the commotion with bleary, weakened eyes.

His roommate was piling textbooks into his backpack. "Sorry to wake you," Sasuke said when he saw Naruto staring at him.

"It's fine," Naruto stated gruffly as he rubbed his eyes. "What are you doing, though? I thought you don't start classes until later?"

Sasuke didn't meet his gaze. "I'm going to go study with Sakura. Finals are just around the corner, after all."

Naruto felt his stomach drop at hearing Sakura's name. It was like he was going behind his friend's back whenever the girl was brought up in conversation. She was always present in the blond's thoughts too, and that pushed the shame deeper into his heart. He was the only one doing anything wrong, and that fact still didn't stop him from relishing his immoral fantasies.

Sasuke put on his backpack, and Naruto called out to him. "How are you two doing, anyways?"

"Fine, I guess." There was a line of hesitation in his voice as he said that.

Naruto picked up on his friend's pause. "You sure?"

"It's just—" The man wasn't good at expressing his thoughts, even to Naruto, so the inner battle in his jet-black eyes always seemed to wage on. "I think my leave to Japan will affect us."

And just like that, Naruto felt something he immediately regretted – hope. Perfidious ideas invaded his mind at blurring speeds. His roommate had mentioned a few days earlier during his announcement of departure to the blond that Sakura would remain here on campus during the summer. Naruto didn't realize all the opportunities that could be presented to him with Sasuke's absence until just now. But then he really would be scum if he took advantage of that. He would be a traitor, and to more than one person too.

Despite his insidious revelation, Naruto simply said: "Yeah."

"She's really great, Naruto. I think she's too good for me." Sasuke wasn't looking at him. He was gazing off at nowhere, to where she was.

She was too good for all of them, Naruto thought. They didn't deserve her. "She is pretty great. Well, have fun studying."

"Thanks. We're going to keep studying after classes too, so I probably won't be back until later tonight."

"OK," Naruto replied as he watched Sasuke reach for the door.

Before Sasuke opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, he looked at his roommate. The look he gave him was complex. It appeared to be flat, but it was actually layered. And at the very bottom of all those layers, Naruto sensed his friend's fears and knowledge.

And then he left.

Naruto got out of bed and took a shower shortly after his friend was gone. As he got ready for the day, Naruto felt like Sasuke knew more than he gave him credit for.

* * *

The earthy, herbal scent of coffee drifted around the quaint café. Ino had become accustomed to the smell long ago. She didn't even notice it anymore. Despite her familiarity, she could still be caught staring at the lobby with glimmering eyes whenever the circumstances were just right.

On a quiet night before the doors were closed and the employees went home, the shop would occasionally yield the best side of itself. There were only a few customers that ever came in during these hours, so the ambience was usually kept still and dimly lit. If she wasn't running around the store to get her tasks done, then Ino would sometimes be able to stop by the main counter and appreciate the little lobby. These were her favorite times.

That night, the black world bounced out from the large windows and welcomed Ino's imagination to a sense of comfort and appeal. The light pollution of the city didn't reveal any stars, but because of the serene textures of the night, it was easy for Ino to imagine them. She could practically feel their burning heat pop out from the velvet sky and welcome her musings.

Even her misgivings on her relationship with Naruto couldn't sully her mood now. She loved that man, but the distance between them was increasing every day, little by little. After her talk with Dr. Nara, Ino knew she had to make things right with her boyfriend, but the conversation wasn't as easy to start as it seemed then. Every time she tried to confront the blond, the mood just didn't seem right. His demeanor had been lackluster as of late. She figured it had to do mostly with his mother's health, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else going on, something hidden away from curious eyes. She didn't expect Naruto of being disloyal or anything, but something along those lines didn't seem too far-fetched to her – not with the current lull between them.

But Ino didn't want her mind to dig too deeply into those details, so she distracted herself with the peaceful, homey call of the night. Through the front windows of the shop, the hushed street lined parallel to the parking lot next to it. The black top faded into the dark, but even that seemed beautiful to her tranquil senses. Ino almost allowed herself to slip into a gray sleep, pulled by the dreamy allures of the evening.

But like every dream, there was a nightmare lurking behind it.

Ino barely noticed the old Ford Bronco enter the parking lot. It wasn't really until she heard the truck's door slam that she was jostled from her somewhat-comatose state.

Tenten walked into the front from the backroom then. Ino had gotten her the job there at the shop about a month ago. She had come into the blonde's room one morning with desperation dripping from her face, pleading about needing a job because her family had cut off her funding. Ino was in rather good standing with her manager, so getting her friend the position had been painless. Tenten was a hard worker to boot and made Ino's part in the scenario that much easier.

After the incident that occurred that very night; however, Ino regretted ever getting Tenten the job.

Tenten noticed the Bronco in the lot with a bored expression. "Maybe they'll go to the sub shop?" she asked with no semblance of hope.

Ino didn't feel the usual pull of apathy at that moment. Because when a lone man exited the truck and stood in the empty lot, she could sense the dread. It didn't creep up like a shadow like it usually did for the commoners who anticipated the future – the ones who driveled on about their dramatic lives in grimy dive bars. No. Ino felt this malevolent intent immediately, like a cold dark slap to the face. Maybe it was the eerie yellow glow of the streetlights. Or maybe it was the black hoodie the man was wearing that elicited the stereotypical fear of what was normally considered perverse. Maybe she just didn't like the guy's face. Whatever it was, Ino didn't trust it.

The man crossed to the front door of the shop with a slow, almost careless gait. It took Ino multiple seconds of frozen observation to notice he was wearing black combat boots. Suddenly, she wished she had never watched a second of TV news, that she had never sacrificed her precious time for the exaggerated reports of mutilated victims and lost children, because every ounce of fear-mongering babble newscasters were known for coated her nerves then and made her shiver in icy terror.

Despite the temptation to remain rooted to her spot like a petrified mammal, Ino's feet dragged her to the far end of the counter. At this side of the store, there was a small alcove used for storing coffee beans. If a person pressed themselves into the little far corner of this opening, they would be hidden from the greater view of the lobby. Tenten didn't even notice as Ino sank into this hiding place. Later, after the whole ordeal blew past in a heated haze, Ino would wish she had warned Tenten or said _something_ to put the girl on edge. But after thinking about it for many months afterward, she realized that her friend probably wouldn't have listened to her anyway. It was a little too eccentric of a notion in the smaller cities that were drunk with complacency. Who would go looking for trouble in places like this? Surely, people were smarter than that. No one expected such scary events to happen in _their_ home. That was always the neighbor's grief and never their own. But Ino knew. She knew because her emotions were too high and aware lately. She knew trouble when it came because she was always in trouble. Her whole life was trouble, and so was this man.

Tenten yawned and moved over to the cash register, unaware of her friend cowering in the corner. She summoned a small polite smile when the man stepped into the lobby.

The man's face was bare – no sunglasses on his face and Ino was thankful for the relief of that cliché – to reveal his square jaw and brown eyes. In better lighting, with the right touch of clothing and mood, he might have been considered handsome. But to Ino, shaking and glued to her little hole in the wall, he could have been the devil himself.

The hooded man said nothing as he approached the counter. Tenten kept that smile plastered on her mug. In that hideous moment of horror, Ino hated that smile. She could make it out clearly that night, and she never forgot it. Whenever she remembered the incidents of that night, she remembered that stupid smile. It was as fake as the look Naruto gave her when he said he cared for her. No one cared for her. To care meant that you would give your all for something, but Naruto would only give his time to her. He would dream of giving away his thoughts to someone else. Yes, she was sure of it in that perfect moment of dismay. Did anyone ever think of her? Could anyone spare her an authentic second glance? No, everything was as plastic and useless as that _fucking_ smile.

"Hi," Tenten said cheerfully to the man, "what can I get started for you?"

There was fear in the man's eyes when he raised the pistol from his coat pocket. Ino wasn't even that surprised to see it. But Tenten was. The poor girl looked like some kind of bug with her eyes wide and shiny like dinner plates. Shit, girl, Ino thought, at least have some dignity. She almost laughed out loud at the irony laced within that thought. She was the one acting like a bug, trembling in the corner as if she were a worm.

There was a looseness in the hooded man's voice as he said: "You scream and I pull the trigger. Open the register."

Tenten nodded fervently. Her head might have fallen off if she kept nodding, but she obeyed before that happened and opened the register.

Ino watched on with a fixed fascination. Her eyes were especially locked onto the gun, its sleek black metal barrel pointing at her friend's head. In one second, that weapon could end a life. It could take away an existence in a fiery bang, and there would be nothing but memories left. The man had that kind of power in that moment. And she was drawn to that power, unable to fully release her attention from it. But Ino had some control left too. Her hands were not mesmerized by the pistol; they were moving into her pocket and pulling out her cell.

Ino should have simply pressed the three numbers that would bring forces with even more power to subjugate the evil in the coffee shop. But there was still a feeling of yearning in her. There was still a scared little girl that couldn't cope with the fact that she wasn't loved. Her thoughts were too fixated on him. She couldn't help it. She pressed the speed dial button, and the contact name flashed on her phone screen.

She was calling Naruto, and she couldn't explain why.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the college campus, Naruto was walking to his car. He had just finished his night class, but his mind was not centered on the material he had learned that night. He was in that muddled state of mind that few men could really describe but most were well-acquainted with. He couldn't really determine what this drifting feeling was about, and that specific fleeting conception was just close enough to pinpoint the mood, so very close. And when the moonlit grass field between him and the parking lot opened to him, he could really only know the hollowness in his heart.

In that field, there was release. It wasn't clear or concise. It was long and addled with intricacies he didn't care to analyze. He just wanted to rest, to really let his mind take a breather for once. He was tired of thinking about her and what she was doing to his poor head. Because not knowing what to feel was a terrible thing. It was like asking a man to perform a task he knew he couldn't do, but he wasn't able to refuse. It was sadistic, and it was one of the truths he was certain of.

Truth was a hard reality to come by anymore. Dr. Nara talked about it a lot in his classes, but it felt so far away from Naruto that it might as well have been on the moon. He didn't know why he couldn't forget Sakura. He didn't know why traces of pink hairs kept flickering across his vision. He didn't know why there was a sweet, harrowing tug in his chest whenever he saw her. The uncertainty was the hardest part. It was just too cruel because it never satisfied anything. It could only remind the heart that it was unruly and corrupted with indecisiveness. That constant reminder was merciless; as if he was an exhausted prisoner being awakened as soon as he was about to dream, and Sakura was always the one waking him with her fresh minty eyes twinkling before him. She wouldn't let him sleep. He couldn't reach any conclusions with her tormenting his thoughts. Damn it, there was only one true thing he knew about her, one bright verifiable truth he couldn't deny – he wanted to be with her.

That realization heartened him a little, as if he could feel his steps float a little more as they traversed through the field. He liked being around her. Yes, that was a truth he could really work with. It was just malleable enough for him to dream about. Her presence was a soothing balm to his inner burns. He knew he could sleep with that nice notion, just trimming around him like a warm blanket. If he could just enjoy that, then maybe he could handle the painful parts. Maybe unrequited love wasn't so bad. Sure, it made him sweat sometimes, and there were moments of cold recollection where he felt like he was being swallowed whole by his emotions, but there were worse things. His mother had cancer, and that was by far the more problematic issue in his life. Years from now, he would probably wish he had focused more on his mom's health than his complicated relationship with Sakura.

But that didn't make it easier, did it?

No.

It still hurt because that was how feelings worked. They didn't care what the soul went through in the past. They just reminded a person where their presence was, and that made them helpful. Well, maybe they were trying to be helpful, but Naruto sure didn't get that vibe lately. He just needed some clarification. The night on the beach with Sakura had gotten his heart to flare up. Ino had tried so hard to calm him down too. She kept pulling him back to the ground where things were stable. But the allurement of the clouds and that airy smile – the same one where he could soar above all the worries and ordeals – were just too strong. He had to join them.

He had to escape.

And when the Corolla came rolling by the curb in front of him, Naruto could see the clouds break away, and he was ready to fly between them.

Sakura rolled down the car window and popped her head out, smiling like she had just caught him thinking about her. "Don't I know you?" she asked as her smile expanded.

Naruto managed to fight against his surprise at seeing her so suddenly. He was somehow able to easily slide his next words out, his own grin matching hers. "Maybe. You're that girl who keeps asking everyone for money, right?"

Sakura giggled at that, and he couldn't perceive of a better sound; it made him feel like he could do it. He could do it. He could really handle the pain if it meant he could hear that sound every now and again.

"Where you headed to?" Sakura asked.

Naruto blinked. He wasn't actually certain of his destination. He hadn't even thought about it until she mentioned it. Sure, he was headed to his car, but what then? Had he been planning to go see Ino at the store? Go to his parent's place? Go to the beach for another one of his moments of self-reflection? And this was where the problem was, he surmised. He was aimless – lost in his world of introspective angst.

Thus, he was stuck with this question and when a man is stuck with a question, there is only one thing he can do: tell the truth. "I don't know," he admitted after a deliberate pause.

Sakura looked at him for a moment then glanced at the empty passenger seat next to her. "You want to hop in then?"

"To where?"

She shrugged. "Anywhere."

With that, Naruto supposed that maybe being aimless wasn't as bad as he initially thought – not if you could feel it together. As he walked around to the passenger side of the car, his phone started to vibrate. He opened the car door and looked at Sakura apologetically. His screen said Ino was calling him. The picture of her profile in his contacts flashed brightly at him. It was a photo he had taken of her a month ago on the beach. She was grinning brilliantly at the camera with the sea behind her. That smile seemed to claw at him and pull him towards a hole of guilt.

He quickly climbed out of that hole and turned his phone off.

Sakura gave him a quizzical smile as he got in the vehicle and closed the door. "Something wrong?"

"Nope," he answered with a listless smile, "nothing at all."

Sakura pushed the Corolla into drive, exited the parking lot, and turned onto the highway that led to the ocean. There was a stretch of silence between the two of them for a mile or so. As the lull increased in time, so did Naruto's anxiety. A webbed tension tugged in his stomach, and his seat felt stiff like a board. It had been so much easier back on the beach with her, he thought. His mood had been sharper then, and the words had flowed smoothly. But now his thoughts were far stronger, and they wouldn't let his mouth take over.

He wanted to say something, to enjoy the pull and allure of speaking to the source of his desires. But every time he found a topic to bring up, a dark tree or night figure distracted him.

If Naruto was being honest, he wanted to be distracted right now. He didn't want to focus on something so radiant in his world because it blocked out everything else. He didn't deserve to be so close to her. She was impossibly beautiful, and he couldn't compare to her. He was too addicted to her; and no sense of guilt, no matter how great or small, could stop him from coming back to her. He was a slave to the agony of waking up to her constant shaking. He _liked_ not dreaming because reality was sweeter than dreams. Sure, it hurt him and the ones around him. But it felt amazing when she smiled with those glimmering emerald eyes seeing him for what felt like the first time. She really saw him too; she granted permission for him to view her, and she acknowledged him. He was so unworthy of her attention too, so brutally pathetic.

When the black surge of the waves erupted above the dashboard and the Corolla turned north to run parallel to the shoreline, Sakura allowed for something even better than acknowledgement to reach Naruto. That honeyed voice came dripping into his ears, and he was instantly captivated by it, as if nothing else could ever satiate his needs. "So, how's everything going with you?"

It was a casual question, but it accelerated his pulse nevertheless. He clamped his lips together to keep from stammering off impulse and took a moment to collect himself. He almost took too long because Sakura was looking at him awkwardly by the time he answered her. "It's all right, I guess." He suddenly noticed a certain detail that had come up earlier that morning. It stuck out in his mind like an old book spine did on a crowded bookshelf. "Where's Sasuke, by the way? I thought you two would still be studying."

Naruto liked to consider himself an observant man, but his current affections for the girl sitting next to him dulled – not an uncommon occurrence for most men in his shoes – his senses considerably. If he had been paying more attention and maybe if the lighting in the little car had been better, then he might have noticed the disdainful frown Sakura displayed at hearing her boyfriend's name. Perhaps, it didn't matter if he noted it or not because the frown was gone before she responded. She even replaced her disdain with a carefree smile – _that_ he did notice. "We just got done studying actually. That's why I wanted to take a little drive, so I could get a break in."

"Is that a regular thing you do when you're stressed?" he asked. "Drive around?" Naruto hoped he wasn't being nosy with that question, but he supposed they were long past the depth this conversation was in.

Sakura shrugged. "Sometimes. I only do it when I really need to think about something. A time to really meditate on the more complicated things. I think everybody should have a little habit like that, you know?"

The blond could feel the tension in his stomach dwindle away. The conversation was starting to get exciting. "Yeah, I agree with that. I do something like that too when I need to think."

There was almost a layer of politeness in his Sakura's voice when she said: "Is that so? I'm glad." It took Naruto a second to realize that she was actually showing him something he didn't expect to hear at that moment: authenticity.

Naruto felt warmed by that. His seat was no longer stiff, and his back simply melded into it. Words were easy to exchange now, more natural. "But it's good you guys are studying. I keep telling myself to, but I probably won't start until the weekend right before Finals like I always do."

Sakura blessed him with that melodious giggle once again. There weren't any clouds now in his way. He knew he could soar freely with that harmonious music lifting the very air around him. "Yeah, we all tell ourselves that, don't we?"

Naruto smiled at her with a real vibrancy. He was gaining something from her; it was something he couldn't get from the woman who called earlier. Its taste was delicious and forbidden.

"But everything else is good?" she asked, concern prevalent in her face.

And here it was, Naruto realized with cold perception. He would have to talk about his mother now. She was obviously talking about that, and he just didn't want to right now. They talked about it earlier on the beach, but that didn't seem to stem from any obligation. It wasn't that he minded the topic itself, but the forced comprehension of everyone who heard his feelings about his mother was too much to handle. Nobody understood it, and that was fine in and of itself. He just didn't really expect anyone to get it. Besides, what truly bothered him was when others _pretended_ they got it, as if they thought empathy was simply feeling the same pain as the person next to you. He didn't want to see Sakura act like that; it didn't suit her style. It tainted the version of her in his mind.

" _You can always talk to me, you know_. _"_

Her words from the beach seemed louder to him now, like he couldn't actually hear real sound until that moment. He didn't doubt her ability to handle and understand his feelings, but he was too scared to get deep with her. She hadn't completely presented her heart to him, so how could he do the same? That was what couples did, and that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't a cheater and neither was Sakura. But then why did he turn his phone off, knowing his girlfriend was trying to reach him? He was worse than a cheater now. He was something so bad that he couldn't even come up with a label for it.

If he couldn't be honest about his feelings involving his mother, then maybe it was all right to give Sakura a little bit of his heart. Just a little, he decided. Nothing too deep. Nothing too strong. He knew if he showed her too much underneath the surface, then he wouldn't be able to climb back out.

"No, I don't think it is," he finally stated slowly after considering it for a while.

To Naruto's surprise, she didn't ask him to expound on that. She simply nodded and said: "I see. Sorry if I'm prying, but I'm glad you know that."

Naruto blinked and looked straight at the advancing road through the windshield. Was she not going to say anymore? Wasn't she curious? "You're…glad?" he inquired.

She smirked a little, like she had been expecting that reaction. "Yeah. Most people who go through a rough patch in life either say they're fine when asked or actually _believe_ they really are. The second is far worse than the first and usually is a result of the lie being told over and over again." She beamed at him. It was dazzling. "So, I'm glad to see you're not lying to yourself, Naruto."

Naruto's eyes were wide and clear at hearing that. He knew she wouldn't pester him about it any further than that. She was patient and would wait for him to be ready to talk. The time would come when he would need to let it all out, and she would be willing to listen. It would be far more proper for that privilege to go to his girlfriend, but he wasn't going to think about that right now. Ino was in another world now with her calls actually being answered. He didn't deserve a girl like that either. He didn't deserve happiness, but he yearned for it so deeply. And it was sitting right next to him.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

Sakura didn't respond. She had made her point and gave him the time to think about her words. The grade of the road increased then, and the Corolla clambered up it with ease, its little four-cylinder engine humming pleasantly. When they reached the apex of the jutting cliff, Sakura parked the car on the side of the curb. It was the same place where Sasuke had taken her on their first date, but she kept that to herself.

Naruto looked curiously at her as she stepped out of the car. This spot was familiar, but it wasn't special to him. Somehow, he knew it was to her and not _only_ to her. That thought gave him caution. If this was a special place for her and Sasuke, then he was in dangerous territory. Then again, maybe he had always been. Ever since he and Sasuke had met this amazing woman, trouble may have already crept in.

Sakura approached the thin rail overlooking the drop. Naruto joined her. The lights of the city blinked at the end of the bay, and he could hear the busy waves drown out any noise civilization may have made. The dark sky was cloudless, and the night was easy to enjoy. The ghosts of space showered their affection down on the two onlookers so much that even the moon couldn't cease their torrent.

Standing next to her, Naruto felt almost complete. If being in her vicinity was all it took to make him feel whole, then maybe he should be taking a risk. On second thought, he was taking enough of those just by being with her. There was a point where an upright man should turn back. Too bad he wasn't that kind of guy, not anymore.

"It's so beautiful," Sakura commented, drawing Naruto out of his gloom.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. But he was no longer looking at the view.

Her eyes – so lush and full – were alive. He knew just by seeing them that she was admiring the beauty around her, drinking its form so effortlessly. She was enraptured by something, and that acceptance seemed to heighten her own magnificence.

She glowed in the dark, and only he could see her.

Sakura turned to meet his gaze, and she didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that he was staring at her. "I'm glad you're here, Naruto."

Naruto couldn't feel his feet; they were suddenly numb. His heart was thumping so much that he couldn't imagine the dullness in his lower body had anything to do with a lack of blood flow. She sounded so sincere when she said that though, he thought. She sounded like she really meant it.

"Why?" he asked calmly. It was a query born from impulse, and he needed the answer. It was long overdue.

Sakura's eyes widened, and she coughed slightly. "W-what?" She coughed again and then laughed. "Sorry, that caught me off-guard. I was hoping you'd just repeat it back or something."

When she realized her nonchalance wasn't being returned – as evidenced by his silent, piercing look that matched the ocean she loved so dearly – Sakura's expression became more somber. "Because you're important to me, Naruto. I like being around you."

Was it OK to feel such happiness? Such blissful feelings were not meant for his miserable soul. She actually _enjoyed_ being around her? Naruto couldn't believe it. Every rational part of his brain was shouting at him not to get carried away. Surely, she meant it platonically. She obviously enjoyed Sasuke's presence more than his. Why else would she be with him?

Amidst the rational facets of his mind, there was a recollection of something Dr. Nara had said to him on one of his first days in class. The professor had mentioned something about people spending their time where they wish to. Unless it's against their will, everybody is where they are because they _want_ to be there. Even when his classmates were groaning during lecture, they were there because they wished to be. There was some reason they could justify if they had to for being there in that present moment. People typically took for granted how much control they had over their lives. Dr. Nara had said all this with an air of wisdom that Naruto found to be as enlightening as it was elementary.

With that in mind, Naruto realized that Sakura was here with him because she wanted to be, and that meant something. She wasn't with Sasuke, and that also meant something. But his rationality wouldn't let him accept the truth. If it did, then the repercussions would be too intense. His heart wasn't ready for that kind of inevitable turmoil. He was pretty sure hers wasn't either.

He was about to question it. He was about to ask Sakura about her feelings for him and Sasuke. Which of them was really more important to her? Before his thoughts could manifest into words; however, Sakura's phone rang.

Her smile was humble as she pulled her cell from her pocket. "Sorry. Hold on." Her thumb slid across her screen.

Naruto saw a quick flash of light and stared at the name on her phone with immediate horror. It was Ino calling.

* * *

 **For the past few months, I've been having a lot of trouble with writing. It was starting to get so ridiculous that I was only able to write a sentence or two for days at a time. I couldn't figure out what was going on with my brain. I then read a really good book by one of my favorite writers, and it was exactly what I needed. I was getting rusty, I suppose, because I wasn't pinpointing that creative drive accurately. My motivation wasn't centered, so to speak. After reading, I realized I needed to make a schedule of reading and writing collectively from now on. It was far easier to write out my thoughts once I started doing that. I've started looking at this story and my other in-progress work with a little more...urgency. So, I should be able to crank out updates more consistently now (let's hope so, anyways).**

 **Also, I do want to mention again how incredibly personal this work is to me. Most of the experiences and thoughts of the characters are ones that I have felt myself. It was a little less melodramatic in my case, though. Perhaps, that was already obvious, but I wanted to be straightforward about it. That's also probably part of the reason why it takes me so long to write out an update for it. I've felt more distant from my other stories in the past, and this one just directly derives from my experience.**

 **Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. Let me know your thoughts on it, if you can. I hope you're all doing well.**

 **-CM**


	12. Scatter

Chapter 12: Scatter

" _No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,  
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,  
To feel for ever its soft swell and fall,  
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,  
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,  
And so live ever—or else swoon to death—"_

 _-John Keats_

* * *

Throughout her life, Ino never considered herself to be a bystander. Her parent's divorce and remarriage had thrown her into the center of her world. Because if this, it became difficult for her to visualize anything else. Typically, whenever people tended to dissuade themselves of not being the main focus of their own inner reality, it created an imbalance in the mental equilibrium. Humans needed to understand how important they were or else they were doomed to forget themselves.

Ino didn't want to forget anything.

Ino's parents had constantly gone through conflict after conflict during her childhood. Seeing her father scream at her mother about not showing him enough attention had caused her to look inwardly. Was it her fault? Had she not been giving enough attention to either of them? It had taken her several years and a warm discussion with Naruto at the ski lodge to make her realize it had never been about her. It was her parents' issues that caused their separation and those had started long before she had even been conceived.

So then, why did she blame herself? Why did she only think of herself? Maybe it was normal to consider what was happening to her and what her responsibilities were in the moment over anyone else's. Maybe it was a way for her mind to cope with the tragedy. That sounded about right. She wondered what her parents had done wrong, then. Did they miss the point of marriage? Did they ever really love each other? They got back together in the end, so perhaps they did.

Like she had told Naruto, after her parents' remarriage, Ino thought about what she could do to keep matters steady. But was that another mistake? Because she was thinking of herself again, she only created more pain in her life. And after realizing that, the naked truth creeped in, as if it was hiding all along in some darker corner of her mind:

Ino was the cause of her own problems.

But that hadn't been good enough for her. Just knowing that couldn't get her to where she needed to be. So, after deciding to think more of others, Ino pushed aside her issues and tried to appeal to Naruto. It was almost too easy to think of the blond, she quickly noticed, like folding a smooth, freshly-washed bedsheet. Whenever he smiled so extravagantly, Ino wanted to freeze it and keep it as a solid part of her life. And that was when she realized she was in the wrong. Now, that certainly didn't sound like someone selfless, right?

No; on second thought, she only wanted what he could give her. Again, she was only thinking of herself and what _she_ could gain. She was only trying to hide that fact now, covering it with blankets of squalid self-indulgence.

This grim revelation of hers formed as the flashing colors blinked in Ino's vision. She could hear Tenten's high-pitch voice buzzing a few meters away. It couldn't drown out the dial tone, though. The infernal dial tone that kept ringing after Sakura had hung up was too damn piercing. It cut into her, reminding her of her guilt. The cops were taking Tenten's report, and she was vomiting out enough words to write a novel. Ino gazed inertly at her friend's frantic hand gestures from her seat on the concrete curb of the parking lot.

After she had failed to get a hold of Naruto, Ino had dialed the emergency hotline. Several minutes later, when the hooded man was already long gone, two patrol cars had raced into the parking lot. Once the police had stopped their questioning, her initial reaction was to call Naruto again.

But she knew he wouldn't answer. She knew all along. After the adrenaline had faded, it all made sense. She knew exactly where he was.

Sakura's words were what hurt the most. No gunman could ever hurt her like Sakura's words did. _He's with me._ Of course, she already knew that, Ino thought. She had known for a long time now. He's always been with her. Ever since the two of them were a part of this world, they were destined to be together.

Ino squeezed her phone in her hands, the plastic case wincing thinly at the pressure. They were on their way, and she was going to break when they got here. She had time to think now, and she was thinking far too much. Her best friend wasn't at fault. Hell, Naruto wasn't even at fault.

Ino was the one thinking of herself. Naruto was thinking of Sakura, so he was the selfless one, right? Of course! How fucking great was that man! He was so concerned for her roommate! What a wonderful boyfriend he was! Ino brought her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing. It was all clearly her fault. She was just being selfish. It was just like her parents. It had nothing to do with her. She was simply an onlooker from the sidelines, and she should be grateful she was even allowed to watch them. This was all about them, and she was powerless to change anything.

She had nothing to do with her parents' fights, nothing to do with their remarriage, nothing to do with her own life; she was never the center of anything. Realizing that was like fading away into the backdrop of a large, beautiful painting. The artist clearly wanted her to be there, but she was still only one drop of colored paint among many others.

She was not remarkable at all.

A moment later, Sakura's Corolla rolled into the lot, and Ino could feel something expand in her stomach. It flared hotly when Naruto stepped out of the passenger's seat, his face bearing all the concern she could ever want. He was so selfless.

Ino was still staring rigidly at her boyfriend when Sakura shook her shoulder. "…OK?"

"What?" Ino asked from another world.

"I said," repeated Sakura, "are you OK?"

Ino felt the blue-and-red lights dance in her eyes. The cops were still talking to Tenten and seemed uninterested with Ino and her boring life. She was just someone in the background, after all, nobody important. "I guess," she stated. "Where were you two?"

Sakura looked up at Naruto standing next to the curb. They exchanged a glance that made the sensation in Ino's stomach burn, as if a fissure vent had opened there. "We were going for a drive," Sakura answered.

"Yeah," said Naruto. "My phone died, so I'm sorry if you were trying to reach me."

Somehow, Ino knew that was a lie. She didn't have any evidence of his falsehood, but she could tell by the gleam in her boyfriend's eyes that he felt ashamed. He was ashamed of neglecting her in a time of need. "I see," Ino said. "Well, in that case, it's fine." She grinned. As badly as her stomach boiled, Ino didn't want it to spill over. It would be better to wait. "I'm just glad you're all right, Naruto."

Naruto returned a smile. It was slanted, and Ino didn't miss it. "Good. Um, should we get out of here?"

Sakura sighed in relief. "Yes, are the police done questioning you, Ino?"

Ino turned to look at Tenten nodding to a cop. She would be talking about this night for weeks, probably for the rest of her life. Ino couldn't blame her. It was probably one of the most exciting moments she'll ever have. Just like Ino, Tenten would fade into the background. People like them never deserved the spotlight.

"Yeah, they released me a while ago." Ino replied after she was done looking at something she could never be. "I'd like to get some sleep now."

"Of course," Sakura said as she stood up and held Ino's hand. "Let's get you home."

Ino waved to Tenten as they walked to Sakura's car. Ino was pretty sure her co-worker sent her a nod, but that was all she got. The three of them then entered the Corolla and drove off.

The ride back was peaceful enough. There were some scattered questions from both Naruto and Sakura. They mostly involved specifics about what had happened and what Ino had felt during the incident. Ino kept her answers simple and concise. She didn't want to revisit her emotions and thoughts during the robbery. It took enough concentration to suppress the crack in her stomach. It wasn't satiated. It desired release, and Ino knew she would have to let it open soon enough. Just a little longer, she thought; just a little longer and she could dispense all that was contained within her.

When they reached the campus, the night had already passed into its longer hours. It was these hours where emotions were strongest, where they could surge and cry out to the stars above. Ino could feel the night calling to her as she exited the car. She could hear it beckoning her to drop her restraints and permit the flow to happen. She couldn't resist the tempting call for long. No, like all things of nature, she needed to be heard—to be known.

Sakura turned to her roommate in the campus parking lot. "You all right, Ino?"

Ino smiled up at the blackened sky. "Yes. I feel great." She glanced at her friend. "Could you go on ahead, Sakura? I need to talk to Naruto."

Sakura frowned thoughtfully and looked to Naruto, then back to Ino. "Sure. I can do that."

Ino couldn't stop smiling as she watched Sakura's retreating figure move towards the dormitories. She kept an eye on Naruto's shuffling feet at her side. He probably had an idea on what this was going to be about, but, oh boy, oh gosh, was he going to be surprised!

"Look, Ino…" he started, "I lied. My phone wasn't dead."

Ino stared at Naruto with a steadfast expression; it was reminiscent of a statue's gaze. "I know," she replied.

Naruto's eyes widened. "What?"

A strong pulse from Ino's veins made the fissure vent seethe in her belly. It hissed and told her to hurry up. "I already knew that. I'm not mad."

Caution leaked from Naruto's features, and Ino couldn't blame him. She probably looked terrifying to him right now. She liked the thought of that. The pain in her stomach liked it too.

"You're not? Well, then, what did you want to talk about?"

Lava dripped through the cracks. Ino was concentrating so hard to keep it intact. She had always been trying to quell her issues, to disregard the painful parts of her soul. But she had to be certain, just once. "Do you love me, Naruto?" she asked as the skin around her eyes flushed.

Naruto's arms dropped to his side. He wasn't expecting the conversation to turn such a bald direction. Who would, right? Who could ever predict Miss Ino Yamanaka? Surely, the girl was thought about by so many people because she was _worth_ thinking about. She was the center of the universe!

But Naruto didn't think that and it hurt. It hurt just like a burn in the…well…in the stomach. "Do you love me?" she repeated when he didn't answer.

Hearing the question a second time didn't seem to register with him because Naruto was speechless. He was transfixed by her attitude, but he couldn't seem to answer her. He must have been thinking about someone else, she realized. He was so selfless, after all.

"Didn't you hear me?" she asked. Her voice sounded so sweet, as if there was no heat to be found in the area. But there was a lot of heat in her. It was scalding. "I asked if you want what is best for me. I'm sorry, but didn't you hear me?"

Naruto shook his head in confusion and his fingers bended hectically. "I-I don't…"

"Did you fucking hear me!?" she shouted. It broke; she could feel it pouring out like fiery magma. It surged throughout her whole body and made her head hurt. "Do you love me, dammit!?"

Naruto's hands came up, shielding him from her fury. But that only made her angrier, as if his calming gesture simply fanned the flames. "You don't, do you, Naruto? You never did, right?"

Hot, flaming tears trickled from her eyes, and she thought the pain subsided as they fell—just a little.

He took a step closer and maybe if she hadn't felt the vent growling in her belly, she would have beckoned him to hold her. Maybe she would have asked him if he knew anything about pain. Like how did one stop the lava from flowing? How did one understand what to do when their loved one cared so little for them?

"Ino…" he called.

"Stop!" she warned. "Don't come any closer until you answer me! Naruto, I need to know. I need to know you love me because it's too hard living without knowing. My heart's burning in agony, and it won't stop. So, please, just tell me the truth! Stop hurting me."

Ino felt alive then. Her true feelings were coming out and it was freeing, like seeing that a lock on a cage had never actually been there; it had all been an illusion. She was the one hurting herself, but now it was his turn to accept the responsibility. She could only carry so much.

Naruto took another step, and the asphalt seemed to open when his foot hit it. It became a portal for the lava to slip into. She almost cried out to him again. Ino almost allowed herself to be fooled again. But she had to struggle just a little more, or she could never face the front again. She would remain a bystander forever if she didn't try to appeal to the crowd.

"Ino…" Naruto said again, softer this time.

"Please," her voice weak, "don't." She rubbed her sleeve against her soaked cheeks. She had to wipe away the evidence of being broken. "I can't take it anymore."

He reached out and embraced her, and she melted into him. She yearned for his touch and could never be truly mad at him. He was just as hollow as she was. He was the only hollow one around her. She saw that in him as soon as she met him. He carried an emptiness in him that no one else seemed to understand, but she could feel it. It was all she had ever known.

Then, he told her the greatest lie, the sweetest. "I do, Ino. I love you." His voice was like honey that dripped from his mouth onto her shoulder and proceeded down into her spirit. The vent lashed out with rage at her. Didn't she see it was all a lie? He was clearly telling her only what she wanted to hear.

But Ino didn't care.

She cried into Naruto's chest and felt his great warmth coat her entire being. She would accept the lie, she said to her heart. She would accept it! And just like that, the crack in her stomach closed. It sealed away its contents and dried up like an old scab.

"I love you too!" she called back, her heart singing. "And if that ever changes for either of us, then..." She wept so freely, so purely. _Then I'll change too._ She took the lie and buried it deep into her heart where nothing could harm it, because it wasn't really his. It was hers. It was her lie. It was all about her, and she just couldn't accept anything different. Her mind would crumple, otherwise.

Despite her compliance, Ino couldn't completely receive his words. The truth was always present, even if no one acknowledged it. Ino was just a bystander. She knew that as her boyfriend's heartbeat seemed to meld and bounce with her own.

She could never change anything.

* * *

When Sakura heard the door click shut, she shifted under her bedsheets. The light from Ino's phone glowed and illuminated her path to her own bed. Sakura watched her shuffle across the room and undress. If Ino knew Sakura was awake, she didn't show it and slid into her bed after she put her phone on her desk.

For several minutes, Sakura lay on her bed, observing the steady rhythm of her roommate's blankets moved by her breathing. Her nighttime thoughts skirted around the events of that evening, allowing her mind to analyze everything that had transpired. She was confident she had made mistakes tonight and hurt Ino in the process. She had known it when she walked away from the two of them, so they could talk. She had heard it in Ino's voice. She felt it now with the sleepy tension in the air.

And the worst part was: Sakura didn't feel _that_ guilty.

Obviously, Sakura regretted distracting Naruto to the point where he was neglecting his girlfriend—at least to the point of Ino's safety being questioned. If Sakura hadn't been with Naruto, then maybe something could have been prevented. She certainly felt that much remorse for her actions, but…

That was roughly where Sakura's conscience stopped minding.

When Sakura was a little girl, her best friend once had a doll. It was a pretty doll with radish-red hair and smooth ivory skin. Her friend had showed it to her many times throughout their younger days, and every time Sakura saw that gorgeous doll, a green line of envy would creep across her desires. It would taunt and tempt the little girl day and night until her entire mind was fixated on the doll. So, after many weeks of jealousy, Sakura decided to steal the doll. She had done so one afternoon at her friend's house after she had gone to the bathroom. And when Sakura wrapped her greedy little hands around the red-radish hair of the doll, she knew she could never give it up.

It was her doll.

Once her best friend had realized the doll was gone, she immediately cried and wailed for days afterward. Sakura's friend had searched every place she could to find it, but it was all for naught. She never found it. Her friend never even accused Sakura of stealing the thing, and to this day, she was still marveled by that. Eventually, Sakura remembered hearing about her friend's parents getting her a new doll, but the damage had already been done.

Sakura had heard stories about thieves. She had heard about how they would regret their decisions to the point of looking at their stolen items with disgust, as if they had never wanted them in the first place. This was not the case with Sakura and the doll. She loved that doll, and she loved it until she reached the age where girls stopped caring for dolls. At that point, she considered it a symbol of when she was young and reckless. But the point of the doll was clear to her, even now: she never really felt guilty.

Having Naruto was like having that doll; she needed him. The more time she spent with the man, the more she realized how amazing he was. He was so careful and courteous, like he was unsure of where he was or what he was doing. Most girls enjoyed confidence in men. Sakura preferred _sincerity_. She considered confidence to merely be the point of faking one's feelings of fear. The truth was everybody had insecurities and issues with their self-image. The wonderful fact about Naruto was that he didn't pretend he didn't have them. He _owned_ them, as if no one could touch them or tell him they weren't his own.

Being with Naruto that night had made Sakura feel like she wasn't swimming in some aimless pool with no semblance of direction or purpose. With Sasuke, she never really felt like she was going anywhere. But Naruto's presence, on the other hand, created a clear path for her. It was a path she knew she could walk, no matter what the end held for her.

Sakura had been driving around that night to escape her feelings of futility. When she saw Naruto lumbering towards the parking lot; however, everything morphed into a world of comprehension. She had called to him feeling confident, as if she was meant to do that very act all her life. Nothing could make her budge when he was around. Having him in the car made her feel buoyant and fortified in her resolve; she couldn't be stopped by anything.

Seeing him so quiet and uncomfortable had elicited a form of empathy in her. She cared about him and wanted to hear what he had to say. But he was still too uncertain, too unaware of how his feelings were moving and breathing inside of him. He had to think more on them and then he would be ready. Then, he would tell her. And she would be ready.

And when they got to the cliff…

Oh, she was ecstatic! Her initial thought about going there was for the sake of comparison. She wanted to test something. When she was first there with Sasuke, the sensations were strong but not exactly unique. They were the mundane feelings of a crush, of a person who wanted to feel satisfaction. But with Naruto, it was so different, so sweet. Sasuke was a brush of autumn leaves that promised winter down the road. But Naruto was summer—vibrant, sunny, and jovial. And yet, he was oddly introspective and attentive. He had layers to him that not everybody saw, but Sakura saw them, and she wanted to see all of them.

She yearned to dive into his reaches and pull out the parts of him he only knew of. He was trying so desperately to hold himself together, and she wanted to help him. But just like the doll, he was not really hers. And who was she, anyways? Naruto was not a doll! He was a person with rights and a brain. And Ino and him had every right to be together and stay committed to one another.

But despite this, Sakura still couldn't give him up, because she could see it in him; he was so lonely. He was unsatisfied with Ino and wanted someone else.

So, she would be a thief again, she surmised in her bed that night. It would hurt others, but she wouldn't be content until she had what she wanted. She knew people like that should be labeled as scum, as people who cared for only themselves. But Sakura was more than that; she was a woman who had finally figured out what she desired in her life. Finally, she had real purpose! But now she had to surrender that for the sake of society's ethics? How was that fair? How was that as moral as people suggested it was? Yet, even with these thoughts, Sakura still couldn't deny the obvious: she would be hurting her friend.

Thus, Sakura felt conflicted. To go through with it and take Naruto away was not completely her own decision. Naruto had to be willing, too. If that happened, then Sakura could consider herself scum or trash or whatever label they would give her. And, yes, she would feel guilt then. Because there was another detail to her story with the doll. When she stole the doll and buried her face parsimoniously into its rich, red hair, she had cried like she did now into her pillow. She cried like a thief.

* * *

 **It's almost painful to type out these words, as many of them arise from personal experiences. Of course, I find there is enough clout in them to write them, so I hope that you all can see that much. Feel free to express what ever thoughts you have as I do enjoy reading your comments.**

 **-CM**


	13. Don't Leave

Chapter 13: Don't Leave

" _What you are to do without me I cannot imagine."_

 _-George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion_

* * *

Sakura stared pensively at the gift in her hand. It was a picture of her and Sasuke, beaming at the camera with the ocean in the background. Crowds weaved and paraded around her in the terminal as she noted the image. He had framed the photo in a sleek, blue frame with sea shells adorning its corners in an asymmetrical and stilted fashion. Her likeness seemed so gleeful, unaware of her fickle feelings ruining everything. His pleasant smile appeared to be just as ignorant of her transgressions as her own.

Sakura must have been staring for far too long because she soon felt Ino nudge her shoulder. Her attention broke, and she looked up to her boyfriend.

Sasuke's expression seemed apologetic. Somehow, that didn't bother her; she didn't care. "Do you not like it?" he asked.

"I love it," she declared. That might have been a _slight_ exaggeration on her part, but she wasn't lying. She thought the picture was nice, but it did make her feel uneasy. It was like she was gazing at a person she had never seen before, a person who pretended the world was good.

"It's a very beautiful picture, Sasuke," Ino chimed from Sakura's side. When Sakura had invited her and Naruto along, she had seen the scene going differently in her head. In reality, it all appeared too natural, like they were just regular college students saying goodbye to their friend. She wished it could be that simple.

Despite her grievances, having Naruto next to her made Sakura feel a little better. His attitude obliterated the inky barriers her mind built up to prevent her anxiety from overtaking her. He grinned at Sasuke and added: "Yeah, you both look real happy."

Sakura felt her spirit lift gently at seeing Naruto's grin. She looked back at the photo and agreed with her friend. They _did_ look happy. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe she had been truly happy in that picture, and she should be more positive about seeing it. "Yes, we do," she said. Her eyes flickered over to Sasuke. He was smiling at her. Whatever she had seen in him prior to the unfair drifting of her affections, may have been present in that moment. If it was, it was surely lingering within his eyes.

"I'm glad you like it," he said. "I thought it would keep you in line while I'm gone. I'd hate for you to forget about me."

 _Too late_. Sakura smirked. "I think you're more likely to forget about me, young man. The girls in Japan are going to flock to you. I should be the one to worry."

Naruto chuckled. "Sounds not too different from being here, to be honest. I wouldn't concern yourself with him, Sakura. Sasuke's great at rejecting women."

Sasuke scoffed and flicked Naruto's forehead in mock annoyance. Ino started laughing, and Sakura smiled sheepishly. She was starting to have doubts about her initial thoughts—they did seem like normal college students after all. Of course, no one thought there were any thieves among this jolly crew. There was no one with selfish intent. They were just kids with idealistic dreams and nothing to concern oneself over. They were pure and young.

Sasuke stepped forward and kissed her before she could snap back to reality. She was so taken aback by the action that she pushed him away. She saw a flash of pain cross his features as he stepped back. She almost felt guilty, but those feelings were long gone now.

Sasuke cleared his throat and nodded. "Well, um, I'll miss you guys."

Sakura felt a shudder surge up her spine. "Wait. I'm sorry, sweetie." She embraced him and nuzzled her face into his chest. She thought she heard Ino sigh with relief behind her. It certainly wasn't Naruto making that noise; she was certain of that. "You just startled me. I'm going to miss you so much."

She didn't see Sasuke's face as he reached his arms around her to return the hug, but she was confident he was content. He didn't know he was dating a thief.

They released each other, and Sasuke turned to his gate. "Looks like they're starting to board," he announced. "I better get going." Ino gave him a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Sasuke brought his hand out for a handshake when Naruto approached him, but the blond grabbed and squeezed him tightly.

"Don't forget who your friends are, OK, ya bastard?" jeered Naruto.

Sasuke didn't bother to feign annoyance this time around. He just shook his head and smirked. "I won't." After Naruto released him, he leaned forward and kissed Sakura again. "I definitely won't." With one last wave to his friends, Sasuke turned and left.

Sakura recalled a gray memory as she watched him retreat towards his plane. She waved with the others, and she lingered on that memory. Back in high school, she had an old boyfriend who once went on a long vacation. When she had given her farewells to him at the airport all those years ago, they had barely kept their hands off one another. Every time he had moved towards his gate, she would stop him and hold him back for another flurry of kisses and sultry whispers. That type of behavior was considered taboo in the Japanese culture, but she couldn't help herself back then. She had been so consumed by that boy.

Some people—some older, wiser individuals—would have said that was a step in the right direction, that Sakura was making progress and acting far more mature than her younger self. But she didn't believe that.

Because she felt nothing now. Seeing Sasuke leave the country for the whole summer did absolutely nothing to her; in fact, she could feel her pores open in a clean sweep of true elation, breathing in the free air greedily. She could think now. She didn't have to pretend like she was a confident, perfect young woman. She could be the thieving, rapacious fool she knew she was. She cared about her outlook, but her love was too strong for that this time. She would use this time wisely. She would steal what was rightfully hers.

* * *

Minato paused in the little archway leading into the living room before he actually entered it. The sight of his wife sleeping on the couch stopped his advance. Earlier that afternoon, she had opened all the windows in the room to allow the seasonal air to drift in. The small garden he and Kushina cared for over the years could be seen from the opening to the back porch. Affable scents of organic vegetables and ripening berries floated in with the delicate breeze. A wind chime—one Kushina had picked out that winter at the hardware store—twinkled against the fragile gale, its suspended tubes dancing gracefully as they brushed one another.

Minato felt his shoulders relax at examining the atmosphere. It would be nice to join his wife. The house had grown quiet in recent years after Naruto moved out, but Minato didn't mind. He preferred the tranquil intricacies of being alone together with Kushina. He knew he worked too much and as he observed the peaceful expression his dreaming wife was showcasing, he recalled the reasons why he had married her in the first place.

He enjoyed her charisma; it was a trait their son had inherited. That ability to make others find her quirks and temperament endearing was a rare one and seeing it mature over the years was enriching. Her physical beauty is what had pulled him in when he first met her, but it was that charm that kept him in place. She loved to encourage others as well, and his spirits always rose when she whispered a piece of affirmation into his ear. He was never scared to be authentic with her; in turn, she was unable to present anything that wasn't a part of her nature.

Even now—with sickness easing into her body—her attitude was admirable. Her doctors had placed her through two treatments already, and she was holding on. Watching her steady rhythm of rest and the vivid background of spring transitioning into their home was better than any painting he could imagine. He decided he could do this all afternoon. It was only when he realized there was probably a better option he could undertake that he roamed over to the couch.

Upon closer inspection, Minato took note of how fair her skin was, like alabaster polished by meticulous hands. She was moping and grumbling the other day about an article saying her skin would dry out because of the chemo. He tried not to smile at her cute frown as he told her it will also become incredibly soft. Her eyes betrayed her then; the little things didn't matter to her as much as she pretended. He could tell his wife worried over a softer and painful future, one that dwindled down into hollow discrepancies.

Kushina had tied her hair up earlier that morning, and Minato knew why. The uneven patterns were noticeable, but the red vibrancy was still there. It was strong like her cheer. It remained steadfast in midst of woe or unseen sorrows. He could learn virtues from her, but any of those perceived notions were still too cumbersome to grasp.

He glided his palm up to her cheek and soothed her skin with his thumb. Slowly, her eyes opened, and he was hit by a wave of violet love.

Kushina smiled. "Hello," she mumbled.

Minato felt a heat rush to the back of his eyes. He repressed its approach, but it still burned dimly. "Hi, dear. Sorry to wake you."

"No, no." She stretched into a sitting position on the couch. "I'm glad you woke me up." She gingerly looked around the room. "My, it's _lovely_ today."

Minato clutched her hand and rubbed it with his fingers. "Yes, it is. Should we go for a walk?"

Kushina sighed and reclined her head upon the backrest of the sofa. "No, I'm afraid I don't have the energy for something like that."

"Do you think that's going to be a recurring thing?" he asked.

The inherent cheer in her face diminished slightly. He mentally kicked himself for that. "I suppose," she said, "but I don't think it'll be an _absolute_ thing—" Her mirth returned to the rich vitality he expected from her. "But let's not talk about the future, dear. It's a little too depressing for a day like this."

Minato reached his hand out to handle a stray lock of her hair, but Kushina's own hand interrupted his action. "Don't," she stated. "You'll pull it out, honey."

Minato lowered his hand. "Already, huh? I thought so. Does it hurt?"

There was a battle in her eyes; she was caught between the truth and the chance to further his unease. The stalemate she reached pleased him. "Yes, a little."

"Let's shave it, then."

Kushina locked her full attention upon him. Apprehension leaked from her expression, and he smiled fondly at her. "It'll be fine, dear," he said calmly. "It'll have to happen sooner or later. I'd love to be the one to do it, too." When he saw there was still hesitation within her, he leaned across the couch and kissed her.

"It'll be fine," he whispered after he broke the kiss.

Minato always possessed questions about love. In his youth, they were mostly centered on the brevity of its reach. What did it look like? How far did it go? What were its conditions? As he grew older and began to understand his companion's desires and character, they changed. He didn't enjoy speaking with his coworkers or other friends his age about the topic, for their views of marriage were either stagnant or beaten down by exhausted circumstances. They were arrogant in their comprehension of it being virtuous and faithful. It involved hard commitment and patience to make marriage work for them. Minato didn't necessarily disagree, but it bothered him that they stopped asking questions. They became so certain, and any other insights or additions were only mere extensions of their beliefs, as if there was no reason to search anymore.

Because as Minato appreciated the depth of his wife's smile, there was one powerful question in his mind:

 _What will I do without you?_

The dedication he had seen in his wife earlier was now replaced with affection—grand, immense, and as natural as the spring air. "I'm gonna miss it, you know," she revealed tenderly.

The heat in his eyes pushed forward then, and it took an absurd amount of willpower to release a chuckle rather than tears. He would be strong with her; it was easier that way. "I think _I'm_ the one who will really miss it, honey. You don't understand how much I love your hair."

"Oh, really?" She giggled and pecked his cheek. "Aren't you getting bold. Do _you_ have any idea how much women cherish their hair?"

With a big grin, Minato declared: "Nope!" He then picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. She squealed in his arms and clutched his neck tightly.

They exited the living room as the smooth currents of spring twirled within their home, assuring life for those who needed to remind themselves of its wonders.

* * *

The wind whistled through the window, carrying the taste of salt and the subtleties of the season. There was a hint of summer intermingled with the sounds of the waves and the birds' songs in the air. Additionally, these subtleties ferried in the fresh traces of blooming flowers and the proclamation of sunny dispositions. However, the light—with all its morning energy—couldn't seem to enter. For in that room, there was no sun; there were only two captured lovers.

Naruto felt weightless, his body pressing into the mattress. Ino wrapped her hand around his cheek. "Do you feel it?" she asked.

Naruto frowned thoughtfully at that, his gaze turning to the window for a moment. "What?"

The sweet experience of the night before had been like a weak fire to them—warm and needed, but it ultimately left them colder than they were from the start.

Ino's tender fingers rubbed his face, as if she was trying to uncover something hidden. "This feeling. This terrible feeling."

There were many things he was feeling, Naruto thought dryly. He believed she was enduring something similar. But there was only so much he could say to her…or lie about.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Did you not enjoy last night?"

Ino's eyelids lowered, and it obscured the usual sharpness of her eyes. "No, that was nice. I'm not talking about that. It's this swelling feeling; this feeling that keeps expanding to the point where it really hurts. I just don't want to leave, Naruto"

Naruto gave her an affectionate look. He twisted his own hand into her hair. "I know, Ino. I don't want you to go either." That wasn't a lie. He was sure it wasn't.

Ino's shoulders relaxed and seemed to sink further into his bed. "I mean, you saw the way Sakura looked when Sasuke was leaving, right?"

He didn't respond to that.

"It was so sad," she continued. "I can't imagine us having to do the same."

"We'll be fine. We're pretty tough people."

"I don't think that's true, Naruto." Her words drawled out, like they were fading into the distance. "I think I was wrong before when I talked about wonder."

At first, Naruto had trouble with what she was referring to. Yet realization came to him slowly but distinctly like the dawn. Back when they were first spending time together, they had gone to the beach and talked about their thoughts. That seemed so long ago to him now.

"In what way?" he asked.

She closed her eyes. "I thought humans could lose it, you know. I thought they weren't as wondrous as the waves were. But I was wrong, Naruto."

"What changed your mind?" His questions were starting to hollow out, like a withered tree stump.

Ino opened her eyes, and they were wide and clear. "You," she announced, smiling.

Naruto felt a dry patch in his throat. Surely, this misplacement was unwarranted. A liar couldn't be given such an honor.

Before he could ask for her to elaborate, she kept going. "You're too wonderful, Naruto. I think I was so scared of not having anything worthwhile in me that it was too hard to see it in anybody else. No, wait, that's not right." She grinned innocently, as if she was figuring it all out right there on his bed. She was discovering all the secrets of the world in front of him. "I was lying to myself the whole time. I was telling myself that if I wasn't special, then _no one_ could be. Only the natural, perfect things in this world could possibly be that way, and humans certainly weren't like that." Her grin softened and became sweet, so very sweet. "But not you, Naruto. No, you showed me that wasn't true. Everything is wonderful and special. It's just like what Dr. Nara says about how everything has meaning. Everything is beautiful, Naruto!"

Naruto covered his mouth with her hair and held her tightly. They didn't say anything for a long time. His own mind lingered on her words and felt their torturous sting. Ino had hit something really profound, he was sure of that, but the fact that she put him at the center of her findings was disillusioning.

When they made their way to the airport later that evening, she said she loved him. He said the same thing back to her. He said it without a pause or a sliver of emotion.

It was getting easier.

* * *

 **I apologize for the short chapter. I had planned for an additional scene between Ino and Naruto at the airport, but I felt that would appear too repetitive and bulky for the themes presented in this. I also want to give an explanation behind the changes between the earlier chapters of this story and the more recent ones. There's probably a big gap between the quality of them, and there are some inconsistencies that are minor but need to be addressed. I'll be doing a massive edit to clean all this up when I finish the story, (something that's not too far down the road) and I hope you can all give me some patience with that. I feel like I'm always asking for that, so I'm grateful to receive so much of it from you guys.**

 **Thanks for taking the time to read.**

 **-CM**


	14. Summer's Honey Breath

Chapter 14: Summer's Honey Breath

"' _Think how you love me,' she whispered. 'I don't ask you to love me always like this, but I ask you to remember.'_

 _'You'll always be like this to me.' [he said.]_

 _'Oh no; but promise me you'll remember.' Her tears were falling. 'I'll be different, but somewhere lost inside me there'll always be the person I am tonight.'"_ _  
_

 _-F. Scott Fitzgerald, Magnetism_

* * *

 _Sure. Come on over!_

Naruto pushed the button on the side of his phone, and the screen went dark. There was a numbness in his thumb from the countless times he had done that in the last hour. He shoved his phone into his pocket and jogged out of his yard. A light drizzle fell from the overcast, and he pulled his hood up as his legs pumped against the soaked sidewalk.

He raced past the parked cars along the curb, windshields painted by the rain while the dusky streetlights cleaved through the scarred, felled drops on the glass. Naruto focused on the rhythm of his steps, so he could drift away from Sakura's text; it had stolen too much of his time already. The late spring showers were known to not persist for long, but that evening the pace of the rain hastened. By the time he reached the campus, Naruto was drenched.

He rushed quickly to the dormitory with the downpour giving no sign of subsiding. Water trickled down the pipes and brick walls of the building, and he heard the streams percolate as they formed small pools by the front door. After stepping into the dry hall, Naruto found her room.

And he stopped.

Sakura's door was in front of him, and he only had to knock. But his brain wouldn't let him complete the action. What was he doing? He abhorred it when his impulse dominated any form of wisdom or caution he had stubbornly constructed over the years.

But she was in there.

The air grew stale, and his breathing was shallow, as if the water had suddenly flooded the hall and was rising to silence him. It would be so easy to just walk away now, or maybe go somewhere else to think over his options. There was no certainty in that moment; he could do anything at all because there were so many possibilities and opportunities remaining. But as soon as he plunged into the decision, he'd be eradicating those chances.

The looming, regretful flood seemed to engulf all thoughts. It was the hardest right before his hand rapped against the wood.

He'll drown, he told himself. He will drown. The water was too violent, too spiteful. He was so positive he would drown and…

"Naruto!"

He took a deep breath. "Hey."

Her eyes surveyed his figure. "Oh no; you're soaked, Naruto. Did the rain really get that bad? Come in. I'll get you a towel."

She retreated into the restroom as he seemed to float into the dorm, and his lungs expanded with the redolent aromas. He had been in that room a few times before because of Ino, but it was still a rare occurrence. Ino didn't like to spend too much time there, and they had usually decided to hang in either his dorm or some other location.

But in those few incidents, he had never experienced this _fragrance_ before _._ It silenced any sense of drowning, and there was a savory flavor to the florid, enriching samples that blessed the air.

Sakura stepped into the main room with a bath towel in her arms, and Naruto took in her presence. She was wearing make-up—more than he typically saw her using—and that fact didn't mollify his frazzled mind. Her hair spilled across her shoulders, and the amusement in her eyes heightened when they locked with his own.

"My, you're dripping all over my room," she said, smiling.

Naruto ran a hand through his wet hair. "Er, sorry."

Sakura took the towel and dropped it onto his head. "Dry up, OK? I hope I don't have to run your clothes through the dryer…"

Naruto was thankful for the towel that concealed how red his face must have been. "—Um, no thanks, Sakura. Just give me another towel, and I'll be fine."

She tapped her chin with her finger, as if she was contesting the idea. "Hmm. All right. I just did a load earlier this morning, anyways."

He sighed with relief as he blotted his wet hair. "Thanks, Sakura."

A smirk surfaced on her opulent lips. "You didn't drive here, huh?"

Naruto didn't match her gaze. "I felt like running…"

Genuine laughter bubbled from her, and she shook her head incredulously. "You're unbelievable. Well, I hope it was worth it."

To him, that laugh alone was worth it.

Naruto returned her smile and inspected the room. It seemed emptier with Ino's side left relatively bare, but Sakura's side was just chromatic and vibrant enough to make up for it. She had layered a collage of photos and pictures to hang on her wall comprised of places she had visited and friends she had made throughout her life.

As Naruto noted the art, he discerned an odd conclusion—in every picture of Sakura, her smile seemed off. It was different from what he had witnessed in previous exchanges, more fabricated, as if someone had drawn it by hand.

"How are your parents doing, Naruto?" Sakura asked, pulling him back from the images.

Ordinarily, that question would have dropped him into a dismal state, but it was Sakura asking. "They're all right. I'm watching over my mom when my dad's not around, so I get to spend some time with her." He shrugged. "Not a bad summer."

Whenever his mother was mentioned to the people aware of her situation, their countenance would usually lower, and they would attempt to assuage any feelings they felt had emerged within him. Naruto was starting to dislike that because those reactions felt almost forced and unwarranted. He preferred it when the individual was presenting their authenticity rather than a comment based off obligation.

But Sakura didn't force anything—just like she had done on their car ride back when he lied. She simply nodded and flashed a smile. "Good, you should be with her as much as you can. Of course, I'd enjoy it if you kept me company as well. The college is so dead right now."

"Absolutely," he added, his body suddenly lighter. "You can come by my place any time, too, if you want. My mom would like that."

Sakura seemed to be startled by the invitation. "Oh, really? Well, that might be a tad intrusive, you know, and it's not like they know me..."

"I've told them all about you, actually," Naruto admitted with a bright grin. "You'll be more than welcome!"

Any surprise that may have been present in her expression was then replaced with gratitude…and something else—something he hadn't seen from her before. It was similar to a look Ino had exposed to him once.

"Wonderful," she said as she pointed to the little TV in the corner of the room. "You wanna watch a movie or something?"

Naruto looked at the TV—expecting to see a simple entertainment system—and he immediately recognized the console stationed underneath it.

"No way!" he cried. "Is that a Nintendo 64?!"

He saw a smirk crease against her lips. "I thought you might like that. You wanna play?"

He didn't even answer her, instead he ran to the shelf the console was on and began sifting through the games she had. "You've got _GoldenEye_! Holy shit! Do you know how much fun this game is? And _Ocarina of Time_? I had no idea that you were… Fucking _Mortal Kombat_ too!"

She giggled and knelt behind him. "Yeah, I got all these when I was little. I've played all of them countless times. Although, it's been some time since I used it last. My other consoles are back at my house in Japan. I didn't think I'd find the time to play them, but I just couldn't neglect this baby. Too nostalgic."

A playful glint flashed in Naruto's eye. "Think you're still any good?"

"Better than you," she teased.

"You're on." He slammed the cartridge into the console and turned on the TV. The opening screen reading ' _GoldenEye'_ appeared on the screen and that characteristic music Naruto recalled from childhood began playing.

For the next hour or so, they played multiplayer against each other with most of their matches ending up even. By the point where Naruto's luck ran out and Sakura kept winning the rounds; however, the blond paused the game and abruptly fell onto his back.

"Are you a hustler?" he asked gravely.

Sakura laughed and reclined next to him. "No, I just finally hit my stride is all." She seemed to stare at the ceiling then, and a quiet moment drifted through them. Her thoughts silently settled on the fact that she had a chance now. A thief was an expert at taking advantage of a situation. But was she an expert yet? She wondered if hoping to be one was a bad thing. She was sure she was asking the wrong question there, and she had the doll to thank for that.

"How's Ino doing?" she asked. "You talk to her recently?"

Naruto glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Yeah, actually. I just called her this afternoon. She said her family's happy to have her, and they've already taken her on vacation to their beach house."

Sakura grinned. "So, she left the beach for another beach?"

His chuckle made her grin ease into something more heartfelt. "Yeah, I guess she did," he mumbled.

"Do you miss her?"

Naruto could feel the room tilt around him. That was a dangerous question. "Yeah, of course," he lied.

Sakura nodded and stared at the ceiling. On long nights of restlessness, she would look at the same ceiling and dwell about the man next to her. But unlike those nights, tonight she would try a different approach to her feelings. "Let's do this as much as we can, Naruto. We have all summer, don't we? We should plan stuff to do! Will you be working a lot?"

Naruto shrugged. "Not really. A few more hours than I normally do, and I'll be closing a lot, but I should still have plenty of free time."

Sakura's eyes lit up and extended her hand out to him. "Let's make a promise, then—we will spend the whole summer together. Just the two of us!" She winked when she uttered the last sentence.

Naruto sensed a sudden discharge of heat across his body as he reached to grab her hand. His head was befuddled as he realized their hands were intertwined. "OK," he muttered.

Naruto later grasped how that simple promise evolved into something far more convoluted than he had expected. It was as multifaceted as the concept of virtues and the morality of desires. It was so easy for matters like love and hope to twist and mangle into the darker sides of themselves. They normally started with such good intentions, but it was just effortless, almost painless for them to change. And it didn't take long for aspects of guilt and sorrow to slither in and break what was originally an innocent promise. After that, was it really fair for people to start blaming others for the pain? Was anyone really at fault for making an honest mistake?

Would she forgive him?

Outside, the stormy, drowned wind wailed and rattled against the worn eaves of the building.

* * *

A few days later, Sakura visited Naruto's home. And when she met Kushina Uzumaki, she almost cried. If she had, then her tears would not have been a sign of pity. No, nothing like that, because seeing Naruto's mother sunken-in like she had reverted into the dried shell of herself did not elicit a surface-level response from her; it simply made her sad. Kushina was wearing a red wig that was styled into a bob and almost appeared as natural. Sakura surmised that before the diagnosis, she would have easily been labeled as a beauty. Even after, there was a wiser clarity to her, like a wilted petal watered by affliction. The woman's milky, bloodshot eyes seemed to accept Sakura. She could tell there used to be more vivacity in those eyes and in some ways, there still was. It was just muted, as if someone had simply placed a warm blanket upon them and asked them to be quiet for a little while.

"Welcome!" Kushina greeted with a warm smile.

There was a universal charm to mothers that seemed to carry across cultures and continents, and Sakura could tell Naruto's mother wasn't too different from her own based off that gracious, affable demeanor she wore.

"Hello," she replied. "You have a lovely home."

Kushina's smile widened. "Why, thank you, dear. Are you two hungry? I could make something…" She motioned to move off the couch, but her son was quick to protest.

"Mom, you don't need to do that," he said.

Sakura waved her hand politely. "Yes, we already ate, Mrs. Uzumaki. We're fine."

Kushina observed the young girl with a growing sense of admiration. "I bet you wanna change that to _san_ , don't you, sweetheart?"

Sakura blinked. "Ah, maybe. But we're in the wrong country for that, I believe."

Hearing a sweet spring of laughter from the woman made Sakura's cheer heighten. "I guess so. But it'd be nice to hear it again. It's been an awful long time." A faint glint surfaced behind her clouded eyes, and that was when Sakura wondered if there was also a likeness between the two of them. "You have the attitude, you know—that pleasant poise our people carry so well. You're welcome to call me whatever you like, but I'd prefer Kushina."

Sakura bowed her head. "Absolutely, Kushina. Thank you for having me."

Naruto grinned and rubbed his neck. "You kidding? Mom was practically begging me to invite you over."

There was no embarrassment in his mother's smile when she said: "He's exaggerating, of course, but I'm so glad to finally meet you. Now, you're Ino's roommate, right?"

Sakura tried her very best to not wince at the mentioning of her friend's name, but a fierce, involuntary muscle pulled at the last second. Kushina's eye would have noticed it, too, if it wasn't already analyzing her own son's similar reaction. "Yes, that's me," answered Sakura.

Kushina motioned to the sofa next to her. "I see. Well, please, sit down."

They took a seat on the couch adjacent to the identical one that Kushina was reposing on. Sakura regarded the numerous blankets, tissues, and empty water bottles that littered the woman's area.

Kushina caught the glances and brandished her best carefree smile. "Sorry for the mess. I've been sleeping here for a while now, and I tend to let things get out of hand."

Sakura flushed, ashamed. "No, I—I'm sorry, Kushina. I believe you have all the excuse in the world to do whatever you like. I honestly can't imagine what you're going through."

Kushina beamed, her wig tilting considerably to the side of her head. She adjusted it, assiduously. "Now, that's hardly fair, sweetheart. Misfortune should never be a reason to disregard good company. I've been on the other end of that issue myself, and I just hate the very idea. I certainly don't want to put my son's friends through that."

Sakura proceeded to giggle at seeing the transparency from the mother of the man she adored. "I appreciate that. I really do."

"I knew you'd like her," Naruto commented.

"I'm sure you didn't expect us both to get along, though, sweetie?" Kushina asked with a buoyant lilt to her voice. "You could only be so lucky."

Naruto's eyes landed sincerely upon Sakura. "I am. I'm very lucky."

Sakura felt an instinctive song well in her chest, and it soared high into her soul because of the kindness from both people with her then. She cleared her throat and addressed Kushina again. "How's the chemo going, by the way, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, it's been quite effortless," responded Kushina with no hesitation. "You'd be surprised by how simple it is really. And my doctors are _so_ nice. They only have good things to tell me."

"Like what?" Sakura asked.

"Oh, well, I tell my husband and Naruto this every day, but the tumor in my breast has been getting smaller and smaller. My doctor says they'll still need to do surgery in a month or two, but by that time, it should be a cinch."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, Mom's pretty confident about it, so I'm not too worried either."

Sakura gently brushed her hair. "That's just wonderful! Do you ever feel sick, though? I've heard the chemo is real harsh on the body."

"Yes, it is, but it's mostly fatigue for me. Everybody responds to it differently. My immune system is weakened, too, but as long as I'm careful, I'll be fine."

If Sakura had any concerns when meeting Kushina, they had vanished by this point. The woman simply had a potent assurance to her words, as if doubts were mere images devised by the unsure and had no actual impact on reality. That was a sobering thought to Sakura; she felt she could work with that. "Well, sounds like it couldn't be better for you," she added.

"Absolutely." Kushina nodded and turned to her son. "Naruto, you should give Sakura a tour of the house. I'm sure she'll love it!"

Naruto grinned and grabbed Sakura's arm. "Sure thing, Mom." He led her to the stairs and they marched up to his room.

Sakura was a little surprised by Naruto's room; it wasn't as dirty as she had anticipated. It wasn't exactly _clean_ , but it had as much personality to it as the man himself possessed. The rest of the house was exquisite, and she felt like she was allowed to see a true gift. But as Naruto dragged her through the home with an energetic countenance, Sakura felt disordered.

Did he have that same smile when he showed Ino the house? A crawling worm of doubts wriggled into the quieter, murkier reaches of her mind, devouring the contentment she should have been feeling. And when they came back to Kushina, she sensed the constraint. She saw the cultivated joy in the older woman and coldly realized she had been incorrect earlier, after all.

Naruto's mother was nothing like her.

* * *

Summer days drifted along with the ocean waves, oblivious to the change. The birds serenaded the warmth and the active life of the season, yet they remained lost in their stolen bliss. They couldn't appreciate the truth through their rosy glass; they wanted to dampen the midsummer calls. Remarkably, nature didn't mind because it could breathe even if no one took a moment to acknowledge it. It was content even without their attention.

Naruto and Sakura tried to spend every day they could together. They traveled back and forth between their places—neither party really caring where they were as long as they weren't alone. After work, no matter how late, Naruto would drive to the college and knock on Sakura's door with the promise of some half-baked plan being suggested. They tried to accomplish as many little goals and ideas they could think up. On sunny days, they would often go to the beach where Naruto would teach Sakura how to surf, or they would go hiking in the hills west of the city. When they weren't outside, they were playing video games or talking endlessly about the many topics that rose between the two. Some nights they would barely sleep and stay through the wee hours joking and laughing.

But despite all this time together, the subject of their relationship was not raised—not until one late evening in July.

They were in Sakura's room that night, chatting about trivial things, and it wasn't long until the conversation neared the inevitable.

"That was my fault, actually," Naruto admitted after unceremoniously collapsing to the floor.

"No way," Sakura remarked from her place on her bed. "There's no way you actually left him there!"

"I really did. I was only on the highway for like five minutes until I turned back to get him. He was still pretty pissed. Acted like I'd been gone for months."

Sakura was failing to stifle her laughter. "Uh, yeah! I'd be pissed too if you left me at a damn gas station!"

Naruto chuckled. "I wouldn't do that to you. Sasuke, on the other hand, is a very forgettable person."

She finally gave up and released a throaty cackle. "Can't argue with that!"

They both started howling after that. When their amusement finally calmed down, Naruto ended up being the one to turn the mood. "Have you talked with him recently, by the way?"

"Um, not for a week or two. He's been pretty busy at the company. What about you? You talk to him at all?"

"Yeah, I called him the other night," he answered. "He sounded super tired, but I was expecting that. He said he was enjoying the job at least."

Sakura's smile wasn't as strong as it should have been; Naruto didn't notice. "Of course. He's got a great work ethic." She paused then, debating whether the next words she said were the best to bring out. She knew a perfect moment didn't exist for anything really. There were only moments that weren't horrible for high emotions. The rest took courage. "I talked to Ino last night."

Naruto's head rose from the carpet. "Really? What'd she say?" He had called her a few nights ago, but it had been a short chat.

"She said she misses us." Sakura wasn't looking at him. "She's a little worried, you see." Naruto said nothing and waited for her to continue. The air in the room felt thicker, as if it was trying to compensate for the lack of integrity. "She wonders if you miss her as well, Naruto."

Naruto closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. His perception wasn't dulled by that statement, but his conscience flared hotly. It wasn't pleased. "She said that?"

Sakura slid closer to the edge of her bed. "Yeah." She then repeated the same question she had asked that rainy night a lifetime ago. "Do you miss her?"

Naruto turned his head to look up at her. She was watching him closely, warily. "I—" His words were caught by her judicious and mossy gaze. For some reason, he didn't want to lie to her again. He felt he would be restraining himself then. And that wasn't something Sakura deserved. He had to be different with her. He closed his eyes again and summoned those wizened virtues of his.

"Not really."

When he didn't hear Sakura's response, he opened his eyes and saw her smiling at him.

"It's hard to live a lie, isn't it?" she asked softly.

Naruto gawked at her and sat up. He couldn't believe she was accepting such a harsh statement like that. "I—I don't...um…"

Her melodious laughter lifted the mood around him. "Don't revert back to your shell now, Naruto. You're doing so well. I want to hear it all from you."

"Even the stuff about Ino?" He felt like a child asking that, as if he was requesting permission to use something already designated to be okay to use.

To his surprise—and his delight—Sakura reached her hand out from atop the bed and stroked his hair slowly. "Especially her," she whispered. "Tell me everything."

Naruto could feel his heart swell. He stomped on the guilt he had constantly tried to resist. And strangely, it was working this time. It was as if her presence was giving him stability or maybe, to be more precise, she provided the illusion of stability. He thought he could say anything to her. But they both knew he couldn't—not everything.

"I'm scared," he muttered. "I'm so scared, Sakura."

"Of what?" Her voice was tender, beguiling.

"Of myself. I feel like I can't ever be myself anymore. It's like I'm a different person all the time now. It's an awful feeling, Sakura. It's this feeling of pretending I'm some great guy who cares about others, but I'm only hurting them in the end."

She kept the smile, but it was milder now. It was comforting. "Why are you doing that?"

"Because I'm _scared_." That word was growing in his mind the more he used it. "I'm scared of what will happen. I'm running away from the immediate pain and settling for the longer kind because it doesn't hurt all at once. I know it's actually worse, but I can't help it. I lied to Ino about loving her because I thought I was helping her. But in reality…" He felt the truth get stuck in his throat, and he mustered the bravery to release it. "I was just being a coward."

Sakura stopped brushing his hair. "That's okay, you know. It's quite normal to be a coward."

He shook his head. "That doesn't make it right, though! I'm hurting her. I'm hurting _myself_."

Sakura hung her head limply from the side of her bed. "And I think everybody does that, you know. I think we're constantly suffering by our own hands. The only difference is between the ones who are aware of it."

"Oh, I'm aware of it," he stated dryly.

"Good," she added as she beckoned him with her fingers, "that makes it real, then. That means you acknowledge it, and that's the first step."

He stared at her with pleading eyes. He approached her and leaned against the bed. He needed more. "The first step?"

"Of forgiving yourself."

Naruto's swelling lessened, and he could feel moisture surge to his eyes. But he prevented any tears from emerging. This wasn't the time. Not yet. "Have you ever really done that, Sakura? Have you ever had the courage to forgive yourself?"

If his respect for her could have multiplied, it did when she said: "Nope."

"Huh?"

Her eyelids lowered like fallen leaves on a forest pool, floating faintly on its emerald waters. "I've tried, but I can't do it. I'm really a terrible person, you see. I've done some nasty things and probably won't ever stop. Not everyone is as tenacious as you are, Naruto. You can step up from your past self and learn from it. You _want_ to do better, but most of us don't. We're quite fine with who we are, and we hate that. We hate it enough to hate ourselves. And that makes us terrible."

"That's not true—" he started.

"It is, though. It really is."

"But how? How are you so terrible?" To the best of his knowledge, he couldn't conceive of a scenario where she was as immoral as she was declaring.

Sakura focused on him, her expression morphing into something complex and deliberate. "Because I'm here," she whispered. "With you."

Confusion colored his features, and Sakura felt pain from that view. She was always confusing the ones she cared for, making them uncertain of her intentions and who she was. "What are you talking about?"

In that still moment—with the lulled sounds of the summer night outside her open window and her heart bashing in her chest—Sakura didn't feel caged. She felt free. "I'm here with you and I shouldn't be, Naruto." She gave him a little smile. "I love you and I shouldn't."

An odd occurrence happens when a man is presented with such an overt and welcomed statement from a female: they end up wondering what the best course of action is. And they always feel in hindsight that they could have responded better if they had only been given more time. But the inherent silence typically troubled the females, so a man knew he didn't have much time to say the best possible thing to encourage them.

With his mind getting hazy and his entire physique weighing down on him, Naruto choked out a reply. "I—I don't deserve that…"

Sakura's head swerved from side to side. "But you do! I know you do. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, but I _want_ you, Naruto. I'm constantly thinking about how I really messed up this time." There were drips of agony and remorse falling from her mouth; they mingled with her tears. "I'm always so fickle and uncertain of my decisions, so it takes me a while, but…I really fucked up. I need you, Naruto. I can't keep pretending I'm a good person when I'm with you. I can't lie to you anymore."

Naruto felt liberated. For the first time since he met her, Naruto felt like he wasn't holding himself back. Was it all right to be honest now? Was he allowed to have what he wanted?

He rubbed his forehead. "Sakura, wait; this is a lot to take in."

Sakura grabbed his hand. He was still on the floor at the foot of her bed. She pulled his arm and he complied. He was in her bed now. "I know it is, Naruto. But I can't pretend that my feelings don't exist."

"How long have you felt this way?" he asked as he placed both his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm not completely sure. It became apparent when you and Ino first announced you were dating, but I think it was before that. I misplaced my feelings and thought they were with Sasuke. But you two dating kind of woke me up, made me realize what I was really doing. I'm not so good with love, you see. I typically abuse it and act like I know what I'm doing."

There was that sad smile again. It hurt him. It felt like it was tearing into him. "Stop talking like that about yourself, Sakura. None of it's true."

Her sobs grew heavier, and she wiped her face with the back of her hand. "But it is! I'm so terrible, Naruto. You have no idea how awful I am. I won't rest until I get what I want, but I'm never satisfied with it. I always want more! I always demand more of people! I can't st—"

"Sakura!" he cried. She trembled in his arms and stopped crying. He brought her face closer, and she could view the vitality in his blue eyes. "Stop, please. You're missing the point, Sakura. I don't love you because I think you're perfect. It's not all about expecting someone to always do the right thing. It's also about knowing their mistakes and understanding that they can be helped. You're not defined by what you've done. You're not terrible for having faults. All that just makes you more real to me. You're Sakura Haruno, and I don't want you any other way."

Sakura's vision was already foggy with tears, but it was obscured even further at hearing his words. The most notable sentence of his happened to stick out enough to aid her next question. "You love me?"

Naruto gritted his teeth and nodded. A grand uprising of his emotions flowed in him. He knew they had been building up for a long time because of his issues with Ino, the reality of his mother's health, and his affections for Sakura. And finally, they could be freed in this place, for her.

"Yes. I do."

The magnetic force between them—the same pull that had always been there—was strongest then, and it slowly brought them together. Gently, tenderly, the distance lessened. Their lips met, and all the pure sensations of the world opened in that summer evening. All the pain shared between them dissolved back into their bones, and their hearts surrendered by loosening the pleasure of the moment. Passion flew higher and it wasn't long until they were both under the covers, exploring the love they finally unearthed.

Amidst their desire, there was a push of reality trying to break in to remind them of the ramifications of their actions. And they would eventually listen to it, but not before the pain came back from the bones and abated the future.

Tragedy lingered on the horizon, biding its time.

* * *

 **Well, there ya go. This is what you were all waiting for, right? I told you this was a NaruSaku fic. Haha. Sorry it took so long to get to, but it was important that it was like this. There are some minor things I'll need to go back and change when I finish this, but I'll worry about that later. The story isn't over yet, I'm afraid. There's some key points that will be addressed very soon.**

 **I hope you liked the update!**

 **-CM**


	15. I Heard Her Call

Chapter 15: I Heard Her Call

" _She was the one who always knew the hay would be there."_

 _-Stephen King, The Last Rung on the Ladder_

* * *

Once when Naruto was very little, she took him to the park. She didn't recall that day as particularly sunny, for there was a kind of haze to it that stuck in her memory. It made the time at the park—with her boy running to the water to look for frogs—bleary and brimming with simple love. But it became more lucid when she remembered how happy her son was whenever she would pick him up to show him the size of the park.

That memory served as the sign of her love, and Kushina tried to look back on it when needed to relive the simplicity.

Now, she was lost.

The world was covered by a milky mist, crystallized particles floating mildly. There were golden, flickering lights interspersed throughout the mist. She was standing alone, and she found the lights to be bothersome. They didn't tell her anything. She had no idea where she was, and the tangibility of the lights didn't help. They made it worse; they mocked her.

Suddenly, the ground retreated and she was falling. The mist gathered into a chute of white, and the lights poked out endlessly as her body descended. There was no bottom, but there was another light—grand and lacking in color. It grew closer as she plunged deeper into the order, as if it would allow her a blessing. But when it finally came and enveloped her, she realized it was lying. There was no knowledge there—only the promise of finding more. Once she understood that was good, she could begin to question.

Before Kushina escaped into the final promise, she received one last image. She saw her son, looking down at her with concern. He was so strong now.

He didn't need her to show him how big the park was.

She had to tell him the truth. "I'm going to be OK," she said to him.

The image faded, and she drifted into the white—withdrawing from the onus of the world. The golden lights accepted her dancing form, and Kushina kept searching. She kept knowing.

* * *

Naruto got the call from his father that morning. He had spent the night at Sakura's dorm, and he had just used her shower when his phone rang.

"Hey, Dad," Naruto said over his phone after he checked the caller ID.

There was silence over the line before he heard anything. Then, his father's voice cracked through. "Naruto, the surgery…"

Later in his life, Naruto had trouble remembering exactly what his father had said. What he did remember was hanging up and turning to Sakura with a stoic expression.

She was lying on her bed and frowned with concern when she saw Naruto. "Something wrong?" she asked.

He relayed his father's message to her and concern morphed into fear. They were in her Corolla a few minutes later, racing down the highway towards the hospital. Naruto recalled Sakura talking to him during that drive. But his mind was elsewhere; his eyes gazed at the weather outside.

Rays drowned the city in a casing of golden charm. The close swell of the sea rimmed the western horizon beyond, cheerily accepting the sunshine with diamonds of light. Scattered, fragile clouds lazily outlined the cornflower blue sky and seemed to add clarity to its expanse. Towering buildings appeared to reach these clouds, but the futility was lost to them. As Naruto watched this, he wondered if the day even cared for what was happening to him. Rain or some overcast would have been more appropriate, but he supposed that was selfish of him. His wishes should have been purer.

They reached the hospital, and Sakura parked the car near the entrance. She warily eyed Naruto exit the passenger side, his frame tottering under the weight. He languidly told her to not worry, and they entered the hospital.

Minato met them there. Naruto tried to make sense of what his father was telling him. He understood the surgery had not gone well. His mind was too fuzzy to make out the rest. He kept focusing on the moisture around his father's eyes. Why had he been crying? When his father said he would take them to his mother, Naruto's look changed. He grabbed Sakura's hand and followed his father.

They took an elevator up to a higher floor of the hospital. Kushina's room was down the hall from the elevator, and when Naruto saw her, he wanted to collapse. Tubes connected to machines stretched from either side of her and bandages covered her arms. Her skin was yellow and thick, purple veins spanned her shaved head. The sound of the heart monitor reverberated throughout the room, and Naruto regarded his father walking up to her side.

He held her hand and started to weep. Naruto didn't recall his father crying very often growing up. It felt odd to see his father acting like that. It was unnatural. Minato said something about how she was still alive, but the doctors said it was moving too fast. Even if she survived, she would be in intense pain. Naruto wasn't sure what to expect from that knowledge. His mind couldn't accept what was occuring. Everything felt so quick, so wrong.

Sakura squeezed his hand and whispered that she was here. He didn't remember her saying much else after that. A nurse came by and asked if they wanted any food. Minato said they should eat, but even he didn't touch the food after it came. By the time their meals were cold, nothing had changed.

Naruto thought he would be cursed by the steady rhythm of the heart monitor. Every second was comprised of its clear, shrill reminder that his mother was still pushing along. It reminded him she was still fighting. His own heart was working tirelessly for him, but now his mother's was in a state of crisis. What was the separation between his heart and his mother's? Was there really all that much of a difference? They were both trying their best. They were both not giving up. But one was going to surrender soon. His mind kept coming back to the fact she would be in pain if she lived. Was that fair? Did that mean it was inevitable?

At one point, Naruto was holding his mother's hand. He could feel the warmth there, but it didn't feel like it normally did. It felt dry and worn—like a deserted shell. Her chest faintly rose and fell from her steady breathing, but the bare noise that drifted from her nose sounded wrong. His father told him to be strong, but Minato was crying again. Naruto nodded and wondered why he couldn't seem to mourn himself. Even Sakura was tearing up behind him, her body shaking as she wrapped her arms around her torso.

After half the day had passed, Kushina's doctor entered the room. She seemed to pause and dimly glanced at the three of them. She sighed and approached Minato. She placed a hand on his shoulder. Naruto's father must have seen something awful in her eyes because his sobs deepened and he buried his face into his hands. The doctor nodded to Naruto and pressed a few buttons on the computer screen next to his mother.

The monitor went black and all the lights on the other machines shut off. The doctor stepped over to Naruto and touched his arm. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said quietly and left.

What? Wait. What? Naruto's mind seemed to deflate. His eyes darted to his mother and then the blank screen. His father attempted to stifle his wails, but he was no longer coherent. Cold knives ran up Naruto's spine and cut into the base of his head. Slowly, like ooze, a dark and dense feeling dropped from his head and fell to his stomach. It was there that it opened and became hollow. The very hollowness Ino had mentioned to him once before seemed to spread throughout his entire being. A smooth type of numbness encased his body, and his joints felt stiff and uncomfortable when he tried to flex his fingers.

Naruto was the first one to realize what had happened.

And when his father said this was a hard moment for them right now, Naruto knew he had to be the one to tell him.

Naruto clutched his father's arm and kept his voice low. "Dad, I think she's gone."

The sound—the fucking _sound_ his father made in that moment haunted Naruto for the rest of his life. It was such a weak gasp of air that he had never heard from him before. It was like he was trying to grasp what sense of sanity he still had left, but the noise only made his son feel worse. Naruto had always viewed his father as this figure of strength and solidified courage, so to hear that outcry made him see a different perspective; it was a perspective he could have done without.

Despite all that was happening, Naruto did not cry. The tears just wouldn't come, and Sakura held him. She buried her wet face into his shirt, and Naruto didn't push her away. After a long time, Minato took out his phone and began making calls to the family. It was that sense of duty that stabilized him; it distracted his brain from shattering under the stress.

Naruto simply watched his mother. He wanted to see her move—to see her make a sound again. He didn't want to forget her face, but he knew he wasn't going to be seeing much of it anymore. He couldn't even think of the future then. His head was heavy with the hollowness starting to tighten, as if there were strings at the end of his skin that pulled him in.

The afternoon dwindled and no semblance of peace was known to the three in that little room. Kushina's lifeless body reclined on the bed and seemed to be impartial to the mourning around her. Naruto kept wanting desperately to grieve alone. He had the impulse to crouch in a corner and really feel the emotions welling inside of him. But his father needed him. After Minato told his son someone would be picking up the body later, Naruto told him they should leave. His father kept spouting jargon about the funeral arrangements. He would need to set up a meeting with the funeral home and request some death certificates. Naruto cut him off and repeated they had to leave.

He was afraid of what would happen to his father if they stayed any longer.

As Naruto pulled his father out of the room with Sakura right behind them, Minato looked back at his wife. A careful, agonizing flash crossed his features, and he began to bawl once more.

Naruto told Sakura to go home. He would drive his father home in the Escalade. She said she didn't like the idea of leaving the two of them alone, but Naruto was persistent. Eventually, she made him promise to see her again tomorrow and only then did she leave.

The quiet drive back home was painful. At first, Naruto attempted to drown the silence with music from the radio, but it sounded foreign to his mind. He turned it off and saw the pitiful expression of his father. Minato was staring out his window, playing the events of the day over and over again in his mind.

When they got home, Minato turned to his son and said something about dinner. That thought must have reminded him of his wife because his eyes glazed over and he was silent. Naruto called for some pizza, and he found his father standing idly in the living room.

"It still smells like her," Minato whispered.

With that, he crumbled onto the couch and wept into his hands. Naruto observed his father and felt the empathetic tug to comfort him. It was what was expected of him. His father needed some solace from the only other person around, but Naruto couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it. He left his father and traveled up to his room.

The sight Naruto was greeted with when he entered his room finally broke him.

While he was gone and spending the last few nights with Sakura, his mother had cleaned his room. She had arranged everything neatly. All around him the flair and touch of Kushina was evident. She had folded his clothes into a neat pile, and the trash had been taken out. The awards and trophies he had earned over the years from assorted clubs were organized on his shelf, and she had known which ones were most important to him because she had put those in front. She must have had a burst of energy, he thought coldly. And her first thought was to clean his room. His mother thought of him and decided to help him...and…

Naruto fell to his knees. He cried.

He released everything all at once. He lowered his head into his lap and struggled against the soaring anguish. It tore him apart, and he could only ride along with its insatiable torment. His mother was really gone. The one person he felt he could always talk to—the one who knew him better than anybody else was actually gone now. Accepting that was going to be so hard. He wasn't apt to handle the transition well, so he rode along with the pain for now.

When he was young, probably not even four yet, his mother had taken him to the beach. He revived the memory of watching the seagulls fly over his head, and his mother holding him in her arms. He stumbled over to one that was perched on a log, and she picked him up to give him a closer look. The seagull squawked and flew away, leaving Naruto laughing happily. His mother giggled with him and nuzzled his cheek with her own. The sensation of her smooth skin against his was still so vivid to him.

And with extreme clarity, he recalled her voice saying: "Mommy loves you, Naruto. Mommy loves you very much."

He screamed then. He screamed into the floor, his carpet scratching his face. He couldn't accept it. She had lied to him. She had known all along she wasn't going to make it. But she held onto the hope of it. She had believed in the chance she would live and wanted her loved ones to do the same.

So, Naruto grieved. The events of the last few weeks were forgotten. He didn't think of Ino. He didn't think of Sakura. His mother was the only woman on his mind, and that was just fine. He thought his father had stopped by at one point with the pizza, but that was probably just his imagination because he never heard him say anything. Surely, his father would have comforted his son if he saw him on the floor crying—just like Naruto would have done the same.

Later that night, after all his tears were spent and dried away, Naruto fell asleep on the floor. He dreamt of the beach and bright red hair drifting in the wind. She was singing to him over the rush of the waves. At some point, her notes changed to simple words. She kept saying how much she loved him and how sorry she was.

Even in his dreams, Naruto cried.

* * *

 **My own mother passed away from breast cancer a few years ago. I believe this was my attempt at handling that...in some way. Most of this chapter is almost identical to how it happened to me with some slight differences more or less. I started writing as a means of therapy because of this tragic event. I knew that at some point I would need to write the account of what happened. And when I started this story over a year ago, I realized that once I introduced Kushina, this fic would be the one to do it. As you can imagine, it was very difficult to pen down. I really lost it at certain intervals in this chapter and wanted to cut the whole thing and make her live. I was afraid that this was just too personal, that this was going too far. But I knew I had to do this. I had to relay some part of this truth to others, even if no one else fully understood. I wish I could have made it longer, but I think I brought my point across, so sorry that it was so short. I do want to add that this isn't my attempt at a Mary Sue or some kind of appeal to pity or whatever. This is simply me grieving in my own way. We all have to deal with death in this life and one of the themes in this fic is doing just that.**

 **I'll see you all in the next update. Thanks for reading.**

 **-CM**


	16. The Late Surge

Chapter 16: The Late Surge

" _For the first time in years the tears were streaming down his face. But they were for himself now. He did not care about mouth and eyes and moving hands. He wanted to care, and he could not care. For he had gone away and he could never go back any more. The gates were closed, the sun was gone down, and there was no beauty but the gray beauty of steel that withstands all time. Even the grief he could have borne was left behind in the country of illusion, of youth, of the richness of life, where his winter dreams had flourished."_

 _-F. Scott Fitzgerald, Winter Dreams_

* * *

It was rather peculiar to hear the same thing said over and over again. At first, it was normal for a person to take it with a grain of understanding; they were simply trying to help. But as those identical words with differing voices and inflections drifted by, it didn't take long for bitterness to surface. Because when cynicism's edentulate mouth came to burrow into the scarred tissue and fed upon what crawled from the words, the intent ceased to matter. And before the person knew it, those good intentions became as insincere and vacillating as the world itself.

"I'm here for you if you need anything," the elderly woman said gently.

How did they do that? How did they all say the same thing? Those words kept ringing in his mind, banging harshly against the walls and were screaming to be heard. Oh, Naruto was hearing them just fine. He was becoming nauseated at just the thought of them. And now he was becoming angry, for the cynicism had toughened.

He smiled anyways. "Thank you," he replied calmly and watched the elderly woman return his smile. She passed him at the doorway and entered the hall.

The funeral home was a little too extravagant for Naruto's tastes, but his father liked it and that was good enough for him. The morning service had slithered by with a groan, and the afternoon was turning out to be not much better. His father had handled the standard greetings at the entrance that morning, but it was clear to Naruto that he couldn't be expected to do more than that. After the insatiable thrumming of words and emotions being thrown around, Naruto could understand how exhausted his father was.

Another one of his mother's older relatives came in and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief when she saw Naruto.

"Oh, how _awful_ a thing to happen, dearie," she said. "It's such a terrible disease, really."

 _You don't say?_ Naruto hastily pushed that bitterness aside, but he knew it would come back later, probably stronger. He flashed a charming grin at the lady and thanked her. After she was gone, he rubbed his forehead, trying desperately to reach a form of balance. But it was a difficult venture. It felt like he was standing on a splintered raft with great black waves thundering upon him, their savage crests stark with blind and merciless fury. The sensation intimidated him to the point of weak acceptance, although it was temporary. He was positive those violent waves were doing more than just threatening his stability.

The grieving process—Naruto was coming to find—was agonizingly surreal and slow. It was also brimming with mind-numbing mantras: 'everyone grieves differently' and 'this isn't the end, if you believe' and 'my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.' It was all the same thing! It was all so fake, so unnecessary, so unlike what it really felt. How could someone really expect to even lessen the pain by saying such meager words? His heart was being crushed and no one could make it better, so why did everybody feel inclined to make it their fucking mission to console him?

Why did they try to fix it?

Nothing was broken, nothing was wrong...it was just different. It was like being lost and knowing you weren't going to be found again; you had to go to an unfamiliar place and somehow make it home for you, but that was a such a tall task. It wasn't a fair one to make—not for a son who had lost his mother.

Despite these qualms, Naruto had a person who _did_ mitigate his suffering a bit—just enough to notice the progressing sensation of comfort.

She had tied her hair up and was advancing toward him from the restroom. She was dressed sharply in matching black skirt and blouse, and he thought she was stunning.

Sakura's eyes were glassy when she approached him. "How bad are you?" she asked.

Naruto loved that. He genuinely loved how that was the question she asked—not 'how are you?' like everybody else. She was aware of the crisis and wasn't trying to ignore it. It felt so much more real when people acted that way.

"Bad," he stated, "I don't think I can last much longer, to be honest."

She seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded. She fixed his tie and kissed his cheek. "You keep doing what you're doing, then. No one's going to judge you today, no matter what you do, so don't exert more than you have, OK?"

Naruto pecked her lips. "OK. Thank you, Sakura."

She smiled. "You bet. I'm gonna go be with your dad. Meet us when you're ready."

Naruto felt a little colder after she left, as if her presence brought him some warmth from the unforgiving tundra that was his situation. He supposed it wasn't going to get much better in the future—just more natural. There would come a time for acceptance, but it didn't have to come by soon. It could simply flicker back and forth in frustration, like a baby bird trying to learn the feeling of its wings, and then linger for a while. Maybe some rest would be nice after that. Naruto could take a break and just breathe. And that kept him going.

After the afternoon service, his father cried into his shoulder.

"It's just so hard right now, son," Minato confessed. "I wish we could just skip this part."

Naruto hugged his father and could only think of how battered his raft was now. He was going to fall into the sea and maybe become used to the idea of drowning. There wasn't any sign of land approaching, so he would prepare for that later. His father needed him, and he needed his father. That was all that mattered.

"I do, too, Dad," Naruto muttered. "I do, too."

* * *

Later that night, he got a call. Naruto had been dreading it, but he knew it would have to happen sooner or later. He was on his bed when he answered his phone, and his trepidation was at its highest right before he heard his friend's voice.

The first words Sasuke uttered over the line were not the ones he had been expecting. "You didn't call," he stated.

Naruto grunted in surprise and cleared his throat. "Yeah, well, there's been a lot on my mind lately." Even though the words sounded confrontational, there was no hint of offense in Sasuke's tone.

"My mother had to tell me what was going on. I just got done discussing everything that's happened over there with her." There was silence from his end for a moment. "I'm sorry, Naruto."

Naruto rubbed his eyes. He could feel his face warm from the sincerity in his friend's words. "Thanks, Sasuke. I should have called you. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this conversation."

"Do you mean about Sakura? Or your mother?"

Naruto's eyes widened. He shouldn't have been _that_ shocked. Sasuke was no fool and Naruto's hunches about his friend knowing weren't really misplaced, but it was still slightly jarring how astute the man's perception could be at times. He wasn't apt to respond in anger, even when he felt cheated, but Sasuke should have sounded far more upset than he was. Naruto had expected him to break off their friendship—one cultivated and nurtured over years of disagreements and grievances—or at least he could see Sasuke being unable to handle the development. But this was a different scenario entirely, and Naruto was curious to see where it would lead.

"Both, I guess," Naruto answered after taking a breath. "Did your mom tell you?"

"She said she saw you kiss Sakura at the funeral, but I already knew before that."

Naruto chuckled dryly. "You figured it out, then? That's just like you, you know."

He heard Sasuke sigh, and there was a rustling sound on his end. "She was never in love with me, Naruto. I always knew that. I was actually fine with it for a while but, in the end, I could see it was affecting her. She really doesn't know what she wants most of the time."

Naruto lay sprawled on his bed, his head hanging off the side. He ruffled his hair and exhaled loudly. "I've gotten that vibe, too. And I'm really sorry, Sasuke. I went behind your back this whole time. I should have told you my feelings for her a long time ago."

"Maybe," Sasuke muttered, "but it wouldn't have mattered, really. She's on her own level, I suppose. Her own world. No one can ever really touch her, and she barely even acknowledges those who could be worthy. I just wasn't the one who could bring her back down to earth. I never really deserved her, I guess."

"And you always knew that?"

"To some degree." He sounded tired then, like a man that was finally accepting his fate and not bothering to complain about it. "I just wanted to be with that woman for as long as possible. She may bring a lot of chaos with her, but she also has a lot more to offer. I think I was trying to figure out what all that was. I needed to see the uncovered sides of her, but even that wasn't something I deserved in the end. I believe I see that now."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself, Sasuke. You were much better for her than I ever was."

Sasuke laughed. "You know that's not true. She wants you now, Naruto. Maybe she won't forever. Maybe she'll have to fly back up to her world again someday. Maybe she'll even take you with her—I don't know. The only thing I know for sure is that she loves you. And she's going to try to love you the best way she can. I'm glad she's with you now because you're gonna need her."

"Thanks, Sasuke." Naruto could feel his face warm up again and now he wanted to cry—more so out of gratitude than anything else. "I'm just so sorry, though. Things would have been fine if she stayed with you. I can't imagine this being the best-case scenario."

"Maybe it's not. Again, I don't know for sure. She simply wasn't mine to have. I did what I could, and now I'm where I need to be." Sasuke's tone seemed to sharpen then and Naruto could sense the flow of emotion, as if it was oozing out of the phone and into the air around him. "And so are you, Naruto. The both of you are exactly where you need to be."

Thick tears pooled around Naruto's bedsheets, and he smeared his smudged face with his palm. "I appreciate that, man. I really do. I haven't even told Ino and now with Mom gone, I didn't think this would all happen like this. It's all too much to handle for me and I just...really needed this."

"Good," said Sasuke. "Glad to help. You'll need to tell Ino soon, though. Hopefully, before school starts again."

"Yeah, I know. I will. Will you be coming back for that?"

There was a pause on the other line and then: "No, I won't."

Naruto closed his eyes and felt the stale air fill his lungs. "I see. Well, best of luck, then. I do hope to see you soon, though."

"You will. I won't vanish, I promise. But I think my place is here for the foreseeable future."

"I understand," Naruto said.

"I knew you would."

They said their goodbyes after that and hung up. For the next hour or so, before he fell asleep, Naruto stared out his window at the frosted night. Somewhere lost in that faint sky, he found enough solace to feel like he was making progress. Things were settling around him like the stars did every night, and that was something to be thankful for. The sun was still there when he awoke the next morning, and he was thankful for that, too.

* * *

The palm tree's rough trunk protruded uncomfortably into his back, but he didn't care. Minato leaned against it and slumped to the ground, submitting to his fatigue. The late summer night was cool, but it wasn't pleasant. The wind shook the spreading fronds above him, and the midnight sounds sang mildly from the surrounding brush. A sliver of moon was slowly waxing in the sky as the dying stars attempted to share their cold rays with that crescent light. A low hill to the west was blocking the view of the ocean, but he could hear the smooth, dim thrum of the high tide coming in.

The grave was naked; it would be another week or so until the headstone would be ready. Without a mark, it felt like the shoveled, fresh dirt was just another patch of ground. There was no significance to it, and Minato supposed that was fitting considering the corpse was merely a shell now. He wanted to get philosophical about it, for that would have been a nice change of pace from the lower, innate grief he was becoming accustomed to, but he couldn't dwell on it for more than a few thoughts before that dull ache would start to throb again.

For the last few days, since the death of his wife, Minato hadn't had much time to think. Grieving was all he was able to do. But, then again, was that really what he had been doing? What was grieving anyways? Was it being part of a cycle of emotions and mental patterns that all ended up in the same place? He wasn't sure how people handled it. Everyone had to come to terms with their fate at some point, but then there was the fate of others—those loved ones that kept a person warm and known in the dead hours of the night. Yet it was such a rude awakening to see the dreariness when you woke up, Minato thought bitterly. That was when it all became difficult to accept.

And he didn't _want_ to accept anything!

Minato wanted his wife back. He wanted to hold her and feel the touch of her soft fingers and hear that sweet, tender voice he had loved for so many years. All he had was memories and that wasn't good enough! That wasn't anything! What was he supposed to do with memories? He couldn't dance with them, and they brought him no comfort. They were as thin and distant as the moon was to him now.

As painful as they were, however, Minato kept slipping into those little, simple images. Kushina had always been a sharp, wild spirit. She was quick to laugh at things and didn't really mind it when matters got tough. She tried not to let the trivial parts of life affect her, but she tended to take words from people personally. If someone criticized or judged her out rightly, her responses were quite emotional, and she would become a fiery spectacle to behold.

And through all the memories he had of her, there was one that stood out more than the others—one that shined a little brighter and wrapped around his mind like an old worn necklace.

The day Naruto was born had been a stormy one. He recalled driving to the hospital as an ordeal with the flooded streets and backed-up traffic. Kushina was a mess that day and he had quickly learned that trying to comfort her had been futile. She had been cursing and throwing insults at everyone she could during that time. He chuckled at remembering how irrational she could be when her emotions got too high. But when their son had arrived, her mood had changed.

It was as if she had become a different person then with her bright smile and twinkling eyes, fixed upon their darling little boy. He never forgot the words she had said to him that day:

 _Isn't it he beautiful, dear? I never knew something so beautiful could exist._

Minato sobbed. Such a pure memory didn't deserve to be remembered by her grave, but he couldn't help it. There were many times in his life where he had considered himself happy—times where he could look back and say he had enjoyed himself and felt an ardent connection to the meaning in the moment, but that day had been different. It was the only time where he had ever felt blessed, as if heaven had granted him the view of what really mattered yet only for a single moment. And now that his wife was gone, that memory felt more obscure than it ever did before.

He was never going to get that back, was he? The rest of his life was going to be hollow and stripped like the rotten corpse of some great tree. Kushina had tried her best to stay with them, but the world just couldn't allow such a perfect woman to exist in it for too long.

 _Isn't it beautiful, dear?_

Was it? Was it really? Did she know what she meant when she said that then? Kushina could have been saying so much more by that question.

Yet somewhere, far off with the diamonds of the night, he believed she was right. Maybe one day the beauty would return, and he would feel that wonderful, indescribable joy again. But for now, he just wanted to cry by his wife's grave. That was just fine with him.

And after the grass had covered the bare earth and a simple headstone would display the life of Kushina Uzumaki, he would still be here for her. One day he would be buried next to her and then they could both sleep eternally together. Although, it was not time for sleeping; he was awake after all. But right now, with the weak moon and the thinning waves whispering faraway at the coast, Minato wanted to rest.

* * *

Naruto had called Ino to tell her everything that had happened. But he didn't have the chance to explain himself. After he had covered the issue with his mother, he told her about Sakura. Ino had hung up after the first sentence concerning the girl. It wasn't until the week before classes started again that he spoke with her, and it turned out to be as painful of a meeting as he had expected it to.

He had received a text from Ino to meet with her at the beach.

The sun was low—a cherry-red orb hovering over the amber horizon—and the beach was empty. Sitting on a little bench towards the far end of the sand where the shadows slowly migrated away from the sea, a pretty blonde was gazing at the tangerine waves.

Naruto shuffled through the sand and stood by the bench. For a while, neither of them said anything. Ino didn't even look up at him. The perpetual noise of the receding surf and the rolling thunder was all that was heard. Naruto wondered how his little, feeble raft would hold up for this one.

Finally, after half the sun dipped into the water like a sinking token, Naruto said the only words that came to mind: "I'm sorry."

Immediately, Ino turned to him, her eyes glimmering. "Are you?"

He winced. "I... I am. I want to be at least…"

A dry chortle bounced from Ino's lips. "Oh? That's the most honest thing you've ever said to me, Naruto."

"You know that's not true."

Ino stood up and her loose, unrestrained hair was pushed back by the evolving breeze. "I don't know what's true anymore," she admitted. "I've been trying to figure that out for a long time."

Naruto believed that. He knew her search was never going to end, but he certainly hadn't been helping. "Maybe that's—"

"I believed in you, you know," she added, cutting through his attempts like it wasn't hurting her as well. "I believed in that wonder you showed me. Was I wrong? Or was it actually there and I was just looking at it differently?"

In many ways, Naruto didn't want to be there. He had debated even showing up when he got her text. But a pull, one that was persistent enough to get him off his bed, tugged on his sense of responsibility. He didn't regret standing before her then. He just wished he had been kinder to her. He realized now the lies he had told her were simply cruel. And that kept him listening.

"Maybe I wasn't any better," she revealed. An unhappy smile adorned her mouth. "I accepted the fact that you never loved me pretty easily."

"Ino, I did—"

"Please, don't, Naruto," she interjected. "I couldn't stand to hear you say it again. We both know it's not true. But I _knew_ that before, too. Do you think accepting a lie you know to be untrue is just as bad as telling one? I'll have to ask Dr. Nara that one. I'm sure he'll have a good answer."

Ino brought a delicate finger up to her face and slid it under her eye. "I'm sorry about your mom, Naruto. I would be a lot angrier at you right now if it wasn't for her."

Naruto nodded. "I can understand that. Thank you."

"I suppose you want me to say that I'll be there if you need anything, huh? Well, I won't because I don't think I could be. I'm far too upset, you see."

He couldn't help but smile at that. "Would you believe me if I said that I find that to be a relief? I'm really sick of people telling me what they think I want to hear."

She nodded, as if the thought never occurred to her. "That's good, then. I _do_ believe you. Isn't that silly?"

"A little."

That unhappy smile grew. "I'm just so _silly_ , aren't I? I'd have to be to really believe that I could make a difference in your life, to compete with someone like Sakura. I always knew you wouldn't be able to stop looking at her. I just wanted you to look away for a moment, really, for you to consider that maybe there was someone else in this world who was trying to give the best they could; maybe then you could have seen a different side of things. You're usually pretty one-sided about things, so maybe I was just trying to help you."

Naruto had been worried that because of her mother's demise, he wouldn't be able to feel most emotions for a while, that he would have to get used to this numbing, cavernous sensation within him. He was reassured to know he was wrong now. "You're really killing me here, Ino," he conceded.

"Good!" she shouted. "I'm glad you see what it feels like!" There was a fire in her eyes, one that was now gone from the western horizon and it burned fiercely. "How could you do that to me? How could you really go behind my back and be with her? To sleep with her. You did, didn't you? Don't lie to me!"

His eyes were locked on hers. He was scared he was going to be burned by her glare, but he owed it to her to remain steadfast. He said nothing.

"Why can't I be angrier, dammit?!" she continued after realizing her answer was already there. "I want so badly to rage and curse everything, especially you." Her tears were a torrent, an unrelenting force that put the waves to shame. "I can't stand this hole in my heart now. It's not that I even want it to go away; I think I just want more time. I want to be at the point where I can better understand this feeling! Why can't I just skip all this fucking pain?"

Naruto surmised that was what everyone really wanted when they experienced raw suffering. The other thoughts and feelings were more in the way, but the truth tended to step forward further than the rest—humans just wanted to understand it all.

"When my mother died," he started, "I didn't really feel angry." She wasn't looking at him; she was focused on the amethyst sky where hot lights were beginning to poke through the velvet sheet, but he knew she was listening to every word. "I think I wanted to be, but instead I was feeling something a lot more basic. I think it's really hard to describe sadness because most people want to think it's like the opposite of happiness. But in that moment, I know what it really felt like. It was as if there wasn't anything else to feel, like I was being stripped apart to almost nothing and the only thing that was left was my pain. I think that might be what you're feeling now."

Ino closed her eyes and slowly nodded. "That's pretty good, I guess. To be fair, though, your pain is probably a lot greater than my own right now. No matter how much I hate it, I know I can't compare what we're both feeling. It's not fair to measure a person's suffering with another. So, I guess I'm not mad. Like you said, I'm just sad."

She released a thick laugh, one that sounded so somber and dejected. "God, even now, I admire you. You talking like that just reminds me how much I've missed you. I should have known things would have turned out like this; I just didn't care. I wanted to hold on to you for as long as I could. How awful is that? Maybe we were a good match for each other after all."

"I did really like you, though," he said. "Not just cause you were there when Sakura wasn't, but because you tried to understand me."

"I was hollow, too," she remarked. "We were both trying to connect to someone. The only problem was that I was willing to give up more than you were."

"I guess that makes me worse, then."

Ino was silent for a long time. Her mind was skirting around something relevant yet distant. A shooting star sliced through the night sky, and she collected herself. "Do you remember the ending of 'Winter Dreams'? That short story by Fitzgerald I told you to read?"

Naruto's eyebrows rose. The day at the bookstore with her felt like a lifetime ago. "Huh? Uh, yeah. The part where he's sad he lost the girl?"

Ino shook her head; those tears—smaller and less frequent now—streamed gently down her cheeks. "No, that's not why he was sad. The protagonist didn't miss her. He wasn't even upset she had married someone else. He was sad because he felt _nothing_. His dreams were shattered long before that, and he wasn't going to ever get them back. Life wasn't so pretty to him anymore, and he had to accept that." She brought her arm to wipe her face. "I don't want that to happen to me, Naruto. I don't want to look back at my time with you and see the world as gray and dull. I can't stand the idea of knowing that the best is over now. That's way too terrible."

Naruto hung his head, unable to look at her. "I'm sorry it had to happen like this, Ino."

Ino stepped out of her sandals and felt the coarse sand in between her toes. "Those waves sure are wondrous, aren't they? And they always will be, you know. Just like how I'll always love you, Naruto. The world's going to gray over from now on and I don't think its colors will ever be as pretty as they used to be, but I won't ever stop loving you."

Naruto stood next to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She didn't shake him away. "I know you can't say the same, Naruto, but at least no one's lying anymore. I think we're both a little more hollow than we were when we first met, but it was fun, right? I think we had a lot of…" She broke off then. Her face was in his chest, staining it with her sobs.

Naruto held her and allowed her to cry. As the sky darkened and that amethyst shimmer faded away, he wondered if he would be seeing the color anymore either.

* * *

 **It's a little hard for me to accept that I have to end this story. There's only one more chapter after this, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I want to thank you for being there with me for all this. I'll see you in the last update.**

 **-CM**


	17. Be Still

Chapter 17: Be Still

" _Women and men(both dong and ding)_

 _summer autumn winter spring_

 _reaped their sowing and went their came_

 _sun moon stars rain"_

 _-E.E. Cummings_

* * *

The last time Sakura saw Ino was during the first week of classes. She later found that to be fitting.

Autumn hadn't dropped to soothe the burn summer had carelessly left that day. The lingering heat had decided to dwell longer, as if it didn't like the idea of being forgotten. The fresh students of the college didn't seem to mind the temperature; they were far too enraptured with the future. But the returners—the ones who remembered the past too often—cursed it. Sakura, however, barely noticed how hot it was that day. If she had been asked later that night about her thoughts concerning the weather, she would have had trouble recalling it.

She was trapped in her mind. A strong force had come and disturbed the land around her. It had transformed everything to such a great extent by means she barely understood, and whether it was through the order of events or even the direct causes themselves confused her. All she was certain of was the choices that had been made. She was tempted to add morality to the mix—to see if asking if she had been good or bad was even necessary to bring up, but that made it too messy. She was sick of mess. She was so sick of seeing her mistakes so clearly. They were stains on her skin, and no matter how much she washed and ignored them, they were still obvious and glaring. Their taunting had thankfully rusted, but she thought they looked uglier now—more callous and decayed.

When Sakura opened the door to her dorm and stopped in the doorway, those rusted bits moved ever so slightly, as if no time had passed at all.

Ino was sitting on the bed she had once called her own, a small bag placed near her feet. She smiled when she saw Sakura freeze. "I wonder if I should be offended by that reaction," she said.

Sakura relaxed her shoulders and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

Ino motioned to the bag at her feet. "I had to pick up the last of my things."

Sakura's eyes lowered. "So, you're actually leaving? I was just hoping you found a different roommate."

There was a smoothness to Ino's smile then, like she was remembering something important. "As much as I'd like to stay, I think it's best if I go back home."

Sakura nodded. "I understand." A part of her _didn't,_ though. A part of Sakura wanted for Ino to not leave because that meant she would be responsible for pushing her friend away. To understand meant to accept, and she couldn't accept this.

"I also came to say goodbye, too," Ino confessed. Her eyes avoided Sakura's gaze. "To be honest, it's the main reason I'm here. I guess I thought we both deserved it."

Sakura looked at her incredulously. "I don't deserve anything, Ino—not from you. I honestly don't see how you don't hate me for everything that's happened."

Ino's smile widened, and Sakura thought she looked beautiful, like that Wordsworth poem where the lonely cloud wanders the world.

"How could I do that?" Ino inquired. "I think I'd be in the wrong then. Don't get me wrong; there's a part of me that's angry but not at you. I believe I'm just angry at the world and how unpredictable it can be, which really sucks when you think about it." Sakura was reminded of that part in the poem where the cloud saw some daffodils and decided to dance with them; it was only then that the narrator mentioned he was happy.

"I mean, isn't maturity about not getting angry? I always thought so. I guess that still makes me a child. And I had tried so hard not to be, too, Sakura. I really did."

Sakura knew there was depth to Ino's words. She could see the torment and conflict in them, but there wasn't much she could do. It was clear how difficult it was for Ino to bring them out and to press the issue further would just increase the strain for her.

"I know you did," Sakura muttered. It was all she could say.

Ino nodded, her smile still full. "I also had a question for you, if you don't mind."

Sakura's head lifted. "Yes?"

"What happened with Sasuke and you? That is, were you unhappy? Or was it just a natural thing?"

Sakura was surprised to find she didn't really mind the question, despite its barbed nature. She found it quite easy to answer, in fact. And, in her own way, she realized maybe that wasn't a good thing.

"Do you remember that night I read _Romeo and Juliet_?" Sakura asked. She waited for Ino's reply then continued. "I was searching then, you see. I was just trying to figure out what my emotions were trying to tell me. Somehow, I think that play had the answer. Although, it wasn't easy to accept."

Ino's eyes glimmered wistfully. "I can relate, I think."

"It's kind of a terrible feeling, isn't it? Once you figure it out, it seems cruel. See, the play isn't about what most people think it is. It's not just a love story between two young lovers who are able to bring peace between two families. It's far more than that; it's about the tragedy of love—how truly awful it really is. People like to delude themselves with love, I guess. They like to think that they're the only ones on the planet who could possibly feel such things, that they can shut out the world and breathe only from one another. But it's not like that. Eventually, you have to wake up from the dream. Life isn't so kind that it will let you have the moments you want."

"Was that what happened with Sasuke, then?" asked Ino. "Did you wake up?"

"Yes," Sakura admitted. "But it didn't feel like waking up exactly. It felt more like it became clear, like a blurry photo does the more you stare at it. And when I saw it, I knew that I had let myself be tricked into thinking that my desires were enough. But sometimes love isn't enough. It wasn't for Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare wasn't saying that love conquers all or that peace can be reached through love." Sakura felt the urge to cry, but the tears didn't come. There was only a dull, warm sensation in their place. "No, he was saying that it often fails. No matter how much people may want it to work, sometimes the world will destroy it for no reason at all. And that's where I made a mistake. I just had to hurt people in the process."

Sakura's eyes stung, as if she had been crying the whole time, but they were still dry. "I'm sorry, Ino. I never loved Sasuke, and I made it worse by going after Naruto. My intent was to take him for a while. And…" This next part was the hardest part of her confession; it was the part with the greatest amount of malice—the one that made her feel like scum. "...I didn't care if I was hurting you. As long as I had him, I didn't care about anything else."

Sakura dropped her head into her hands. She was able to cry this time, but they were meager teardrops, which made it seem like she still didn't care. But before she knew it, she felt the embrace of her friend. She returned the hug and squeezed. Ino smelled like flowers, and the scent calmed her.

While Ino was hugging her, she whispered: "That's all right."

Sakura sobbed into her friend's shoulder. "No, it's not! How is that ever okay? I didn't give a shit about you, Ino. I just saw Naruto as an object then—something that you had and I wanted. No matter how you look at it, that's wrong!"

Ino tightened the hug and while Sakura couldn't see her face, she knew she still had that mournful smile. "Probably, but I don't care about that. It's not like I never expected you to hurt me. I could probably hate you for it. Hell, it might even be my right to do so, but I've seen decisions like that destroy people. They allow them to eat at their hearts for years until they're burnt out. I'm too tired for that, honestly. Plus…" She released her hold on Sakura and took a step back. Her smile was dazzling, and Sakura wasn't ready for it. "I think it's for the best. He really loves you, you know."

Sakura wept harder and nodded her head frantically. "Yes, I do know. I always knew. And I love him, too! I really do!"

Ino laughed. The sound reminded Sakura of the sea—of the drifting, joyous surf that pooled against her toes. "Then stop being so hard on yourself, silly. Stop making yourself out to be the bad guy. You're just in love and that makes people do some crazy stuff. Sure, it doesn't excuse it, but I'm not going to hold it against you."

Sakura's gratitude soared, and she hugged Ino again. "Thank you! Oh, I'm going to miss you so much, Ino!"

Ino placed her hand on Sakura's head. "Me too. I hope it works out for you here."

"But what about you?" Sakura asked. "Where will you go from here?"

Ino shook her head. "I don't know. But wherever I do go, I'm going to try to be a little more fair to myself. I think you should do the same."

"OK," Sakura sniffled and rubbed her eyes, "I'll try."

"Good." Ino grinned and picked up her bag. "And remember that it's all right to be confused by your emotions. Just try not to give up on them. Naruto's pretty good with them, you know. You could try talking with him about them. I think he'll respond well if you do."

"All right." Now, Sakura was smiling. The rust was gone, and she felt new, as if she was clean and not tainted by the impurities. "I'll do that."

With that, Ino hugged her one final time and left. And for a long time, Sakura stood alone in a room that had never felt so empty to her before.

* * *

Naruto sat by the open window, the salt-infused air gliding through his hair. Somewhere off among the rhythms of the ocean, the twitter of a songbird welcomed him. There was a filmy mist moving across the waves and it obscured his view of the horizon. The low sun was nothing more than a muted orb shrouded by the dense fog. He took note of the silvered coastline and remembered his questions of beauty a year ago.

Back then, Naruto saw the world differently. Beauty had seemed a lot more objective to him when he was taking in the splendor of nature and how simple people had seemed to him. Meeting Sakura had initially started as something natural, and any sense of complexity hadn't surfaced yet. But now—much like the gloomy shore—Naruto found beauty in the complexities he knew of. Ino had helped with his discoveries, too, he supposed. But thinking of her still hurt; it was like picking at a scab that was surely contorting into a scar.

 _Now I just gotta count those scars,_ he thought. _The better I can remember their stories, the more they'll be worth the struggle in the first place._ The big scar, the one that sliced through his heart and cried his name in a motherly voice, was one he didn't have to worry about forgetting. Although, the idea of it dwindling into a gray memory scared him a little. He'd have to work on that. He'd have to work on a lot of things. _But everybody's gotta do that. It's not like I'm the only one with scars._ Somehow, that thought was comforting—just a little.

Sakura entered his room some time after that comforting thought. He had heard her come in, but he didn't say anything until she was sitting next to him by the window.

"It's a pretty evening, isn't it?" she commented.

"It is," he agreed. "I thought it looked sad at first."

Sakura smiled. "Yeah, that's what I meant. Sad and pretty."

"Do those two things really work together?" he asked, already expecting the answer.

She kissed his cheek and relaxed her head upon his shoulder. "Absolutely. I find the prettiest things to be really sad."

Naruto thought about that for a moment. "Are you sad, Sakura?"

She lifted her head and looked out the window when he asked that. Her pensive gaze seemed to absorb the nature of the view and elevated it somehow, for his focus was on her and only her. "I think so. Emotions are kinda hard to identify unless they're strong, you know. Like I know how I feel about you, but how I feel right now, in this exact moment, is a little hard to pinpoint."

"And how do you feel about me?"

Her eyes lowered and then rested on his face. "I love you, Naruto. I'm so drawn to you that it's almost like an entire emotion in itself. These feelings I have for you are things I've never felt before."

Naruto frowned slightly. "Is there more to it than just the feelings, then? Like are there more layers to it?"

Sakura smirked and shrugged. "You almost make it sound like it's bad to have them. I think they're necessary to understand the harder stuff, and I'm pretty sure of them. I think you can trust them."

He thought that seemed fair. Feelings weren't as capricious as people liked to see them as. They were natural and a part of life, even if they weren't very stable on their own. "I do trust them, I think," he added. "I want to, anyways."

"I'm scared of them, to be honest," Sakura admitted solemnly. He quirked an eyebrow. She noticed and continued her thought. "I'm scared they'll go away after a while. They always seem to for me."

"Why are you so hard on yourself for that?"

Sakura winced. "Isn't that obvious? It's not fair to anybody. You can't trust a person who keeps changing their mind. I don't expect anyone to like me after that, and yet here you are—completely aware of my shortcomings."

"And that's why I'm confused. You know I'm aware of them, so what's the problem?"

Sakura leaned back and sat on his bed. Her expression was troubled and as cloudy as the sea was that evening. "Because I could hurt you!" she exclaimed. "I most definitely will. There might come a day where I wake up next to you and don't feel anything, then I'll leave without a second thought. I've done it a thousand times and I feel terrible about it, but I can't help these jealous, petty feelings."

"So don't let them control you," Naruto stated simply.

Sakura gawked at him. "What?" She pressed her lips tightly. "It's not that easy…"

"Of course not. Most people can barely do it even a little, but that's part of being an adult. You're not an animal, Sakura. You're not a slave to your feelings. You have the power to control them."

Sakura clutched her hands together, as if there was throbbing pain there. "You believe in me too much. I can't do that alone."

Naruto wrapped his hands with hers. "That's why you're not alone. I need to control mine, too."

Sakura averted her eyes from him. He saw the battle raging in her. "I guess that'll work." Naruto understood it took a lot of strength for her to admit even that. He believed it would get easier. They would just keep adding strength to their bond, so even when the tough stuff came swinging, they would be ready.

"Ino came by earlier today," Sakura confessed after a pause between them.

"She did?"

Sakura sighed and messed with her hair. "Yes. It was hard to handle, but she said she was going home. We said our goodbyes and she left."

Naruto sat next to her on the bed and leaned his elbows onto his knees. "What else did she say to you?"

"She just wanted to get some closure, I think. She got vulnerable with me and asked about why I left Sasuke, and I told her. Honestly, I'm not sure what to think of the whole conversation, but she seemed at peace by the end there. I hope she found what she was looking for."

"I don't think she was looking for something," he replied. "It was more like she was trying to fill herself with something. Maybe she did get to do that; it just wasn't with what she wanted originally." Naruto could see the blonde waving at him, a large grin inviting him into the waves. "I hope she's happy now."

"She will be, I think," said Sakura. "For now, she just needs to think about everything."

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "It's kind of like grieving."

Sakura held him. "How so?"

He hesitated, and she pressed her nose into his neck. "I want you to talk about your mom with me, even if it's hard."

"It's not exactly like it's hard to talk about it," he said, "it's just hard to find the right person to talk about it with. I had my own relationship with my mom and no matter what I do, no one will really ever understand it like I do. I won't know what it's like for my dad, either. He lost his wife and I can't imagine how bad his pain is. At least I have someone who can take a deeper spot in my heart than her, but my dad...he must feel so alone."

Sakura nodded. "And that's something he has to deal with. That's his burden to bear. You have your own. And I'm here to help as best I can." She caressed her cheek and kissed him.

Naruto was floating in a haze of smooth, drifting emotions. His grief, affection, and passion were all present, but they were amalgamating—sliding and easing into one another and what was left was simply a distorted mess. But underneath the gnarled confusion, he saw Sakura. She had her hand out, asking for connection. And he wasn't scared of being broken.

Sakura released the kiss. "I don't wanna ever leave you," she whispered. "When I wake up every day, I want to still love you."

Naruto looked at her, smiling as sincerely as he could. "As long as you feel that way, then we can make it work. Even if we can't, if the day comes where you've left and we both feel hollow without each other, then we'll just work with that. It'll be hard, but we can probably do it. We've made it this far."

Sakura's eyes broadened, and tears fell from them. He was mesmerized by how solid she seemed to him then—how there was so much affection in her face. They would be just fine, he surmised. They may both have hurt others and were surely going to hurt again, but they would make it.

"I'll stay with you," she promised. "I'll stay with you for as long as I can."

And that was all he needed to hear.

They kissed again and spent the night together. Outside, the mist drifted across the ocean and receded when the dawn came. When they both awoke and saw they were still together, they laughed and held one another.

* * *

The new house welcomed the morning light with glee and allowed a stray sunbeam to break through the window blinds of the bedroom.

The beam brushed his face and woke him. He sluggishly rose to a seating position and looked around the room. A friendly photo of four friends smiled back at him from atop the dresser. He was glad he had put it there; it was a wonderful thing to wake up to.

After he took note of where things were—he was still getting used to the new home—his eyes rested on her sleeping form. Her back was turned to him, and he felt himself falling into the rhythm of her breathing. Looking back on that old promise, he was content with admitting things didn't exactly get easier; no, in some ways, they even got harder. But his mind was stronger, and it could withstand more, especially with her by his side. Their combined durability had lasted this long, and it had done so because of one solid, unshakable truth.

She was still there. They both were.

THE END

* * *

 **When I first started this story, I was in a place where I just had to write a romantic AU story that I could relate with. I really wanted to try to express the harder, more instinctive parts I had learned from my early college days. Now that I'm done here, I think I did it, as best I could, at least. I don't think I could write a more personal story if I tried from here on out. I think writing has the potential to carry anything a person could want, and I wanted to show my own experiences and truths. Maybe that makes this story another Gary Stu or something, and that's fine with me. I don't think that's a bad thing. I did what I set out to do, and that's enough for me.**

 **I hope the ending satisfied you. It felt right with me. I've got some other works to focus on now, so you'll see me again soon if you'll have me.**

 **Thanks for reading. It was a lot of fun.**

 **-CM**


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